Monday, October 22, 2012

The only news we want from Gloria Allred and Donald Trump

There's a rumor going around the Internet that celebrity attorney Gloria "I Am So In Love With Seeing Myself On TV That, Like Forrest Gump, I Somehow Find a Way To Insert Myself Into Virtually Every News Story" Allred may be announcing major news that will adversely affect the Romney campaign.

Not to be undone, Donald "I Swear To God This Really Is My Own Hair Even Though You'd Think I Could Afford A Decent Haircut Instead Of This Ridiculous Combover" Trump has announced he will reveal on Wednesday news about Obama that's likely to sew it up for Romney.

Here's the only announcement America wants from either one of these whack jobs: "I've been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and will be checking myself into an expensive mental institution for treatment."

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