tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62453904428285263382024-03-15T21:10:18.248-04:00tomdryden.comAmerica's Only Objective Journalist ®Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.comBlogger426125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-49706492407237470452024-02-15T18:27:00.004-05:002024-02-25T09:45:14.354-05:00The dumbest Super Bowl commercial ever<p><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/OU7BJc96lI4" width="320" youtube-src-id="OU7BJc96lI4"></iframe></div><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /><p></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There were lots (and lots and lots) of commercials during Sunday’s Bowl game. Many, if not most, missed the mark completely. The reason?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The ad agency folks<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>who created them and the clients who approved them neglected to explain the features and benefits — the reasons<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>viewers should buy whatever product or service they were promoting. Many featured celebrities who were paid handsomely to promote themselves,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>because they sure weren't saying or demonstrating anything about the products they were supposed to be pushing. Disagree? OK then, take this test. What product or service was Kris Jenner promoting? Laura Dern?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Dan Levy? Tina Fey? Chris Pratt? Arnold Schwarzenegger? Gimme the name of the brand, not the genre. See what I mean? </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But the worst commercial of all didn’t feature celebrities. It featured the second unhappiest family in America (after the Bidens). <br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">A quick recap: A young figure skater is performing in a competition. Camera cuts to her dad in the audience as his daughter finishes to wild applause. The seat next to him is empty. For a split second, he smiles, pleased his daughter did well, but then glances at the vacant seat beside him, loses his smile, and becomes instantly sad as a wrist-slashingly depressing singer starts intoning a song that reminded me of the opening scene in Dr. Zhivago where young Yuri follows his mother’s casket to her grave. The singer continues her dirge until the commercial ends.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The skater who, for a second, had flashed a triumphant smile, is now looking as sad as her dad — she obviously heard the music. Cut to a blue KIA EV9 as dad drives his daughter through the snow along a twisting mountain road. He uses the car’s navigation system to map out his route and arrives at a home<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>which, conveniently, has a frozen pond in the yard.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Cut to an old man — presumably the girl’s grandfather — inside the house, in a wheelchair. Cut back outside to the girl’s dad. He is stringing carnival lights above the pond, which he plugs into a generator that, in turn, he plugs into his electric car. Someone wheels the old man to the window as the lights come on above the pond, revealing the girl re-creating her skate show. The old man’s tears up, puts his hand on his heart and writes “10” (e.g. the score an Olympic judge would give for a perfect performance) in the frost on the window. I assume he wrote 10 to indicate his approval but perhaps he wrote it to let his son and granddaughter know that’s how many days he has left to live since they obviously don’t visit often — otherwise they wouldn’t have had to use the navigation system to find him.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Cut to, and hold on, the car as announcer intones, “Kia. Movement that Inspires.” <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve had bowel movements that inspired me more.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There are so many things wrong with this commercial I hardly know where to begin.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">For starters, why did Kia choose a sad situation — a seriously ill elderly man unable to leave his house? Why didn’t the creators have the girl perform on a frozen pond outside a hospital where, from a window, her mother, holding the baby to which she just gave birth, watches her daughter do triple axels and spins? That would have been a happy occasion. Don’t you want products that make you feel happy? Of course you do. Everyone does.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Another observation: This is 2024. Everyone has a smart phone. So why didn’t the girl’s dad simply take a video of her performance with his phone and share it with the old man?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Why is the music track that plays under the commercial as depressing as “The Funeral March of a Marionette?” Shouldn’t a commercial for a trendy product be lively and/or happy to communicate how using it makes one feel?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Why didn’t the girl's dad, when he installed the lights above the frozen pond, simply get an extension cord and plug them into an outdoor socket? Wouldn’t that have been cheaper, faster and easier than buying a $42,000+ electricity-generating car? </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Come to think of it, are there any benefits of owning a Kia EV9 other than being able to use it to generate electricity?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Does the car reduce CO2 emissions?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>If so, that could have been mentioned to appeal to environmentally-conscious consumers. Does it help owners save money on costly gas? That benefit would have appealed to budget-conscious viewers. Is it fun to drive? Does it have unique safety features in snowy driving conditions? How does it compare to other cars in its price class? Does it convert, at the touch of a button, into an airplane? Who the hell would know from this commercial?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Certainly not viewers, though it’s a safe bet both the agency and client got VIP tickets to the Super Bowl from CBS which charged something like $14 million to air the spot.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">What’s the next Kia EV9 commercial gonna show? The dad and daughter in their KIA following a hearse carrying the old man’s body to the cemetery?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sure, why not?</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-82074168958711114892024-02-12T13:38:00.014-05:002024-02-12T18:05:26.029-05:00The Death of Capt. Waskow<p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjev5N2m2FBIT4s-jLGwlLsuAZDXcEm30LRLoj-GE4ryqWs3TOsPkw0mfUEoOplE9hMNTHp-MRb9E6PGYZuwct78LO5tDaM_mbDHsQcgVcUUQ6ex6sFUVzKcIn_JgOaEEefQ9aW4ytrAVc2HmfoB7qoPxarRUO1XR3_znnazjZ_sTB8W6AeulmCev7EU7E/s191/download%202.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="191" data-original-width="157" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjev5N2m2FBIT4s-jLGwlLsuAZDXcEm30LRLoj-GE4ryqWs3TOsPkw0mfUEoOplE9hMNTHp-MRb9E6PGYZuwct78LO5tDaM_mbDHsQcgVcUUQ6ex6sFUVzKcIn_JgOaEEefQ9aW4ytrAVc2HmfoB7qoPxarRUO1XR3_znnazjZ_sTB8W6AeulmCev7EU7E/s1600/download%202.jpg" width="157" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Ernie Pyle</span></td></tr></tbody></table><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;"><br /></i><p></p><p><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-size: 12px;">I just finished reading “The Soldier’s Truth” by David Chrisinger. It is the biography of Ernie Pyle, the journalist known for his reporting from the European and Pacific theaters during WWII. Pyle’s dispatches from the front lines about ordinary soldiers were printed in hundreds of newspapers back home and eagerly devoured by millions of readers. Pyle was killed during the Battle of Okinawa in April,1945.</i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Pyle filed “The Death of Captain Waskow” from Italy in early 1944. I r</i></span><i>ead it for the first time yesterday while using a treadmill at the gym. At its conclusion, I had to climb off the treadmill and sit down. My head was spinning not only from the story, but from the beauty, truth, power and simplicity of Pyle’s writing.</i></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><i><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></i></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Every journalism student should be required to memorize it, It should be read aloud from the Capitol steps every Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day. It should be on the syllabus of every American history class. All of us should read it and re-read it often, to remind ourselves why, whatever our differences and there are many, we can be proud of our country and, especially, how much we owe to those who fought and sometimes died for it.</i></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>The Death of Captain Waskow</b></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">AT THE FRONT LINES IN ITALY, January 10, 1944 – In this war I have known a lot of officers who were loved and respected by the soldiers under them. But never have I crossed the trail of any man as beloved as Capt. Henry T. Waskow of Belton, Texas.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Capt. Waskow was a company commander in the 36th Division. He had led his company since long before it left the States. He was very young, only in his middle twenties, but he carried in him a sincerity and gentleness that made people want to be guided by him.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">"After my own father, he came next," a sergeant told me.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">"He always looked after us," a soldier said. "He’d go to bat for us every time."</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">"I’ve never knowed him to do anything unfair," another one said.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I was at the foot of the mule trail the night they brought Capt. Waskow’s body down. The moon was nearly full at the time, and you could see far up the trail, and even part way across the valley below. Soldiers made shadows in the moonlight as they walked.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Dead men had been coming down the mountain all evening, lashed onto the backs of mules. They came lying belly-down across the wooden pack-saddles, their heads hanging down on the left side of the mule, their stiffened legs sticking out awkwardly from the other side, bobbing up and down as the mule walked.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The Italian mule-skinners were afraid to walk beside dead men, so Americans had to lead the mules down that night. Even the Americans were reluctant to unlash and lift off the bodies at the bottom, so an officer had to do it himself, and ask others to help.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The first one came early in the morning. They slid him down from the mule and stood him on his feet for a moment, while they got a new grip. In the half light he might have been merely a sick man standing there, leaning on the others. Then they laid him on the ground in the shadow of the low stone wall alongside the road.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I don’t know who that first one was. You feel small in the presence of dead men, and ashamed at being alive, and you don’t ask silly questions.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We left him there beside the road, that first one, and we all went back into the cowshed and sat on water cans or lay on the straw, waiting for the next batch of mules.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Somebody said the dead soldier had been dead for four days, and then nobody said anything more about it. We talked soldier talk for an hour or more. The dead man lay all alone outside in the shadow of the low stone wall.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Then a soldier came into the cowshed and said there were some more bodies outside. We went out into the road. Four mules stood there, in the moonlight, in the road where the trail came down off the mountain. The soldiers who led them stood there waiting. "This one is Captain Waskow," one of them said quietly.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Two men unlashed his body from the mule and lifted it off and laid it in the shadow beside the low stone wall. Other men took the other bodies off. Finally there were five lying end to end in a long row, alongside the road. You don’t cover up dead men in the combat zone. They just lie there in the shadows until somebody else comes after them.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The unburdened mules moved off to their olive orchard. The men in the road seemed reluctant to leave. They stood around, and gradually one by one I could sense them moving close to Capt. Waskow’s body. Not so much to look, I think, as to say something in finality to him, and to themselves. I stood close by and I could hear.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">One soldier came and looked down, and he said out loud, "God damn it." That’s all he said, and then he walked away. Another one came. He said, "God damn it to hell anyway." He looked down for a few last moments, and then he turned and left.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Another man came; I think he was an officer. It was hard to tell officers from men in the half light, for all were bearded and grimy dirty. The man looked down into the dead captain’s face, and then he spoke directly to him, as though he were alive. He said: "I’m sorry, old man."</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Then a soldier came and stood beside the officer, and bent over, and he too spoke to his dead captain, not in a whisper but awfully tenderly, and he said:</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">"I sure am sorry, sir."</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Then the first man squatted down, and he reached down and took the dead hand, and he sat there for a full five minutes, holding the dead hand in his own and looking intently into the dead face, and he never uttered a sound all the time he sat there.</span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And finally he put the hand down, and then reached up and gently straightened the points of the captain’s shirt collar, and then he sort of rearranged the tattered edges of his uniform around the wound. And then he got up and walked away down the road in the moonlight, all alone.</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">After that the rest of us went back into the cowshed, leaving the five dead men lying in a line, end to end, in the shadow of the low stone wall. We lay down on the straw in the cowshed, and pretty soon we were all asleep.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-37035549416435320922024-01-27T12:44:00.010-05:002024-01-27T16:17:13.051-05:00A bargain cruise with nothing to see but the sea<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXJHFVdmH9aAZeLwpLUDMV-iL4BiHPDHav0V8D8qrM_gwVv_4G8-1SWMDBn07aX0tPhIwiSgvC4uF38L8rTt89AcJtLB5YVdmZL4HtccL0_OeMRepIA5mlPp7KYzW5L4DFMFR2xBGhJK_vB4TzK68E2mPX1sOMiAk5ENPgs-8WMzIyRbQS7BQMKBMLY4/s288/download.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="288" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsXJHFVdmH9aAZeLwpLUDMV-iL4BiHPDHav0V8D8qrM_gwVv_4G8-1SWMDBn07aX0tPhIwiSgvC4uF38L8rTt89AcJtLB5YVdmZL4HtccL0_OeMRepIA5mlPp7KYzW5L4DFMFR2xBGhJK_vB4TzK68E2mPX1sOMiAk5ENPgs-8WMzIyRbQS7BQMKBMLY4/s1600/download.jpg" width="288" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;">Azamara Onward</span></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-family: times;">Maybe I should change my name to Tom Triton. <span class="Apple-converted-space">It (sort of) rhymes with Dryden. And </span></span></i><i style="font-family: times;">Triton, in Greek mythology, was King of the Seas. </i></span></p><p><i style="font-family: times;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That’s me.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: times; font-kerning: none; font-size: medium;"><i>Between November 18 and January 20, I spent 28 days on cruise ships. The first was a 12-day cruise from Lisbon to Ft Lauderdale. The second was a 16-day voyage from Buenos Aires to central Chile via Antarctica. </i></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i></i></span><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: times; font-kerning: none; font-size: medium;"><i>Halfway through the first cruise, I received an email from longtime friend, Carolyn Worthington, publisher of "Healthy Aging" magazine. I replied we were on a repositioning cruise aboard a top-shelf cruise line, and that it was everything we hoped it would be, and more, at an incredible price to boot. She invited me to write an article explaining the benefits of a repositioning cruise for the January issue of her magazine and, when I got home, I did (see below).</i></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i></i></span><br /></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: times; font-kerning: none; font-size: medium;"><i>What’s a repositioning cruise? Read this and you’ll find out and learn how you can enjoy a lengthy, luxurious and leisurely sea voyage for as little as (hold on to your hats) $50 a day. That’s cheaper than staying at home (unless, of course, you are incarcerated but it's a safe bet nobody's leaving chocolates on your pillow at night). </i></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: times; font-kerning: none; font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: times; font-kerning: none; font-size: medium;"><i>Enjoy. </i></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Calibri; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Imagine you are a contestant on America’s longest-running game show as the announcer describes the grand prize on which you are about to bid. “Today’s showcase is … <i>a transatlantic cruise</i>!”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>(Oohs, aahs and applause from the audience.)</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">“That’s right, you and a guest will enjoy a 12-day cruise from Lisbon, Portugal, to Florida aboard a super-luxury ocean liner. Your cruise will include a balcony cabin with twice-daily maid service; three gourmet meals each and every day; unlimited Champagne, wine, cocktails and beer; daily trivia and bridge games; fascinating lectures; afternoon cocktail hours featuring exquisite tapas; a fully equipped fitness center; nightly entertainment; and two days in beautiful Bermuda. All this can be yours (more oohs and aahs) if …. the Price is You-Know-What.” (Applause.)</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>What would you bid? Fifteen thousand? Ten thousand?</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">If so, you would hear the dreaded buzzer indicating you overbid.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">The correct bid?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>A mere $3,200, which comes out to $133.33 per person, per day, not counting airfare. That’s the price my wife and I paid for the above cruise aboard the Azamara Onward in November. The fare even included staff gratuities, and our travel agent graciously threw in a $300 credit to spend onboard. That’s an incredible value considering that a 12-day Mediterranean cruise in October 2024, on the same ship in the same room, is listed on <a href="http://vacationstogo.com"><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;">vacationstogo.com</span></a> for $10,320 — $430 per person per day.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">It’s no easy feat these days to find a room in a Motel 6 and three fast food meals for $133 per person, so how did we land such a bargain?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">We booked a <i>repositioning </i>cruise.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Twice yearly, the major cruise lines — including MSC, Carnival, Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, Princess, Holland-America, Celebrity, Virgin, Disney, Azamara, Oceania, Regent and Silversea— reposition their ships.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">In the fall, liners that spent the summer calling on European ports are redeployed across the pond to Florida, where they will spend the winter season visiting Caribbean islands, Mexico and Latin America.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">The ships generally take 12 to 14 days to cross the Atlantic. Most depart from Barcelona, Rome or Lisbon.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>En route, one or two stops are made in islands like the Canaries, Madeira, Azores, Bermuda or Puerto Rico.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">In the spring, the ships return to Europe, making the same stops along the way.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Because they know most passengers prefer cruises that stop at a different port every day, cruise companies offer steep discounts to entice travelers onto repositioning cruises. And since they don’t have to pay to dock their ships in different ports every day, the cruises cost them less to operate than standard cruises.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Repositioning cruises are a win-win for the cruise companies, and for travelers who prefer days at sea where they don’t have to rush off the ship every morning and be herded onto buses that take them on excursions to visit yet another rum distillery, beach, museum or cathedral. Because there’s nothing to see but the sea, you can’t help but relax. There’s no rush. Nothing frenetic about it. If you’re one of those people who has to be on the move at all times, you can always take advantage of the walking track or head to the fitness center.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Repositioning cruises are targeted toward a specific demographic — retirees who love the days at sea and have the time to cross the ocean at a leisurely pace — so the sailings rarely sell out. Our ship, which can accommodate 680</span><span class="s3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(230, 0, 14); color: #e6000e; font-kerning: none;"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">passengers, had just 429 passengers. Ninety percent appeared to be least 65 or older. Many told me they were on their tenth, twentieth or, in the case of an Australian woman, forty-third repositioning cruise.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">During the day, the pool deck was mercifully free of annoyances found on mass-market cruises, e.g. screaming children, wet t-shirt contests, and music blasting from giant speakers, making it easy to concentrate on a good book, converse with new friends, or enjoy a snooze in the late autumn sun.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Fellow passengers who have taken multiple repositioning cruises told me that the weather can vary wildly. Cruises in October or May generally encounter highs in the mid-seventies. Cruises in November or April average ten or so degrees cooler. The key is to pack clothes you can layer and shed or don as the weather dictates.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Is a repositioning cruise for you? If your idea of a perfect vacation is outdoor sports, a tropical beach, or sightseeing, the answer is probably no, you won’t enjoy it. If you prefer vacations that give you free time, you love being catered to 24/7, and can view the ship rather than a different port every day as your primary source of entertainment, you probably will.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">How much can you expect to pay? It depends on the cruise line, the level of service it offers (not all include free booze and gratuities as ours did), and the room category you book. As I’m writing this in mid-December, 2023, Vacations To Go, the company though which we booked our cruise, is featuring on its web site more than 30 repositioning cruises in October/ November from Europe to Florida.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Starting prices (per person, double occupancy) range from as little as $529 for an inside cabin on Royal Caribbean — less than $50 per person, per day — to $370 a day for a suite on Silversea, one of the world’s priciest lines, favored by travelers who demand nothing but the best. Airfare to/from port cities isn’t included.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">If you like to plan ahead and want to lock in your price on a specific cruise, book now but be forewarned:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>You just may bag a better deal if you are willing to wait until a month or so before departure because some lines drop their prices even more.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Whatever you choose, bon voyage.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">You just may run into me, because I’m getting ready to book another one.</span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-10661453382734956752024-01-17T21:46:00.006-05:002024-01-17T22:01:07.985-05:00A moment like this<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Fafi6wl9ESB1Zb5Hr4dQ01hD3rzMTzhETl2Hh2mt_g25wzaJpd4Ho7fpAHSeCSVtqNEe0BTqTVLdNsdMvzF7vJfuDhKcdjtmSEH9BlxIRwcNYuOPicHpf1jXJ2aa1HtNBobfpSarYowUUvOWGr7frF2QUeHmML2n9jXS_klOhmlR3pf8mhl4AvEVPRc/s259/download.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Fafi6wl9ESB1Zb5Hr4dQ01hD3rzMTzhETl2Hh2mt_g25wzaJpd4Ho7fpAHSeCSVtqNEe0BTqTVLdNsdMvzF7vJfuDhKcdjtmSEH9BlxIRwcNYuOPicHpf1jXJ2aa1HtNBobfpSarYowUUvOWGr7frF2QUeHmML2n9jXS_klOhmlR3pf8mhl4AvEVPRc/s1600/download.jpg" width="259" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My first visit to Chile was in September, 2002. I spent several days in Santiago, then flew 600 miles south to Puerto Montt, considered to be the northernmost outpost of Patagonia. While I would have loved to continue deeper into Patagonia which extends southward for another 1200 miles, I didn't have the time, so I rented a car and drove to Puerto Varas, a resort town on Lago Llanquihue, Chile's second-largest lake. Across the lake is a snow-capped volcano, Osorno. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I got to my hotel on the lake in late afternoon and went to the bar for a drink and to drink in scenery so breathtaking I wanted to commit it to memory. Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This,” the song that had made her the first American Idol just a week or two before, was playing in the background. I found it odd that a song from an American tv show that had just been released was already a hit in Chile. To this day, whenever it comes on the radio, I’m transported back to Puerto Varas, the stunning scenery, and that sublime moment.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Today is the second day of my second visit to Chile, day 13 </span>of a 16-day cruise from Buenos Aires to the Falklands to Antarctica to Tierra del Fuego at the tip of South America, and up the Pacific coast to San Antonio, Chile. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The ship left Punta Arenas, Chile, in Tierra del Fuego yesterday afternoon and this morning emerged from the Straits of Magellan into the Pacific where the sailing was anything but smooth — the ship was bouncing up and down, shuddering at times.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Mid-morning, the captain announced that, because the water was so rough, he was going to steer the ship into the Patagonian Archipeligo, a series of channel islands that form a barrier between the Pacific and the Chilean coast. He said the diversion from our intended route would not only provide a smoother ride, it would give guests the opportunity to see Chile’s world-famous fjords.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It was a bonus I didn’t expect, the cherry on top of the sundae of a trip that has far exceeded my expectations.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I spent the afternoon on the top deck, awe-struck by ice-blue glaciers, rocky islands, endless forests and snow-capped Andes peaks. There wasn't a sign of human life -- no people, no boats, no roads, no trails, not even a fishing cabin -- for 10 hours. This part of Patagonia is not only uninhabited, it is absolutely pristine.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Though it’s summer, it’s cold in southern Chile — I wore my parka the whole time — so after a couple of hours I stepped into the cafe on the 14th deck for a cup of coffee, which I enjoyed as I continued looking out the window as some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen passed by.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">In the background, “A Moment Like This” started playing over the cafe's speakers.</p><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Lucky me, I've gotten to experience it twice. </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-3885967400254607492024-01-16T14:44:00.014-05:002024-01-26T22:55:14.497-05:00Why Antarctica? Because it's there. <p> </p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtgcIXa33JkpXuOhUhoF5YHpJXdRhVCatWHv3VKFsIvffpdCe9PBB7M_BWOd-guEBlG7pXnosFD0oHld8M_6LHTvzdFw7SGPwI-ITHe9CjLRRFVi99nANdaXzX3g-bGSNCMLLcxWUAuxTIXnmqKhUcjlLGHYNEre4_UxVqZWE-Ch-I5ApCGQR4qrJ9Erw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgtgcIXa33JkpXuOhUhoF5YHpJXdRhVCatWHv3VKFsIvffpdCe9PBB7M_BWOd-guEBlG7pXnosFD0oHld8M_6LHTvzdFw7SGPwI-ITHe9CjLRRFVi99nANdaXzX3g-bGSNCMLLcxWUAuxTIXnmqKhUcjlLGHYNEre4_UxVqZWE-Ch-I5ApCGQR4qrJ9Erw" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;">In 1911, British explorer Robert Falcon Scott, attempting to become the first man to reach the South Pole, sailed with four men aboard the <i>Terra Nova </i>to Antarctica. After trekking halfway across the white continent and reaching the pole, Scott discovered a Norwegian flag had been planted upon it 33 days earlier by his arch-rival, Roald Amundsen. On the way back to their ship, Scott and his men perished from starvation and cold.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;">In 1915, explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton’s ship, the <i>Endurance</i>, became trapped in Antarctic pack ice and sank, forcing him and his men to camp on ice floes. Once those melted, they were able to row lifeboats to Elephant Island where they survived on a diet of penguins. Knowing his crew faced certain death during the upcoming winter, Shackleton rowed a 20-foot boat 830 miles to South Georgia Island, whose mountains he had to cross, and, amazingly, found help who returned and rescued his men.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">On January 4,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>2024, I boarded a Princess cruise ship to Antarctica. One morning, I was annoyed to discover the buffet had run out of apricot jam leaving me no choice but to slather my croissant with strawberry jam or orange marmalade, neither of which I am particularly fond.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Great achievement always requires great sacrifice.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I’m on Day 12 of a 16-day cruise to Antarctica. I arrived in Buenos Aires Jan. 3; boarded the 16-story Sapphire Princess the next day; spent Jan. 5 in Montevideo, Uruguay; then sailed two days to Stanley in the Falkland Islands where I spent a day on a windswept beach observing a colony of penguins. That was followed by a day-and-a-half sail to Shackleton’s Elephant Island, about 150 miles north of the Antarctic peninsula.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">That afternoon, the captain sailed 100 miles out of his way to take his 2492 passengers within a few hundred feet of the A23a, the world’s largest iceberg. One thousand feet thick, it is, at 1500 square miles, roughly 30 percent the size of Connecticut. (Having survived 30 winters in that God-forsaken place, I’m here to tell you Connecticut can be colder in October than the A23a the day I visited it.) The A23a broke off from the continent in 1986, promptly sunk to the sea floor, and didn’t rise until a few years ago, when it suddenly bobbed up like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction’s bathtub scene and began drifting north parallel to the Antarctic peninsula.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> A</span>t some point it will move into the south Atlantic and melt.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Over the next three-and-a-half days, as the Sapphire sailed along the Antarctic coast, in and out of bays dotted with baby blue icebergs calved from glaciers, I saw thousands of penguins, countless whales (both blue and orca), seals, sea birds, towering white mountains and, happily, the reappearance of apricot jam the day after I assumed that, like Scott and his men, it was gone forever.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">On Saturday, Jan. 14, the captain headed the ship north across the Drake Passage, and the next evening sailed past Cape Horn at the tip of South America. Yesterday the Sapphire docked at Ushuaia, Argentina, the world’s southernmost city (Puerto Williams, Chile, is a few miles farther south but with only two thousand inhabitants, it’s not technically a city), and today we are anchored just off Punta Arenas, Chile. Every day since we left Antarctica has been grayer, rainier and/or snowier and foggier than the day before but I didn’t come down here to get a tan— I get all the sun I need in Florida —<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>so the nasty weather is not only to be expected but enjoyable.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Four days from now the Sapphire will dock in San Antonio, Chile, and I’ll fly home that night.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Why did I trek 8000 miles to the only continent that has no permanent inhabitants, no cultural activities, no restaurants and — horrors — not even a Disney theme park?</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As George Mallory replied in 1924 to a reporter who asked why he wanted to be the first man to scale Mt. Everest: Because it’s there. (Like Scott, his quest ended in tragedy. It wasn’t until 1953 that Everest was conquered.)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I’ve visited the other six continents. Antarctica presumably, will be my last unless some smart-ass explorer discovers another one that’s been hidden away all these years, by which time I may be too old to travel to it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Plus, for as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated by the thought of a pristine frozen continent twice the size of Australia that, until the 1700s, nobody had any idea existed.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My mom’s aunt Grace, a teacher who died in the early 1960s, left behind a collection of every National Geographic magazine published between 1917 and her death. Mom, who couldn’t bear to throw them away, brought them home and stashed them in our basement. By the time I was a teenager, I had read them all, cover to cover, and was particularly intrigued with Antarctica and have yearned to see it ever since.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">For years I’ve been begging my wife to join me on a trip, and I was starting to think I was finally winning her over until a year ago when a rogue wave in the treacherous Drake passage struck a cruise ship and washed a passenger relaxing in her stateroom out to sea. That did it for her but, to her credit, when I found a great deal in the late fall on a solo cabin, she told me to book it. So I did. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Having spent four days sailing through the Antarctic peninsula and surrounding islands, I’m more intrigued than ever. It is — this is the only word for it and it’s inadequate — awesome, beyond anything I could imagine. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There are two ways civilians can experience the continent:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">1. By a small expedition ship specially built to withstand the climatic challenges of the Antarctic. The expedition ships drop anchor just off the coast and shuttle passengers via zodiac boats to the shore, where they can walk among penguins and seals and in some cases, even camp out with them. A lovely idea but not one that appeals to this thin-blooded Floridian who dons a polar-tek whenever the temperature dips below 70.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">2. By a conventional cruise ship. Princess, Celebrity, Holland-America and several other lines offer “sail-by” cruises that pass within a few hundred feet of the shore as passengers stand on deck snapping pictures and watching wildlife through binoculars.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The cost difference for an expedition versus a sail-by? An expedition cruise can easily cost five, ten, even twenty times as much as a sail-by of comparable length.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And while it would add another notch to my travel belt to say I put my boots to the ground on the continent, I spent more than 72 hours within a few hundred feet of it and saw everything I came to see, and more, from the upper decks of the ship. One day, I was so mesmerized by the scenery I stayed up there for 12 hours, ducking inside only for hot coffee or tea and fresh baked cookies.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Even though it’s summer in Antarctica and the sun never fully sets, it was cold as all get-out, but I came well prepared with a new puff jacket, gloves, battery-powered hand-warmers, waterproof boots, insulated socks, long johns (not easy to find in Florida, believe me), thermal sweaters and a leather flight cap with ear flaps and a chin strap that makes me look like a crazed kamikaze pilot.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It can be a bit lonely, even though I’m surrounded by fellow passengers representing more than 40 countries from the other six continents. If I’m feeling sociable, I can share a communal table in one of the five formal dining rooms, go to the casino (which to my regret I did one night), play trivia, workout in the gym, attend a stage show, or grab a stool at one of the dozen or so bars scattered across the ship. When I want to be alone, I can eat at a single table in the buffet, or retreat to my stateroom and watch a movie and/or write a blog post.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The bottom of the world isn’t exactly the kind of place one goes to be social and, truthfully, I am enjoying the solitude, generally preferring my own company, doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And with that, I’m going to wind this up so I can be on the top deck as the ship sails out of Punta Arenas in a few minutes. Looking out my stateroom window, I see the fog has lifted and there are, I’m told, snow-capped Andes peaks and glaciers to see as we head out into the Pacific for the long trek up the Chilean coast.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But before I do, I’d like to give a shout-out to my great aunt, Grace Matilda Tate.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The farthest you ever traveled from Montgomery County, Missouri, was to the teachers college in Kirksville, Mo., where you earned your teaching degree sometime around 1915, but you clearly knew there was a big world out there, a world you’d never see, so you subscribed to National Geographic.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You couldn’t have known that if you had bequeathed me a million dollars, you couldn’t have left anything that would have done more to nourish my young soul than those musty stacks of black and white magazines I spent hours pouring over, dreaming about a world I hoped would someday be mine.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 21px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(44, 44, 44); background-color: white; color: #2c2c2c; font-family: Georgia; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And it has been.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-54071823093015484272023-12-20T14:25:00.002-05:002023-12-20T15:27:14.024-05:00The best Christmas gift ever<p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: large; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZuLdRlg9uDMJbN-Hppbwb12hpHMkIAF2RSfPWAqQnCgAVZOn9ArgKWFxZ5N6fyPP4wpWizCGxY05mb23Fe9z2GDqNOtBomqCyttC7xOlfvLrs_Jg7fai4_42ztQVkJAxBt8zRZmVnWdeAUnsqd2yj231cWt6hV0xKaB0DcMVmtZKF6BuonXo2L0gLa0/s640/0.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUZuLdRlg9uDMJbN-Hppbwb12hpHMkIAF2RSfPWAqQnCgAVZOn9ArgKWFxZ5N6fyPP4wpWizCGxY05mb23Fe9z2GDqNOtBomqCyttC7xOlfvLrs_Jg7fai4_42ztQVkJAxBt8zRZmVnWdeAUnsqd2yj231cWt6hV0xKaB0DcMVmtZKF6BuonXo2L0gLa0/s320/0.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Four years ago tomorrow: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Russell in the Christmas scarf </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">he wore home from the shelter.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><span style="font-size: large; text-align: left;"> </span></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I couldn't imagine that any Christmas gift could possibly be better than the Lionel train set Santa brought when I was five. I was wrong.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The best Christmas gift I ever got arrived December 21, 2019 -- four years ago tomorrow -- when we adopted our Jack Russell terrier, Russell, from the shelter in which he had been dumped.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">According to the input form filled out by his previous owner, Russell was born in March, 2016. He was being surrendered because he “barks constantly” and didn’t get along with the Labrador puppy that had recently joined the household. The owner noted that Russell had been given to him or her by a neighbor who couldn’t deal with his high energy, that he is terrified of thunderstorms and fireworks, and that he loves riding in the car.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">That </span><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none; text-decoration-line: line-through;">asshole’s</span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"> owner’s trash is our treasure.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">On our first date nearly 50 years ago, Judy and I discovered we have a mutual love for dogs. I wouldn’t have gone on a second date if she had said she didn’t like them, and I don’t think she would have if I had. Since then, we have always had two, sometimes three, dogs at a time. Most have been dachshunds, a neurotic wiener-shaped Germanic breed which, for some strange reason, we find endearing.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Dachshunds<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— at least the six we’ve had — are one-person dogs. That person, in our household, has never been me. All have been madly devoted to Judy. Our current doxie, Rupert — we call him Dupe —won’t even allow me to touch him; he runs to his mama to save him from the mean man. He only has eyes for her and I can’t help but love him for having the sense to know which of us is the better person though, I must admit, his ridiculous reaction sometimes hurts my feelings.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We lost our last two doxies within a year of each other. Bonnie,16, died in 2017. As always whenever we lose a dog, our hearts were broken but, as we always did, within a couple of months we went out and adopted another, Dupe. But Billy Ray’s death in 2018, a month shy of his 15th birthday, shattered our hearts into millions of shards. Though he was easily the dumbest, most stubborn and untrainable of all our dogs, Billy had a personality as big as Montana and left a void we thought could never be filled. We decided that, for the first time, ours was going to be a one-dog household.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That changed early the morning of December 21, 2019, when I found Russell on <a href="http://petfinder.com"><span class="s3" style="font-kerning: none;">petfinder.com</span></a>, a Purina-funded website that features thousands of pets available for adoption from animal shelters and rescue organizations nationwide. I entered “Dachshund” into the search bar. Russell's picture appeared, and he was described as a “Dachshund/Jack Russell mix.” He was at a shelter seventy miles away and was going to be available for adoption at 9 a.m.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I woke up Judy, showed her the listing and, within minutes, we and Dupe were barreling north on I-75. We arrived just as the shelter was opening. Three other wanna-be adopters showed up to see him moments later, but we had first dibs.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">We weren’t allowed to bring Dupe into the building so Judy stayed outside with him while I waited in a room to meet Russell who, when he entered, circled me repeatedly, like Indians surrounding a wagon train. When I picked him up, he gave me a kiss. I said “Sold” to the attendant and went outside to be with Dupe who, as usual, stayed as far away from me as possible, while Judy went in to meet him. Within minutes we were filling out the adoption paperwork as others who had come to see him asked if we were 100 percent sure of our decision. One couple begged us to reconsider and let them have him.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As we headed to the parking lot with our new family member who had been sent off by the staff wearing a festive Christmas scarf, Judy announced, “His name is Russell.” Perfect.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">That was a Saturday. On Monday, I took him to our veterinarian to be checked over. “He’s no more dachshund than you are,” the vet said. “He’s 100 percent Jack Russell.” We have since learned he’s a shorty Jack Russell, a version about two-thirds the size of a standard JRT.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Russell was housebroken from day one. And he made himself at home immediately, exploring every inch of the house to stake out the one spot he could call his own — our new white sofa. The first night, we made a bed for him beside ours. He looked at us as if we were out of our minds. He leapt up on our poster bed<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— something no dachshund has ever been able to do — burrowed under the covers, and has slept between us every night since. Some nights he snuggles against Judy, other nights against me. Once he’s down, he doesn’t move until morning until we begin to stir. </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What do I love most about Russell?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Everything. I love his short white coat with the caramel-colored polka dots. I love watching him snooze, curled up on the sofa atop the microfiber pillow I bought for him at Big Lots. I love the way he dances for his breakfast and supper. I love how he rolls over and lets me scratch his belly as he purrs like a cat. I love the way he cocks his head when asked a question, as if pondering his answer, which is always “yes." Russell, do you want to go for a walk? Hooray, let’s go! Russell, do you want to go in the car? Absolutely! Russell, are you ready for dinner? Sure! Russell, would you like a treat? Of course!</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Most of all, I love how happy he is and how he spreads his happiness around. Despite having been given away at least twice —the last time by someone who was his everything who loaded him into the car he loved to ride in, then drove him to a shelter —Russell is always happy. He loves people and, inexplicably considering his history of being betrayed by them, trusts them. A human who had been treated the way Russell was would never be able to trust again. A dog can. Yet one more reason I prefer dogs to people.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Every morning Russell and I take a two-mile walk to the tennis center. Everyone along the route knows him and he greets them, his bobbed tail wagging a mile a minute. Many squat down to pet him and he aways gives them kisses. I can’t tell you how many people say, “He’s so happy that just seeing him makes me happy, too.” Russell puts his admirers in good moods. They can’t help but pass some of that happiness on to others. He has nothing material to give them but what he does have is love and joy, the best gifts anyone can give.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I have been crazy about each of the dogs we’ve had over the last 48 years but my love for Russell is something special, one of the most profound joys of my life. He reminds me every day how grateful I am I got up early the morning of December 21, 2019, and, for some reason, logged on to petfinder.com. I wasn’t looking for a dog. We weren’t in the market for one, but something led me to that web site. Nobody will ever convince me we weren’t meant for each other. God just mistakenly sent him to two other homes before he wound up in ours.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">People who know Russell’s story say he’s lucky to have been adopted by people like us.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">But we’re the lucky ones, and we know it.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">From Russell’s home to yours, Merry Christmas and may lots of love and joy be yours over the coming year.</span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-51399971045124234842023-12-19T10:09:00.005-05:002023-12-19T12:47:28.063-05:00Rolling Stone Keith Richards' frugal (and gorgeous) wife<p><br /></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5meuJrWzP7wE4akOa6kxF_ixg_6ZBlab0pa6nC8D0Lrcx9r-UBzv9asTidZ9JgKg2dCrequQYK9rzyEsFWVz9HGbYRs448doY-AA1NeB9xRMI_LDRNSgIceo7rPos7OQvylK_YYOJazxZsbgmPbZqmGN0EAlZGCS_ehDOfyMKb1iCd1JcIU2unBVg45U" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="750" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5meuJrWzP7wE4akOa6kxF_ixg_6ZBlab0pa6nC8D0Lrcx9r-UBzv9asTidZ9JgKg2dCrequQYK9rzyEsFWVz9HGbYRs448doY-AA1NeB9xRMI_LDRNSgIceo7rPos7OQvylK_YYOJazxZsbgmPbZqmGN0EAlZGCS_ehDOfyMKb1iCd1JcIU2unBVg45U" width="320" /></a></div><br />I generally write one blog post a month and here I am, writing my second in 24 hours. <p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I read this morning that Rolling Stone Keith Richards, 80, and his wife, Patti Hansen, 67, are celebrating their 40th anniversary.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There’s little about Richards you don’t already know, but here’s a story I’ve always wanted to tell about Hansen.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We were living in Manhattan in the late 1970s, the heyday of designer jeans, when she, as they say, “burst upon the scene” as a model for Calvin Klein. Her image was everywhere<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— in tv commercials, and plastered on subway walls, on the sides of buses, at bus stop shelters, and on Times Square billboards. As a native New Yorker and one of the world’s best-known</span> models, she got lots of free PR in her hometown. Having grown up in working class Staten Island, Hansen had a strong accent identifiable to any New Yorker as unique to the city’s smallest and most remote borough, and she never tried to disguise it. Even then I sensed she was down to earth, unlike the other models who hung out at Studio 54 who came across as plastic, pretentious and vapid. Not to mention Hansen was (and she still is) gorgeous.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5akhpRbV_LjiEPqj77Zgs6Dz0ww0Ly00BmFGMQ-iLw4UQ1dnMYlzTwFVvE1LTgs7I30Mp4tQ1-SAbTFKk3yTeg2Sxwr895sh92g50C27ssrMNC4cf4-Qw12dz11UmCYcQIRm0fDuzEDpbeNRTWJKwPO9PM91L9ROhUskcjndzXj-5atX90cVnCQT2sWo/s800/patti-hansen-modeling-calvin-klein-jeans2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="800" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5akhpRbV_LjiEPqj77Zgs6Dz0ww0Ly00BmFGMQ-iLw4UQ1dnMYlzTwFVvE1LTgs7I30Mp4tQ1-SAbTFKk3yTeg2Sxwr895sh92g50C27ssrMNC4cf4-Qw12dz11UmCYcQIRm0fDuzEDpbeNRTWJKwPO9PM91L9ROhUskcjndzXj-5atX90cVnCQT2sWo/s320/patti-hansen-modeling-calvin-klein-jeans2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">She and Richards married in 1983, as her modeling fame (and the designer jeans craze) was waning. </span>They moved to Weston, Connecticut, half a mile from my house in neighboring Wilton, and raised two kids, who attended the public schools. They still live there.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">One day in the 1990s, I was browsing in a liquor store in Georgetown, an unincorporated area where the borders of four towns, including Wilton and Weston, come together. As I was looking around, I overheard a discussion between a clerk and a blonde with a Staten Island accent who, when I looked closer, was Hansen. She told him she was having a party and was looking for a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">He went to the shelf and got one. She asked the price, and when he told her, she replied, politely, she didn’t want to pay that much and asked if he had another Irish cream-based brand that cost less. He did — Carolans -- and the price difference, if I remember correctly, was something like $3.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>She bought a bottle of Carolans, thanked the clerk for his help, and left.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The clerk and I looked at each other and laughed. There she was, the wife of one of rock music’s biggest stars worth millions, quibbling over $3. Like the good Staten Island girl she was, she couldn’t bring herself to pay that much more, so she bought a cheaper knock-off brand.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The esteem I had always had for her rose even higher that day. She hadn’t let fame or money go to her head. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"> </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">If she and Richards are throwing a party to mark their anniversary. I hope she will give herself permission, just this once, to splurge on the good stuff, because 40 years is something worth celebrating.<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-74184904192321819522023-12-18T13:03:00.007-05:002023-12-18T22:12:57.619-05:00Today's question: "Are your genitals the ones you were born with?" <p><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhumlT8aFnT0KOuhNu-0SPgvCaz825UvbDK-L1SQU1NWej35qk2JrlMaOCk2HFw2Mf9rQV8OgjO9i7z1F8932xqP7o-2dQKHRaAme9T29M54gLt2OL1Tzs8BqCRrI9IwBBF06XBV-c8AmVf5HEWzDCUwbv9b9I5vXLkLvCVc77Ilm0VhwOjOnIurJs8DE0" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="266" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhumlT8aFnT0KOuhNu-0SPgvCaz825UvbDK-L1SQU1NWej35qk2JrlMaOCk2HFw2Mf9rQV8OgjO9i7z1F8932xqP7o-2dQKHRaAme9T29M54gLt2OL1Tzs8BqCRrI9IwBBF06XBV-c8AmVf5HEWzDCUwbv9b9I5vXLkLvCVc77Ilm0VhwOjOnIurJs8DE0=w164-h185" width="164" /></a></span></span></div><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br />Saturday night, my wife and I were watching the finale of <a href="https://acorn.tv/happyvalley">"Happy Valley"</a>. It's one of the best series on TV. If you haven't watched this brilliant English crime drama, I highly recommend it. Just be sure to turn on the closed captioning because the Yorkshire accents spoken by the characters are as unintelligible to Americans as Scottish. Or Swahili. But I digress.</span></span><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Suddenly, I felt a throbbing pain in my left shoulder. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>As everyone -- especially folks my age -- should, I've committed to memory the symptoms of a heart attack. A sudden pain in the chest and/or arms and/or shoulder is one of them. There were no other symptoms but the pain was intense, growing and scary. One minute I was fine. The next I was doubled over. A half-hour later, after Advil failed to relieve even an iota of the pain, I went to the ER. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>Five years ago, following a colonoscopy, I wrote a </span></span><a href="https://thomasdryden.blogspot.com/2019/02/the-colonoscopy.html">post</a> pointing out how ridiculous it is that medical workers are required to ask every surgical patient the same two questions. Every person I encountered that day (except my wife) asked me my name and birthdate. Apparently they thought either A) I was an idiot or B) I might be an imposter, posing as a patient who was scheduled to undergo the procedure that day so I gagged him and left him tied him up in a closet and showed up claiming to be him because I love having colonoscopies and all the attention I get.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I was informed it was a rule. They had to ask those questions of every patient.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>Saturday night, everyone at the ER -- the receptionist, the guy who walked me to the exam room, the nurse, attending physician, and radiology technician -- asked those same stupid questions. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">And as I was lying on a gurney with my shirt off, waiting for an EKG, the attending nurse asked another question. It's one I’ve never been asked and I bet you haven’t either: “Are your genitals the ones you were born with?”</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>I was gobsmacked. For starters, the question ended with a preposition. She should have known better. Secondly, my genitals were covered by my jeans and I can’t imagine I was giving off vibes that would have given her any reason to doubt I was an ordinary 72-year-old male with his original genitals; I had washed off my mascara and taken off my favorite leopard-print bra from Victoria's Secret before I left for the ER. Last but not least, I hadn’t come to the ER because I was having a problem with that part of my anatomy so what difference did it make if, in fact, mine weren't original? Asking a potential heart attack patient about his genitalia is as silly as asking a patient with a broken leg about his tonsils.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>“Why are you asking me this?”</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>She replied it’s a new rule, a question the hospital requires workers to ask every patient. Not wanting to delay the treatment I was sure I needed to survive, I answered “Yes” and, in retrospect, I’m almost sure I was right about that, but, to be honest, I don’t remember anything from the day I was born. A nurse at the hospital could have pulled a fast one and switched mine with some other newborn’s. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>I have since thought of all sorts of smart-ass answers I could have provided.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>“No, the ones I was born with were much smaller.”</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>“Last time I looked they were.”</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span>"No, I cut my originals off with a chainsaw while on an acid trip and the ones I have now are plastic."</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>“I’m not sure. You're the medical professional. Why don't you take a look and you tell me?"</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">After a thorough examination which, I couldn't help but note, excluded my genitals which may or may not be original, the doctor gave me a muscle relaxer and pain pill and ordered blood tests, X-rays and a CAT scan.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>When the results came back, I was greatly relieved to learn it wasn't a heart attack. It was a shoulder spasm. </span></span>The doc said ligaments had suddenly seized up and tightened around the muscles in my shoulder,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>like a noose around the neck of a criminal being hanged. The likely cause, he said, was arthritis, a condition I didn’t know I had. He asked if I had ever injured my shoulder or collarbone and said that, if so, that might be the cause of the arthritis. While i don’t remember the incident, my mother always told me that, back when my genitals were covered by a diaper, I broke my collarbone falling out of my high chair. Mystery solved.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>The doctor prescribed a week of steroids along with gentle stretching exercises and, three hours after I walked in sure I was about to die, I went home. </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>Although the shoulder still hurts, I am feeling much better, but now I am worried. I wish my mom or the doctor who delivered me were alive. If they were, one of them would have been able to provide a definitive answer to the question the nurse asked but neither are, so I guess I’ll never know for sure.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-1855097612677608742023-11-23T12:45:00.007-05:002023-11-29T11:39:22.895-05:00Happy Thanksgiving from Somewhere at Sea<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhnqtWQH0al43mtbQXAiQdlHuFl0T7DWDpi6Bs1Pc9Z-mFTZVPBJa67TiJ-Rt6oOTD2JuI_u5VcLTbAKItv34BAaov3I-2_9VsANUfSqKMhis_HoOHqV1kXSMjM3TQMTE03x-04tCp5vT8SuPzsouEoUzrVrMBWpcba4B1vAWiCURWUw2-BIVdo4CZZcfg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="182" data-original-width="277" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhnqtWQH0al43mtbQXAiQdlHuFl0T7DWDpi6Bs1Pc9Z-mFTZVPBJa67TiJ-Rt6oOTD2JuI_u5VcLTbAKItv34BAaov3I-2_9VsANUfSqKMhis_HoOHqV1kXSMjM3TQMTE03x-04tCp5vT8SuPzsouEoUzrVrMBWpcba4B1vAWiCURWUw2-BIVdo4CZZcfg" width="320" /></a></div> <p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">“The night we met I knew I was going to marry Serena,” our ruddy-nosed tablemate said, looking lovingly at the tiny woman seated between us as she guzzled the fifth flute of champagne she had ordered in the 10 minutes since we had been shown to their table. “But I wasn’t looking forward to going home and telling that to my wife.’</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My wife and I are on day five of a 12-day cruise from Lisbon to Florida.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Some of our friends think we’re crazy — they say they would lose their minds being confined to a ship that long — but on previous cruises, we’ve found we actually prefer the days “at sea” so here we are and so far, we’re having a swell time. Literally.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>The weather was perfect for the first four days but last night around dinnertime we entered choppy seas with swells of up to 15 feet, which are supposed to continue until tomorrow. Sunday morning we’ll dock in Bermuda for two days, then continue on to Ft. Lauderdale, arriving a week from today.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The food is excellent, plentiful and available around the clock. I woke up hungry at 2 a.m. the first night out— I was still on Florida time — and considered taking advantage of the 24-hour room service but didn’t want to wake up my wife.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There are, if we choose to avail ourselves of them, nonstop activities — multiple trivia games, “Name That Tune,” bridge, lectures, classes, bingo, mahjong, virtual golf, dance lessons and more. There is a nicely-equipped fitness center, a spa and a walking track around the top deck.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But the most entertaining part of this cruise, as is the case on every cruise we’ve taken — we aren’t sure if this is our seventh or eighth but it is most definitely the longest — is talking with our fellow passengers.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">To wit:</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">- The fashionably dressed seventy-ish woman from New Zealand who presides, from just after breakfast until at least 10 p.m. when the stage show ends, over the smoking section on deck nine near the pool where, every 15 minutes or so, an attendant, without asking, brings her a cold bottle of Stella. All the crew members seem to know her. Why she feels compelled to spend money on cruises when she could stay home and drink and smoke herself to death is beyond me, but she is an endless source of information about the crew and who’s doing what with whom. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">- The female half of a couple we met at Trivia who said she owes her life to Evita Peron. Her parents, who fled the Nazis, had settled in Peru where, in the late 1940s, the medical facilities were primitive. A Peruvian doctor told her pregnant mother he could either save her life but her baby would die, or vice versa, but no way he could save both. Our friend's grandmother, who had moved to Argentina, sent a letter to Evita, wife of the country’s president, begging her to arrange for her daughter to have the baby in an Argentine hospital where both would have better chances of survival. Evita took care of everything, and both the mother and baby<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>survived. Today, oddly enough, we attended a lecture on Broadway musicals of the 1970s and the presenter described “Evita” as the story of a despicable woman. Our new friend could have set him straight.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">. Last night we were seated at a table for six with two other couples, including the aforementioned Robert and Serena. Before she became incoherent, Serena told me they spend four or five months a year cruising. They have earned diamond status in the cruise line’s loyalty program (excuse me, programme, they’re Canadian) which means they can book a regular cabin and, if one is available, get upgraded to a suite. Serena, we couldn’t help but note, clearly loves to drink, as does Robert but he holds his liquor better. Perhaps that’s why they are loyal to this particular cruise line — the drinks are included in the fare. They have been together for 47 years, same as us.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Robert said he was married with three children the night he met Serena. He went home and told his wife he was leaving her for his new love. The divorce was ugly and protracted. A few months after it was finalized, his ex-wife married his stepfather. And when Robert’s stepfather and ex-wife, now his step mother-in-law, had children of their own, those children became not only their half-siblings but half-uncles and -aunts of Robert’s children.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">“When my kids had to draw their family trees in school, it was really fucked up,” he said.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Serena, as this story was unfolding, switched to Chardonnay and finally told the waiter to leave the bottle on the table which is against policy but, since he was having to refill her glass every two minutes, he didn’t object. By the time dessert had arrived, she had ordered two glasses of port. When we saw them at the stage show after dinner, she had returned to champagne.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">At lunch today we ran into to the other couple who had been at our table. They told us that after the stage show, Serena had tumbled down the grand staircase between the fifth floor and lobby, and had to be taken to the infirmary on the third floor where, amazingly, it was discovered she hadn’t broken any bones. All she had were a few bumps, bruises and scratches.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">At that point Serena and Robert hurried past and waved at us with their free hands. His other hand was holding a glass of red wine, hers held a tall glass with a wedge of pineapple and a tropical umbrella on top. We laughed and joked that perhaps they were going to the Friends of Bill W meeting — cruise lines always list a “Bill W” meeting on the daily schedule rather than call it what it actually is, an “AA”meeting<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>—<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>but we somehow doubted it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When we saw Robert and Serena later at Trivia they said they had been at a Blind Wine Tasting event which was a lot of fun and it’s too bad we hadn’t joined them.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">A week to go. More people to meet. More stories. We’re having fun, and looking forward to our first Thanksgiving dinner at sea tonight, followed by a performance by an Irish magician. At his first show three nights ago, he picked me out of the audience to be his on-stage assistant and the butt of his jokes, but I didn’t mind.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">This time we’ll know better than to sit on the front row.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-18731033693711223832023-11-14T18:34:00.004-05:002023-12-03T09:31:13.817-05:00The story behind the story of "The Boy Who Said Baa"<p><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman";"></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQRbbAHJXw5DGSPEB_67YNsR3OflCPIY1WtCOy3a5c6m1Zo91Hnw3nQGq9lT7gRENOH6C2wCpIctyQgyVMoffVZo1bkldvKQ3Z2pt10IIOnJ9XBfd-k3WdnPUwKCEh9Vcb8Zfib59Xl7TGG8_UFem90-fMHv25nm0PcPyxyz_B0I7IE6WVi06vWjwaNbM/s2194/3d-cover-mockup.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1796" data-original-width="2194" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQRbbAHJXw5DGSPEB_67YNsR3OflCPIY1WtCOy3a5c6m1Zo91Hnw3nQGq9lT7gRENOH6C2wCpIctyQgyVMoffVZo1bkldvKQ3Z2pt10IIOnJ9XBfd-k3WdnPUwKCEh9Vcb8Zfib59Xl7TGG8_UFem90-fMHv25nm0PcPyxyz_B0I7IE6WVi06vWjwaNbM/s320/3d-cover-mockup.jpeg" width="320" /></a></i></div><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /><i style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">My wife Judy’s children’s book, “The Boy Who Said Baa:</i>A Christmas Story” was announced in early October. We hadn’t told friends and family members it was in the works because we wanted it to be a surprise. The response has been terrific, and Judy and her book have received some wonderful publicity and reviews. Many of you have asked why and how it was written, and how it came together. If you are interested, here’s the story behind the story.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i><p></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As Christmas 1988 approached, Judy and I were worried.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Our first son, Ben, who was five, had been speaking in full sentences by the time he was 12 months old.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But our second son, Stuart, at 30 months, had a vocabulary of only a few words. One was “Baa,” the word he, like so many babies learning to talk, had originally used when he wanted his bottle and was now using to describe almost everything. It didn’t help that his older brother was extremely verbose and, whenever Stuart tried to talk, Ben told us whatever he thought it was that Stuart wanted to say.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Our pediatrician referred us to a speech therapist who assured us that Stuart was perfectly healthy and normal except for his delayed speech. She said that, with therapy, he would most likely be fine. That was a relief but we remained worried.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Stuart’s inability to articulate what he wanted to say was frustrating for him and us. The result was frequent meltdowns that left him in tears and us on the edge.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">A few weeks before Christmas, Ben appeared in a Nativity play in which a fellow shepherd hilariously tripped on his flowing robe and fell flat on his face. The next morning, Stuart was in full meltdown mode as I left for work. Judy says I wearily joked, “There once was a boy who could only say ‘Baa.’”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I don’t recall saying that — but do remember I was always grateful to escape the chaos and felt both guilty and relieved leaving her to deal with it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Judy sat down at the kitchen table and wrote, in rhyming verse, a story that began, “There once was a boy who could only say ‘Baa’ “ about a speech-delayed little boy with a one-word vocabulary who saves a Nativity play gone awry. She showed it to me when I got home —- I loved it — and stuck it in a drawer. Over the years I reminded her that she really should try and get it published, but she had higher priorities, including raising two boys and running a household while juggling freelance writing assignments.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Fast forward to early 2023 when the media started reporting that speech therapists are seeing a huge spike in the number of language-delayed children that need treatment. The reason for the increase? COVID-19. Because of the pandemic, kids who should have been learning verbal skills by interacting with other children and adults, were instead sequestered at home, unable to communicate with anyone other than their immediate family members, causing many of them to be slow to speak.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sensing the timing was right, Judy dug out her story and we began shopping for a literary agent specializing in the children’s picture book genre (ages 3 to 8). We were discouraged to learn that most agents stated in their profiles that they 1) were looking for books about social issues, 2) wouldn’t represent books about religion (even though “Baa" isn’t Christian per se, much of the action takes place during a — horrors! —<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Christmas pageant) and 3) wouldn’t even consider books written in rhyming verse. That was particularly baffling since Dr Seuss’ rhyming books, nearly 80 years after his first was published, are still at the top of the children’s best-seller list, and we knew, from having two sons and two grandchildren, that little kids love silly rhymes. After a few months of emails from agents saying her manuscript was beautifully written but not what they were looking for, we decided to publish the book ourselves, and created our own imprint, Old Wagon Books, named for the street we lived on when Stuart was a toddler.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We went online looking for children’s book illustrators and found the perfect one — Rosie Brooks, a London-based artist who has illustrated three previous children’s books including one celebrating King Charles’ coronation. It took six weeks of back and forth — Zoom calls and numerous emails — but the art was finally perfect. There were only a few hiccups along the way. Rosie, for instance drew the boy in his bedroom with a sink on the wall. Sinks are common in English bedrooms but not in American, so we asked her to lose the sink and she cheerfully complied. Rosie was lovely to work with — upbeat and happy. Her first name suits her perfectly.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Simultaneously, we started looking for a children’s book designer to combine Judy’s words and Rosie’s pictures and found him across the pond, too — in Wales. Ryan Webb was as helpful, talented, and accommodating as Rosie. How could anyone who creates children’s books for a living be anything but nice to work with?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The end-result exceeded our expectations. “The Boy Who Said Baa: A Christmas Story” is a 36-page Dr. Seuss-y silly, sweet and inspirational picture book about a child who is relegated to the unimportant role of a sheep in a Nativity play because the only word he can say is<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>(drumroll) …<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>“Baa.” Everything goes awry during the play. The only performance that comes off perfectly is the boy’s, whose “Baa” saves the day and reverberates around the world, bringing joy to all who hear it and giving him, for the first time, a sense of pride and self-worth. The words sing, the artwork is adorable (I hate that word but it’s appropriate in this case) — colorful and hilarious, tinged with poignancy on the part of the speech-challenged boy, until his triumph at the end,</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The hard cover version is published by IngramSpark, a Tennessee-based on-demand printer that prints and drop ships books as they are ordered, eliminating the need to produce and warehouse copies we might be stuck with if they don’t sell. The paperback and Kindle versions are produced by Amazon kdp (Kindle Direct Publishing). All three versions are available through <a href="http://amazon.com"><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;">amazon.com</span></a> and the hardcovers can be ordered from just about any bookseller worldwide. Someone in Australia ordered one and, thanks to digital technology which enabled the print-ready files to be sent from Wales to Florida to Tennessee to Australia, it was printed in, and shipped from, IngramSpark’s facility down under.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Will “The Boy Who Said Baa” become a best-selling kids’ book? As much as we hope it will, it probably won’t. With only a few exceptions (e.g. “Fifty Shades of Grey” which Baa most emphatically doesn’t resemble in any way), self-published books rarely reach the best-seller list. Traditional brick-and-mortar bookstores refuse to stock them (especially if they are produced by Amazon which they hate because it has pretty much put them out of business), and the New York-centric publishers, controlled by five major companies, retain a stranglehold on the industry, accepting scripts only from agents, most of whom have probably never read a kids’ storybook to an actual child — otherwise they would know little kids love stories that rhyme. Have none of them ever heard of Mother Goose? She has sold even more rhyming picture books than Seuss.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Achieving best-seller status in today’s book publishing world requires publicists to arrange for author appearances on talk shows, recommendations from Oprah, advertising, press events, and endorsements from social media influencers. The big publishers can afford those things, but we can’t. (Oprah, are you by chance reading this? Would you like a copy?) It also helps your children’s book become a best-seller if you’re a celebrity or related to one. Recent kid’s best-sellers include books by Hoda Kobh, Jimmy Fallon, Jenna and Barbara Bush, Matthew McConahay, Seth Meyers, Reese Witherspoon, Tim Tebow, Chelsea Clinton, and Meghan Markle. All are on display at my local Barnes & Noble. “Baa,” which is better-written and illustrated than any of them, isn’t and most likely never will be sold at B&N. Judy should have married a prince, been a president’s daughter or played football.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 1px; min-height: 15px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And if you’re wondering about Stuart? By the time he was five, thanks to two years of twice-weekly speech therapy sessions, his speech was age-appropriate. He’s 37 now, has multiple degrees, and is a bank executive. He turned out even better than we could have imagined.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p5" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">So did the book his worried young mother wrote to reassure herself her little boy would be okay.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-5317786413081190472023-09-30T22:21:00.006-04:002023-10-02T08:17:35.559-04:00God's Waiting Room: Washington, D.C.<p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijamC7YVzd_clUZBQIx2BHwyf_qXLLru2_P93Zk9nxXqfhnqJohxTaXPgCXptDaxko1K0B5yFBj8RTEhzaJhDkBQNECD4Gyw9-tXKLKHx5UTdDNKvsD7Ide_DhMgULTRrbCjzdV8LZU8mvQJfbLhvn1-4fJ0BPaC7j2cy-pZeTE_I3Y8aze_qwlw57Rw/s300/US_Capitol_west_side.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="155" data-original-width="300" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijamC7YVzd_clUZBQIx2BHwyf_qXLLru2_P93Zk9nxXqfhnqJohxTaXPgCXptDaxko1K0B5yFBj8RTEhzaJhDkBQNECD4Gyw9-tXKLKHx5UTdDNKvsD7Ide_DhMgULTRrbCjzdV8LZU8mvQJfbLhvn1-4fJ0BPaC7j2cy-pZeTE_I3Y8aze_qwlw57Rw/s1600/US_Capitol_west_side.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px;">Florida haters — there are many — sometimes refer to my adopted state as “God’s Waiting Room."</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;">The haters are wrong. Everyone knows that God’s waiting room, the place old people actually go to die, is Washington, D.C.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The latest (literally and figuratively): Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) who died Friday at 90.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Left to mourn Feinstein's passing is her successor as the oldest living member of Congress, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA). who is 90. He is followed in age-descending order by:</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep Grace Napolitano (D-CA),<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>86</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Eleanor Holmes North (D-DC), 86</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-NJ),<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>86</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Hal Rogers (R-KY), 85</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA), 85</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Steny Hoyer, D-MA), 84</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC), 83</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-CA) 83</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sen. Bernie Sanders (I) VT) 83</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The two senators aren’t up for re-election next year, but the eight representatives are and six of them have already announced their re-election bids. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Fully one-third — 34 — of our 100 (99 until Feinstein’s replacement is appointed) senators are 70 or older, including Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), 81, who suffered aphasia on camera twice in recent weeks. Compared to the Senate, the House of Representatives is a pre-school; only 75 of its 435 members are 70 plus.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The most visible oldster in DC, of course, is 80-year-old Joe Biden. If Biden is re-elected next year, he will be 85 at the end of his term.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Biden will in all probability be running against Donald Trump, who, if he wins, will be 82 when his term expires in 2029.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The thought of either of these old men running the country (and I know a thing or two about old men because I am one— I’ll be 72 in November) should scare the shit out of all Americans. Electing people past their primes to high offices — especially the presidency — is madness. Dentists, brain surgeons, professional athletes and airline pilots are expected to perform to the best of their abilities. We should expect no less from our presidents, but we can't because we keep nominating and electing candidates well past their "Best If Used By" dates.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Many oldsters retain much of their mental or physical agility well into their eighties, but few retain both.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Biden appears to be in decent physical health but his mind is obviously failing. Trump seems sharp — his speeches are as acerbic as ever — but he’s overweight and out of shape. There are probably hundreds of thousands of younger Americans, including my dachshund, who would be more effective presidents than either of them.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Article II of the Constitution stipulates that a president has to be at least 35 years old. The founders clearly assumed people younger than that don't possess enough experience and/or wisdom to steer the ship of state. While I’m sure there are 25-year-old <i>wunderkinds</i> who could run the country efficiently, and that some 100-year-olds could also handle the job, they would certainly be the exceptions.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The Age Discrimination in Employment Act prohibits most employers from establishing mandatory retirement ages. Some professions, however, are exempt, including air traffic controllers, airline pilots, and public-safety workers such as police, firefighters, and correctional officers, most of whom can’t work past age 65. Military officers have to retire at 64. Many states — among them New Jersey and Minnesota — require judges to vacate the bench at 70. Miners have to put down their pickaxes at 60 and racehorse jockeys have to ride off into the sunset at 55. Some publicly-traded company CEOs have to retire once they reach specific ages — generally 70 max— and partnerships, such as law and accounting firms, can require partners to pack it in at ages each firm can decide for itself.</span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It is well past time for a constitutional amendment that requires elected Federal officials —senators, representatives, presidents and vice-presidents — to retire once they reach a specific TBD age. Seventy (70) seems reasonable to me. <span class="Apple-converted-space">The</span> age cap would prevent candidates within spitting distance of 70 from running in the first place.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">if you worry such an amendment seems discriminatory, look at it this way: We already prevent people who aren’t yet 35, whose best days are presumably ahead, from serving as president. So why not prevent someone twice that age, whose best days are definitely behind him/her/them, as well? If a minimum age requirement isn’t considered discrimination — it’s in the Constitution after all — a maximum age requirement wouldn’t be, either.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And with that, I’ll wind this up because I have a lot on my plate today. For starters, I need to proofread and post this column, then I'll take the dog on a two-mile walk, go to the gym for two more miles on the treadmill and an hour of free weights, take a bridge lesson, and run to the hardware store to buy brackets so I can fix the guest room closet shelf that inexplicably collapsed this morning.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Considering I'm almost 72, I have plenty of energy and am firing on all eights.<br /> </span></span></p><p class="p4" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 16px;">But first, I have to take my Metamucil.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-28019393822917002082023-08-31T11:45:00.002-04:002023-09-01T07:28:09.392-04:0020 ways to tell if you're officially "old"<div><span style="font-family: arial;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg9okBIuRGxC3oEOhg3d8MLH8PFQiXvjTC0YljLgi1KLaNjLQTIYxU7lC-gi0ZOKrbFFh7bKH__RLn0CqHPLMQwUj-_7h8gawtzwRVGWvcLaphUWSzrzN6sxEZGOYqIoOkE8R1Acw8AphQutMJQKWE8YimbqN1v8Mgbs1kmupVottTSLbWHmGbygoxetWQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg9okBIuRGxC3oEOhg3d8MLH8PFQiXvjTC0YljLgi1KLaNjLQTIYxU7lC-gi0ZOKrbFFh7bKH__RLn0CqHPLMQwUj-_7h8gawtzwRVGWvcLaphUWSzrzN6sxEZGOYqIoOkE8R1Acw8AphQutMJQKWE8YimbqN1v8Mgbs1kmupVottTSLbWHmGbygoxetWQ" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: times; font-size: medium;">While watching a streaming tv series featuring an actor you haven't seen recently, you can’t believe how old and decrepit he looks. Good grief, he’s your age or only a few years older, he should look better than that! You look him up on Wikipedia and learn he’s 14 years younger than you.</span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Your niece just became a grandmother.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You were always amused by friends who took sweaters to restaurants complaining the A/C was too cold, but now you do, too.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You won’t go to any venue that features live music because it makes your hearing aids screech, not to mention it is nauseating to see couples your age joylessly dancing to “Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree.” </span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You can’t name one Taylor Swift song.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When your new personal trainer asks your fitness goal, you tell him you want him to develop an exercise routine that will help you get your butt back because it has mysteriously disappeared which is why you don’t carry your cell phone — you need the curve of your butt to keep your pants from falling around your ankles and, even with a tight belt, they fall down whenever you put the damn phone in your pocket.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The day before a hurricane is to arrive, you tell your wife you are going to use your chain saw to remove the palm fronds that are brushing against the top of your pool cage which was damaged during the last hurricane, and that you need her to hold the ladder for you. She refuses, saying someone your age has no business being up on a ladder with a chain saw because you’re either going to fall and break your hip or decapitate yourself or her. When she leaves, you do it anyway, and sawdust gets in your eyes because you didn’t wear protective goggles. The pain is excruciating and you wind up at the emergency eye clinic. Not that I know anyone this happened to.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You’re 150 pages into a book before you realize you’ve read it before.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Friends are constantly sending you memes or posting on Facebook (used exclusively by old people) about how swell things were in their youth</span></span> when kids drank water from hoses and didn’t have to wear bike helmets or seat belts. Yeah, the generation that produced Bill and Hillary Clinton, George W. Bush and Donald Trump sure knew what they were doing.</span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Your bridge partners, fellow oldsters, can rattle off the order in which every single card was played in round two of game four three weeks ago but can’t remember who dealt the last hand.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Hotel clerks ask if you need a disabled room or one near the elevator so you won’t have to walk so far.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As you are following a Buick down the highway, the jukebox in your head suddenly goes off, playing this jingle: “Wouldn’t you really rather have a Buick? </span></span>A Buick, ’63 Buick.” <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Your bank has had six different names in the 43 years since you opened your account, but your account number has remained the same. The most recent check number you wrote was 30487. Not that you write more than one or two checks a month these days —you have all your bills on autopay because you worry you’ll forget to pay them.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As you and your wife are singing along to Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain,” she points out that, for 45 years, you’ve been driving her crazy because you’ve had the lyrics wrong.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Simon’s not accusing the guy who’s so vain about having an affair with the “wife of a postman, wife of a postman.” She’s saying “wife of a close friend.”</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You still have a landline. The only calls you receive on it are robocalls. You have been intending to have it disconnected but you never do because you’re attached to your phone number.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There was something else you wanted to list here but you can’t remember it.</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As you’re finishing a post about the foibles of growing old, you feel a sudden burst of gratitude as you remember friends who would have given anything to live to be as old as you are.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-stretch: normal;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Because you have nothing more pressing to do today, you count the number of bullet points in this post to see if Dryden really listed 20 reasons or if he’s cheating you.</span></span></li></ul>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-41502154880119271962023-08-08T12:42:00.001-04:002023-08-08T12:45:18.804-04:00The doctor wants to see you<p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjzMciL68BcQqI8u-CRCtzJEcr0oIIqquWKdDLq9CPegg3BzPgw1YY0z4LCN-wivpvAjO_k_IqBdBkAMd3KcDpO2wS7miGf32dU7THhe3epHDesnEpCewClaMPkMFh1AMeQEuMzJj71b3kCQXMIP24t7g4_c-V2v4fIPlJBPGQO85_w5IfOs7_lFVgY7VU" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="198" data-original-width="254" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjzMciL68BcQqI8u-CRCtzJEcr0oIIqquWKdDLq9CPegg3BzPgw1YY0z4LCN-wivpvAjO_k_IqBdBkAMd3KcDpO2wS7miGf32dU7THhe3epHDesnEpCewClaMPkMFh1AMeQEuMzJj71b3kCQXMIP24t7g4_c-V2v4fIPlJBPGQO85_w5IfOs7_lFVgY7VU=w228-h178" width="228" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><b>Wednesday, August 2, 10:22 a.m.<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><b>Cell phone rings.</b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Recorded message:</b> Hello. This is Pelican Harbor Dermatology Clinic calling to remind you that you have an appointment at<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>…<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>9 … a … m. on<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>… Thursday … August …10th. To confirm your appointment, please press 1 at the conclusion of this message. If you are unable to keep this appointment, please call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on weekdays, and 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays. The Pelican Harbor Dermatology Clinic is pleased to announce the establishment of a new vaginal rejuvenation practice that will be headed by Dr. Alice Spoonmacher. If you would like information about our new practice, please call XXX-XXX-XXXX, extension 23, to schedule a no-obligation appointment with Dr. Spoonmacher, Thank you and we look forward to seeing you at our office located at 14254 Gulf Parkway, Bonita Springs, Florida. Good-bye.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Thursday, August 3, 7:01 a.m.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>E-mail received.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">To: Thomas Dryden</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">From: Pelican Harbor Dermatology</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Message Line: Important!</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">This is a reminder that you have an appointment at 9 a.m. on Thursday August 10th at our office located at 14254 Gulf Parkway, Bonita Springs, Florida. Please bring with you a photo I.D and your insurance information. Any co-payment that is due will be collected at check-out. To confirm your appointment, please press “Yes” below. If you are unable to keep this appointment, please call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. on weekdays, and 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays. If you are having a cosmetic Botox treatment, we remind you that Insurance companies will cover Botox only when it is used for medical purposes or when it becomes medically necessary, so full payment will be due at check-out. </span><span class="s2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 25, 27); background-color: white; color: #18191b; font-kerning: none;">T</span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">hank you and we look forward to seeing you.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Friday, August 4, 4:58 p.m.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Land line rings.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(24, 25, 27); background-color: #f6f7f9; color: #18191b; font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Recorded message:</b><i> Este es un recordatorio de que tiene una cita a las 9 a. m. del jueves 10 de agosto en nuestra oficina ubicada en 14254 Gulf Parkway, Bonita Springs, Florida. Traiga consigo una identificación con foto y la información de su seguro. Cualquier copago adeudado se cobrará al momento del check-out. Para confirmar su cita, presione "Sí" a continuación. Si no puede asistir a esta cita, llámenos al XXX-XXX-XXXX entre las 9 a. m. y las 5 p. m. de lunes a viernes y de 9 a 14 hs. los sábados. Si se está sometiendo a un tratamiento cosmético de Botox, le recordamos que las compañías de seguros cubrirán el Botox solo cuando se use con fines médicos o cuando sea médicamente necesario, por lo que el pago completo deberá realizarse al momento del check-out. Gracias y esperamos verte.</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Saturday August 5, 8:33 a.m.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Text message received.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Your appointment for 9 a.m. Thursday August 10 at the Pelican Harbor Dermatology Clinic is confirmed. If you are unable to keep this appointment, please call us immediately at XXX-XXX-XXXX. Cancellation with less than 48 hours notice will result in a charge that will be billed at the address we have on file for you. As an added service for our valued clients, during the month of August, we are offering 20 percent off nail fungus, cellulite and tattoo removal —please ask at the front desk for details. As a reminder, bring your insurance information and a government-issued I.D. and remember, copayments are due at check-out.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Monday, August 7, 11 a.m.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Email received.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">To: Thomas Dryden</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">From: Pelican Harbor Dermatology</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Message Line:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Urgent!</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Don’t forget — you have an appointment tomorrow at 9. a.m. at our Bonita Springs office. Please bring your insurance information, a photo I.D. and cash, credit card or debit card for any co-payment that is due. While you are here, be sure and ask about our summer special on laser treatments to remove unwanted body hair, spider veins and stretch marks. See you tomorrow!</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Today, August 8, 12 noon</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Cell phone rings.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Recorded message:</b> This is Pelican Harbor Dermatology Clinic, calling to remind you of your appointment which is scheduled for tomorrow at …<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>9 … a … m. If you are unable to keep this appointment, call — do not text — us immediately at XXX-XXX-XXXX.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Today, August 8th, 12:10 p.m.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>I place a call to the clinic.</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Pelican Harbor Dermatology.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD: </b>This is Thomas Dryden. In the last week your office has called on my cell phone twice … called my landline in Spanish<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>… texted<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>… and emailed … to remind me of my appointment tomorrow at 9 a.m.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I am calling to confirm that I will probably be there.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist:</b> What do you mean by “probably?”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD:</b> Well, I could die in my sleep tonight. I could have a car wreck on my way to your office. I could even be abducted by aliens. There are a million and one things that could keep me from showing up at 9 a.m.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist: </b>There’s no need to be cynical.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Well, there’s no need to treat your patients like they’re idiots. I like Dr. ________ but this is ridiculous. If I was coming to you as a Memory Care patient, I might be able to understand all those reminders but he’s a dermatologist. This doesn’t just border on harassment, it is harassment.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist:</b> Look, I’m not the one who called, texted or emailed. That’s our scheduling department. It's their job — you couldn’t believe how many people don’t show up.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD:</b> I imagine half of them don’t show up just to spite whoever’s sending these messages.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I hate to tell you this<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— don’t be mad — but you’re going to be receiving one more call this afternoon and a text tomorrow morning. I can’t stop them. They’re already programmed into the system.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD:</b> I understand, but please let the good doctor know that you need to back off all these reminder messages or I’m going to find another dermatologist.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Receptionist:</b> I will do that. See you tomorrow.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>TD:</b> Probably. Good-bye.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-11517799368678992262023-07-17T12:39:00.008-04:002023-07-18T10:36:11.084-04:00Movie Review: Mission Impossibly Dumb <p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqASloHHK6Z1VatKyOzSbgLESHoJ1kUEl8SgKktm-v_NEhVsgJl7nkCcGf_7GXWXQG4fFCdohuyfFbEHmeMalkcmG9KljaxwPjrXO_K6B-GnY6WjRBOfmWAH5wAJiYxHcvk33iM0PWOq3CSN8GHAgXDUXEmUe94gQIjeqI626L1iRz-OuxQIiT_PrsWPw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="272" data-original-width="185" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgqASloHHK6Z1VatKyOzSbgLESHoJ1kUEl8SgKktm-v_NEhVsgJl7nkCcGf_7GXWXQG4fFCdohuyfFbEHmeMalkcmG9KljaxwPjrXO_K6B-GnY6WjRBOfmWAH5wAJiYxHcvk33iM0PWOq3CSN8GHAgXDUXEmUe94gQIjeqI626L1iRz-OuxQIiT_PrsWPw" width="163" /></a></div><br /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><b>"Uh oh," I said to my wife yesterday when I saw the news. "The Silverspot Cinema is closing in a few days. Don't we have gift cards to that theater?"</b></span><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">She checked and, sure enough, we did — $50 worth. We received them years ago. We rarely go to the movies because there aren’t many movies we want to see. The last was in April — <i>Super Mario Brothers </i>— with our grandsons.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Last summer we saw <i>Elvis,</i> which wasn’t half bad. In 2019, we took the boys to <i>Toy Story 4</i>. And in 2017, we saw <i>Dunkirk.</i> The dialogue was unintelligible because the fighter pilot main characters talked through their oxygen masks which, in combination with the whir of airplane engines, made it impossible to understand what they were saying. “Mersch Elba faux schmaltz,” one RAF pilot shouted to his colleague to (I think) warn him he was being tailed by a Luftwaffe Messerschmitt. “Gobblegook caca,” his fellow pilot replied as his stricken Spitfire spiraled toward the sea.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We went online to see what was playing at the Silverspot, one of those fancy multiplexes where the leather chairs recline and customers can purchase booze and food and have them delivered to their seats. Today's high-concept theaters are a far cry from the Liberty Theater in Mexico, Mo., from which I was unfairly ejected at age 14 in 1966 because my friend Harper, who was seated next to me, yelled, “I asked what your name was, not what you have” when James Bond (Sean Connery) asked Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) to identify herself.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Our options yesterday were:</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>The Sound of Freedom</i>, a movie about child-trafficking. Twitter ads keep informing me the pedophiles and Christian haters who run Hollywood don’t want me to see it. If the pedophiles and Christian haters in La-La Land don’t want me to see it, who am I to go against their wishes?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Besides, I don’t want to pay money (or, in this case, use gift cards) to walk out of the theater depressed. If I want to be depressed, I’ll watch youtube videos of the leader of the free world trying to find his way off-stage, falling, misspeaking and sniffing children’s hair.</span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>The Little Mermaid</i>, a woke remake of the Disney animated classic we took our children to see in the early 90s. No, thanks.</span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Insidious: The Red Door,</i> which the review described as, “Josh Lambert heads east to drop his son, Dalton, off at school. However, Dalton's college dream soon becomes a living nightmare when the repressed demons of his past suddenly return to haunt them both.” Uh, no.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny</i>, the fifth and supposedly final episode in a series of movies starring Harrison Ford as the title character. Friends were laughing about how awful it is and how ridiculous an 80-year-old Ford — rather, his body double — looks leaping between train cars. I’d as soon have a colonoscopy as sit through that — at least you get knocked out for the procedure.</span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Joy Ride: “</i>When Audrey's business trip to Asia goes sideways, she enlists the help of Lolo, her childhood best friend, Kat, a college friend, and Deadeye, Lolo's eccentric cousin. Their epic, no-holds-barred experience becomes a journey of bonding, friendship, belonging and wild debauchery.” I think not.</span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Elemental</i>, a Disney/Pixar flick described as “a modern yet fantastical odyssey of romance and self-realization clashing with the weight of ethnic and generational expectations. A colorful and cultural onslaught of imagination, relatability and sentiment, tailored by two endearing leads with irresistible chemistry.” I’m not going to invest two hours of my dwindling lifespan if someone can’t explain WTF a movie is about.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>No Hard Feelings</i>, starring Jennifer Lawrence. I don’t get Jennifer Lawrence’s appeal. She was good in her first movie, <i>Winter’s Bone,</i> in which she played a girl trying to track down her methhead father. Nothing she’s made since is for people my age.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>Transformers: Rise of the Beast: </i>Didn’t bother looking up the reviews for a movie based on toys Santa brought my kids thirty-some years ago.</span></li></ul><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">That left us a choice of one movie, <i>Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning - Part One</i>, starring Tom Cruise.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The seven MI movies (to date) are based on a <i>Man From U.N.C.L.E</i> knock-off TV show from the mid-sixties about a secret agent. The original starred Peter Graves and Barbara Bain. The MI TV show is best remembered for two things: 1) Every episode began with Graves listening to a recorded message explaining what he was expected to do — his “mission” that always seemed “impossible" — which inexplicably vaporized after five seconds, and 2) its catchy theme song.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We jumped in the car and rushed to the theater and were lucky enough to find a parking spot a few feet from the entrance, giving us just enough time to spend our gift card plus $20 of our own money on two senior tickets and two gigantic tumblers of Pinot Grigio, each of which held half a bottle of wine — the bartender was filling every glass to the brim because all that booze needed to be used up before the theater shuts down for good, and he was obviously hoping for a big tip, which he duly received.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The theater was nearly full.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We had to sit on the front row. Moments after we arrived, the lights dimmed and the movie began.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The opening scene: The crew of a Russian sub detects on radar something that appears to be an American sub that is about to attack. The Russikies fire torpedoes in self-defense, and to their astonishment, the other sub disappears. Unfortunately for them, the torpedoes they fired do a 180 and blow their own sub to smithereens.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Cut to a Botoxed Cruise, now in his sixties, who, amazingly, has a full head of hair without a single strand of gray. He is listening to a detailed message instructing him to find a high-tech key that empowers anyone or any government who has it to create havoc then disappear. The message, of course, vaporizes after five seconds. While it was possible to believe in the 1960s that Graves could remember instructions, it’s totally implausible in today’s attention-addled technology-dependent society in which nobody has the ability to remember anything unless it is entered as a reminder in their iPhones.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Cruise spends the better part of the next two hours chasing after, or fleeing from, the bad guys, and interacting strangely with two female leads who aren’t nearly as pretty as the 1968 Homecoming Court of North Callaway High School in Kingdom City, Mo. Whatever happened to gorgeous movie stars like Elizabeth Taylor, Julie Christie, Michelle Pfeiffer and Kim Basinger? The short answer: Kow-towing to ugly women and their supporters who claimed that glamorous women were objectionable and nothing more than sex objects, Hollywood today features interchangeable female stars of average looks and unidentifiable ethnicities.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">There is no kissing, no sex, no nothing between Cruise and the females. I assume the lack of PDA is to ensure the movie will play in places like India and the Middle East, where such things can get movies banned.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">From my vantage point on the front row, watching a movie in which the aging male stars — there are no young ones, which would make Cruise look older than he already is — are shot from below the chin to hide their sagging jowls, the most “impossible” thing about Mission Impossible, Part 7-1, is that none of them have a single hair protruding from their nostrils. Somehow, despite chasing each other around the world 24/7, these guys have found time to use their Wahl Nasal Hair and Eyebrow Trimmers that leave their nostrils as hair-free as a baby’s behind.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Most of the movie is one action-packed scene after another,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>including a hot pursuit through a futuristic airport and a car chase in a yellow Fiat through Rome that passes the Colosseum and Spanish Steps. The finale takes place aboard the Orient Express as it wends its way through Austria. Predictably, Cruise chases a bad guy (or does the bad guy chase him? After half a bottle of Pinot Grigio, I wasn’t sure) atop the speeding train, ducking split-seconds before the train enters tunnels. This will seem original only to anyone who has spent the last eighty years in solitary confinement — and certainly not to anyone who saw the latest Indiana Jones movie.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In the final scene, Cruise and one (or both, I was completely inebriated by that point) of his female stars wind up in a train dangling from a bridge that has just been blown up. The cars fall, one by one, into the abyss, and finally, Cruise parachutes to safety. The movie concludes by reminding viewers to be sure to come see Part Two.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And I will, but only if I have a gift card I have to use that day.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-88267306908862302252023-06-19T18:06:00.002-04:002023-06-19T18:22:24.447-04:00All because two people fell in love<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEoUEPWiUPxB8ZliJudiq2qN_e2a-JCD7ZwdZp0IgmsnTL0VRyFqhyeBsBrupTOGQWQSMKutFUc4RNadIaZ8bwnF45gwCEEU44L5v8gVtlKwBjFrfgSqQx3eCeUcpO857jn32oLEoSLvBUZE_5yvfxqmO_RgzJ0hNgQUHO8UrRzN3PX_NHSo94W4-LTDs" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="924" data-original-width="638" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEoUEPWiUPxB8ZliJudiq2qN_e2a-JCD7ZwdZp0IgmsnTL0VRyFqhyeBsBrupTOGQWQSMKutFUc4RNadIaZ8bwnF45gwCEEU44L5v8gVtlKwBjFrfgSqQx3eCeUcpO857jn32oLEoSLvBUZE_5yvfxqmO_RgzJ0hNgQUHO8UrRzN3PX_NHSo94W4-LTDs=w205-h297" width="205" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"> Bud and Ruby Dryden on their wedding day,</div><div style="text-align: center;">June 25, 1933</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My parents got married on June 25, 1933 -- ninety years ago this week.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My mother never quite forgave my father for the angst he caused her that day. For decades after his death, whenever she told the story about how infuriated she was, I always felt that, because he wasn't around to defend himself, I should, as a fellow male, at least try to make excuses for my father's strange behavior. But I had to concede she had a point.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Gilbert (Bud) Dryden and Ruby Tate met in the summer of 1931. Ruby was visiting a friend in High Hill, Mo., ten or so miles from her hometown of Mineola. He was 25. She was 18.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ruby and her friend, Elvira, went to a baseball game in which Bud was playing. After the game, he stopped to chat with Elvira and to check out her pretty friend. Ruby was surprised and pleased when Bud offered to drive her back to Mineola in his father's Model A Ford.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In her memoir, which she wrote in 2000, Ruby says she fell in love almost immediately. Soon, Bud was borrowing his father's car after church every Sunday to visit Ruby.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">"He would arrive in the afternoon and we would drive to the picture show at the Ritz in Montgomery City," Ruby wrote. "Joan Crawford, Al Jolson, the Ziegfield Follies -- shows were great in those days."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">With elaborate musical production numbers and plots that often revolved around sophisticated city slickers who led glamorous and exciting lives, the movies also offered the couple a means to forget, for a few hours, that they were in the midst of the greatest economic upheaval in American history, the Great Depression.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like millions of young people in the early 1930s, neither had jobs or prospect of jobs. Bud had returned to High Hill the previous year after the chain variety store where he was a management trainee had closed a few months after the stock market crash, and was clearing trees at his father's farm. Ruby had been awarded a full-tuition college scholarship but had to turn it down because her family couldn't afford to pay for room and board. Her father's employer, the Bank of Mineola, had failed; her family had lost its house, and was living in the basement of the vacant bank building.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bud fell for Ruby, too. They had much in common.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Both were shy around strangers. "Bud's social ineptness," Ruby wrote, "was, if possible, even greater than mine." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Both despised Herbert Hoover, who was running for re-election, and enthusiastically supported FDR, the Democrat who promised to lead the country out of the Depression.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Both loved poetry, and could recite lengthy works they had been required to memorize in school. Bud's favorite was "Invictus" by William Henley. Ruby loved Walt Whitman.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Both dreamed of escaping the hick towns they were stuck in for circumstances beyond their control. Ruby listened raptly as Bud described how, someday, he was going to start a variety store of his own. Because a small town like High Hill or Mineola couldn't possibly support such a venture, he would be opening a store in a good-size town -- perhaps even bigger than Montgomery City. As soon as the Depression was over, of course. And Bud was sure it would be over quickly. Roosevelt, after all, was certain to win and would fix everything.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">On summer Sundays when they didn't go to the movies, they would swim in Loutre Creek which ran through Mineola. Sometimes Bud would stay for supper at her parents' house.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At Christmas, 1932, Bud presented Ruby with a small diamond ring. "If you will marry me and wear this for the next 25 years, I'll buy you the biggest diamond I can find," he told her. (She held him to that promise but that's a story for another day.) Ruby said yes, and the date was set: June 25 1933.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">For $2.50, Ruby ordered from the J.C. Penney catalog a blue dress with white polka dots to wear on her big day.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">On Sunday, June 25, 1933, Bud drove to Mineola to pick up his bride-to-be, who was waiting patiently.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Weddings today are elaborate affairs costing tens -- sometimes hundreds -- of thousands of dollars. But in Depression-era rural Missouri, most couples got married in small ceremonies at the bride's parents' home to which only close relatives and friends would be invited. More commonly, they arranged to be married at a minister's home and nobody -- even family members -- was invited; the minister would often have to rustle up witnesses to sign the couple's marriage certificate. Bud and Ruby decided that, because her parents couldn't afford even a small wedding, that they would be married in a minister's house.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bud's favorite history instructor from his days at Central Wesleyan College, Dr. J.O Helmers, was also a Methodist minister, who was authorized to perform weddings at any time provided the couple possessed a valid marriage license. Bud wanted Dr. Helmers to perform the ceremony, so the couple drove the 25 miles to his home in Warrenton.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">En route, Ruby asked Bud what time Dr. Helmers was expecting them. Bud confessed that he hadn't notified Dr. Helmers they were coming.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It wasn't that he forgot. Bud was certainly aware he and Ruby had agreed to get married on June 25. More likely, Bud, who was painfully shy, was too nervous to ask Helmers. What if he said no? What if he wasn't available that day? Bud, as Ruby knew, was "socially inept" and his failure to arrange his own wedding was the mother of all acts of social ineptitude.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">All Bud would have had to do in the weeks leading up to the wedding was send a postcard asking Helmers if he could marry them on June 25. The Postal Service, in those days, was super-efficient. A postcard mailed from High Hill in the morning would have been delivered to Warrenton that afternoon. Alternately, he could have called Helmers, through my father would have thought a long-distance call, even for something as important as his wedding, was an extravagance.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ruby was horrified to learn Bud had made no arrangements whatsoever. If Helmers wasn't available that afternoon, Bud and Ruby were out of luck. Bud assured Ruby he was confident Helmers would be at home, and would be happy to perform the ceremony. When she asked how he could be so sure, he had no answer other than, "I'm pretty sure he stays home most Sundays."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ruby was beside herself with worry and incredulity all the way to Warrenton. She couldn't understand how the man to whom she was about to plight her troth could be so cavalier about something that important. I wasn't there, of course, but I can just picture them, put-putting down the highway in grandpa's Model A, my mother asking over and over, hoping to hear a different answer each time from her groom, and my father thinking that if he had known his bride had such a formidable temper -- and she did -- that he would rather be chopping down trees on his father's farm and would, in fact, rather be anywhere but in that car speeding down Highway 40, praying that Dr. Helmers was home.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Add to that the fact that my mother thought (with justification) that dad drove like a maniac and would have almost certainly been begging him to slow down and not to pass on hills or curves -- my siblings and I hated to be in a car with them because the more she criticized his driving, the more carelessly he drove -- and the ride to Warrenton must have been about as pleasurable as a trip to the gallows for both of them.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When they arrived at Helmers' house, Bud went to the front door and knocked. The professor's wife opened the door and invited him in. Ruby sat in the car, wondering what was going on. Was Dr. Helmers there? If so, was he willing to marry them that minute? What on earth could they be talking about?</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A half hour later, Bud stepped onto the front porch and gestured for his bride to come inside. Most brides would have been long gone by that point but luckily for their descendants, Ruby stuck around.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A few minutes after she walked into the minister's house as a Tate, Ruby walked out as a Dryden.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bud drove his bride back to Mineola. His new in-laws were waiting at Beacon Camp where, to support his family, Ruby's ex-banker father had recently built a half dozen tourist cabins and a small restaurant her mother ran. A gas pump was installed in front of the restaurant. Ruby said her mother didn't even bake a cake but her sister and brother-in-law stopped by with a freezer of homemade ice cream.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">A photograph taken by Ruby's cousin Norma that afternoon pictures the newlyweds standing in front of the gas pump. Ruby looks happy, almost pleased with herself. Bud looks nervous. They are not holding hands. Having just discovered he had married a woman with a pit-bull temper, I imagine he was afraid to touch her. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ruby never knew the photo existed until long after my father had died, when Norma ran across the original and sent it to her. The photo is one of the few ever taken of my parents who, because the Depression taught them not to buy anything they didn't absolutely need, never owned a camera.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Later that afternoon, the newlyweds departed for three days at the Lake of the Ozarks, 40 miles south of Jefferson City, that had been created when Bagnell Dam was completed, impounding the Osage River. Today Lake Ozark is one of Missouri's biggest tourist attractions. But back when Bud and Ruby Dryden honeymooned at the lake, there were only a handful of tourist cottages.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After stopping at several places, Bud admitted he hadn't made a reservation, but was almost sure they would find a cabin soon.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">------------------------------</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Dad died in 1966. He was 58. Mom outlived him by 49 years, passing away in 2015 at 102. Their most important legacy is 25 direct descendants -- three children, nine grandkids, 13 great-grandkids and, coming in August, a great-great. Despite wedding day angst and countless shouting matches whenever my dad was behind the wheel of the family car, my parents had a happy marriage and today lie side-by-side at Mt. Pleasant Cemetery outside High Hill.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There's a country song by Brad Paisley about a family in which a couple and four generations of their descendants get together every year for a creekside reunion. Paisley sings, "It's all so clear, every one of us is here, all because two people fell in love." It makes me smile and wistful at the same time. Because he died so young, Bud only got to meet three of his grandchildren, and only one of them remembers him. Knowing my dad, he would have thought all his grandkids and great-grandkids walked on water. If you're not familiar with it, you can hear Paisley's song, "Two People Fell in Love," by clicking <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNU3k_poj_Q">this link.</a> It is sweet, like the hopeful young couple in the above picture.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mom and Dad, this song is for you with love and thanks -- especially to mom for not jumping out of that Model A Ford parked in front of Dr. Helmers' house and running away.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I would also like to give a shout-out to Elvira -- don't know her last name -- for inviting Ruby to that baseball game. Without her, you wouldn't be reading this. </div><p></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-11052720065969461492023-04-30T19:16:00.002-04:002023-05-01T18:05:29.110-04:00The Fledgling<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzhrZ7TswJpW4OldAmCGydvHrN9Ht06hJGbluzXHCH7eNh0BRHITHGra4E3odfseUjyx5LKDNi5J9ZRS_d67e1WTEElwghcMoS406E42TbgmnlATeMdWJazJQV5PtBJuMtS6VwCpp6XlXr3c1dscOGqHd_lZbRL4mKQ-hZHIgOwXvF9goS_0rpzK2S" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="2100" data-original-width="2563" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzhrZ7TswJpW4OldAmCGydvHrN9Ht06hJGbluzXHCH7eNh0BRHITHGra4E3odfseUjyx5LKDNi5J9ZRS_d67e1WTEElwghcMoS406E42TbgmnlATeMdWJazJQV5PtBJuMtS6VwCpp6XlXr3c1dscOGqHd_lZbRL4mKQ-hZHIgOwXvF9goS_0rpzK2S" width="293" /></a></div><br /></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Like many Florida houses, ours has a screened aluminum cage built over and around our pool to keep bugs, rabbits, leaves, gators, snakes, frogs, and other undesirables from falling into it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Four days ago when we opened the door to let the dogs out, Rupert and Russell immediately ran to the far side of the cage and began sniffing and barking. We assumed they had found a rabbit. Russell, in particular, hates them and spends hours each day patrolling the perimeter of the cage to scare them away and remind those silly wabbits they are trespassing on his territory.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But the dogs hadn’t found a rabbit. They had found a baby bird covered in fluffy gray down. The bird was trembling. Every so often he -- I’ll call it “he” but I may be wrong -- waddled a few inches to, fro or from side-to-side, and emitted tweets (but not mean ones like Trump.) He was the size of those bright yellow chicks once sold at Eastertime in dimestores, but his coloring and face resembled one of the babies in “March of The Penguins.”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My wife and I assumed the bird had fallen out of his nest. We looked but saw no nests in nearby trees. Our first inclination was to pick him up, place him in a shoebox, bring him inside and feed him with a medicine dropper until he was capable of surviving on his own. Either that or call the Audubon Society to take him away to wherever it is that Audubonners take birds in distress.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I went online to see what the experts recommend and learned that the best thing we could do was … nothing.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I learned that he wasn’t a newborn. Newly hatched birds — nestlings — are scrawny, pink, featherless and helpless. This bird was a fledgling, a couple of weeks old. Fledglings have feathers and can hop around and forage for food themselves. Their parents kick them out of the nest to force them to learn to fly on their own. In all likelihood, the fledgling’s parents are nearby, checking on him every few hours. It may take up to two weeks for the fledgling to figure out how to fly. Until then, he will remain on the ground, a few feet from our pool cage.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Kicking your kids out of the nest so they can figure things out on their own is Mother Nature’s plan for all living, breathing creatures with the exception of Dryden dogs, who have come to expect food imported from Denmark, bottled water and who spend most of their days curled up on microfiber throws we keep atop our upholstered furniture to prevent drool stains. They couldn’t survive a minute in the wild.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">MN (Mother Nature) expects parents — human and otherwise — to force their fledglings to learn how to take care of themselves so that, once mom and dad have gone to that aviary in the sky, the kids can survive on their own. MN never foresaw a world in which human parents can call or text offspring who have left the nest ten or twenty times every day to find out if they got up, went to class, what they had for lunch, or to give them advice they feel the kid needs. Technology has made it it possible for parents to hover over their children long past the time those children should be able to take care of themselves and their parents should have let go. It hobbles kids while making their parents feel virtuous and/or useful and still in control when the kid should be learning how to navigate the world on his or her own.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Reluctantly, because our every instinct told us the fledgling needed our help, we decided to leave him alone, though we’ve been checking on him every few hours, taking care not to frighten him. We have no idea what kind of bird we’re dealing with. He may be an owl<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— the shape, coloring and feathers look like pictures we’ve found of owlet fledglings. On the other hand, we’ve seen a black bird nearby who swoops over him several times a day.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Whatever type of bird he is, the Audubon Society says we are doing the right thing by leaving him alone.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We discovered him Thursday morning. By Friday morning, he had moved three or four feet away from the cage. That afternoon he hopped back. Saturday he moved 10 feet south. This morning — Sunday—<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>we woke up to a violent thunderstorm. When we checked, he was still there, his wet downy feathers clinging to his little body, but he had had the sense to move himself under a tree. He looked pitiful and it was all I could do to refrain from bringing him inside, drying him off and offering him a morsel of my Pillsbury Grand Biscuit.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">By noon, when the above picture was taken, the sun was shining, his feathers were dry and he was fluffy again. Over the last few hours he has moved three or four feet to the east, and is starting to flap his tiny wings more often though he remains, for now, grounded.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I hope that if he sees a snake, rabbit or other predator coming — a real likelihood in Florida —<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>he will flutter his wings and, to his surprise, fly away to safety.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I don’t know if birds are capable of love but I do know that if you love something, you need to let it go and the fledgling’s parents have done that. Hopefully we can too until, one day -- maybe tomorrow -- we will go to check on him and he’ll be gone.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I hope he’ll leave his number so we can text him.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-17352579104056607632023-03-26T12:18:00.015-04:002023-03-31T20:55:49.956-04:00Rail Tales<p> </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK4cFjmAVSwmHbF66a9bkbwUlSqonIFnt8k5kV3shSofPix2a7g67WHh4XwOOaVbQQLpJDGCdMNVdA9oqQU640MTpDbtGfEnDT4A4YJeFDGHBCtyDTAH-xZT75VnP5yiVRmhENAphfdrm043Z_HToqBkIK09OHCpy0aePmUMII_2dQqNAbMdyodu_b/s2387/DSCF3138.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1790" data-original-width="2387" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK4cFjmAVSwmHbF66a9bkbwUlSqonIFnt8k5kV3shSofPix2a7g67WHh4XwOOaVbQQLpJDGCdMNVdA9oqQU640MTpDbtGfEnDT4A4YJeFDGHBCtyDTAH-xZT75VnP5yiVRmhENAphfdrm043Z_HToqBkIK09OHCpy0aePmUMII_2dQqNAbMdyodu_b/s320/DSCF3138.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The railroad track is miles away,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And the day is loud with voices speaking,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Yet there isn’t a train goes by all day</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But I hear its whistle shrieking.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">All night there isn’t a train goes by,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Though the night is still for sleep and dreaming.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">But I see its cinders red on the sky,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And hear its engine steaming.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My heart is warm with the friends I make,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And better friends I’ll not be knowing,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Yet there isn’t a train I wouldn’t take,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">No matter where it’s going.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Edna St. Vincent Millay, 1921</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I just finished reading "Train" by Tom Zollner, an examination of the transformative role railroads played in the development of nine countries including the U.K. (where the steam locomotive debuted in 1809), India, the U.S., China, Peru and Russia. Zollner took multiple train trips across all those countries including one journey, the world's longest, I've dreamed of taking for decades, the Trans-Siberian. Given the relations between the rest of the world and Russia, I doubt I'll be hearing a conductor yell "Vsa Na Bort" -- Russian for "All Aboard" -- anytime soon. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Zollner’s book got me thinking about the transformative role trains have played in my family. Trains not only made it possible for us earn our livelihoods, they took us to unforgettable destinations and provided us with legendary stories — some inspirational, some sweet, some tragic, some hilarious, some both tragic and hilarious — that we’ve shared for the last 150 years.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>My mom, who died eight years ago at 102, was the keeper and teller of those tales. My sister and I are the last remaining repositories of our family’s train stories.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I hope this column is read by the current generation of my family and passed on to their descendants so at least some of those rail tales can remain a part of our history for another 150 years. And if my long-time readers want to read them too, you’re certainly welcome. You'll laugh, cry and/or be appalled at some of these stories. And I promise you'll learn some American history along the way.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ready for a blog post darn near as long as the Trans-Siberian Railroad? </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">OK then, stow your luggage, take your seat, and … <i>Vse Na Bort</i>. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>The widow entrepreneur</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitfNBrkjxbZubxnXHVgMcZ517EsG-wJfacQ0yIG6D1aOdCr2bIP21EjpBnToNenWuwfc1TPLMET3lO86Ub5LzIFi5_7sAQZ-mNskvOrBReHLGQld2ktjzz-3op2az2UpLKwfP0t4vvqIXhD7ONsorxOanzHtg99cdo-OVIye0MJZkjWbV9uk9uKApb" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="250" height="379" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitfNBrkjxbZubxnXHVgMcZ517EsG-wJfacQ0yIG6D1aOdCr2bIP21EjpBnToNenWuwfc1TPLMET3lO86Ub5LzIFi5_7sAQZ-mNskvOrBReHLGQld2ktjzz-3op2az2UpLKwfP0t4vvqIXhD7ONsorxOanzHtg99cdo-OVIye0MJZkjWbV9uk9uKApb=w284-h379" width="284" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Catherine Dryden's grave at Mt. Pleasant<br />Cemetery, Hill Hill, Mo.</td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In 1872, my great-grandfather, Gilbert Dryden, the first of four Gilberts who would be born to successive generations of Drydens, died at the age of 42 in High Hill, Mo., a tiny town sixty miles west of St. Louis. High Hill<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>— there aren’t any hills within 10 miles of it, the terrain around it is pancake flat — had recently been chosen by the North Missouri Railroad as a stop for its trains to take on water, coal and change crews.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Left to mourn his passing was his wife, Catherine, whom he had married the year before, following the death of his first wife. Catherine, according to census records, had been an indentured servant working for a prosperous local family. He also left four young children from his first marriage.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Catherine was pregnant when her husband died, leaving her to raise and feed not only her soon-to-be-born son, my grandfather, Gilbert II, but her husband’s four orphans. There was no Social Security or other safety net to fall back on, Catherine was on her own.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">To support her extended family, Catherine, who had learned to sew in her servant days, went to work patching the uniforms of railroad conductors who overnighted in High Hill. The men would check in to the hotel, send their uniforms to her for repair, and she would return them looking good as new.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Her clients were so impressed that word spread throughout the Northern Missouri system. Soon, Catherine wasn’t just patching uniforms, she was making conductor uniforms for the entire railroad, cutting out the heavy fabric, stitching the pieces together, adding lining, pockets, trim and buttons. She was so successful her son and stepchildren grew up in what was, for sleepy High Hill, relative prosperity.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My father, Gilbert III, born in 1907, recalled that every Memorial Day after her death in 1917, he, his father and step-uncles walked two miles to the cemetery to place flowers on her grave.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Railroads funded the foundation of a family that continues to thrive today. Catherine and Gilbert’s direct descendants — living and dead — number 33, with two more on the way. Four had, or have, “Catherine” as their first or middle names.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>The railroad postal clerk</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhb3QWdom-3RH7O6Eng7aelebpw0lAV-XL4aR0P6E3T96_i1RYUNsMpKvFyMiYKrw0ITKzNIdHWahiCHEfPrYSU1-0xpSXbA6aWd33MvXaxvP00pq-7lwAQBYbLX4S6z3IL6mYxWDKCDGlwE3d1hwkRDMbfbQll-3wXWdFQz41rlSDClPqzMfDcUXil" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="523" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhb3QWdom-3RH7O6Eng7aelebpw0lAV-XL4aR0P6E3T96_i1RYUNsMpKvFyMiYKrw0ITKzNIdHWahiCHEfPrYSU1-0xpSXbA6aWd33MvXaxvP00pq-7lwAQBYbLX4S6z3IL6mYxWDKCDGlwE3d1hwkRDMbfbQll-3wXWdFQz41rlSDClPqzMfDcUXil" width="308" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This railroad postal sorting car from the 1890s is on<br />display at the National Postal Museum in D.C.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As a young man, Gilbert II, Catherine’s only child, had wanderlust. High Hill wasn’t big enough, he wanted to see the world.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">He trekked to Alaska in search of gold. Not finding it, he returned to Missouri and landed a plum job sorting mail on U.S. Postal Service railway cars. From the 1860s through the 1940s, most long-distance trains carried a designated, specially-configured car in which teams of clerks were working furiously, sorting mail as the train sped across the country. For instance, a train leaving St. Louis for San Francisco contained a car stacked to the ceiling with dozens of bags of mail addressed to residents of the destination city as well as places in-between — tiny towns like High Hill, small towns like Topeka, big cities like Kansas City, Denver, Salt Lake and Sacramento. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As the trains clickety-clacked across prairies, forests, mountains and deserts, Grandpa and his fellow clerks sorted the letters and catalogs and placed them in mailbags. The bags were thrown out at small towns to be retrieved by the local postmaster, delivered to the stationmasters in cities where the train stopped, or transferred to trains headed to other destinations. A letter mailed in St. Louis at noon could be in a post office box in High Hill within a couple of hours. Six hours later the mail could be in Kansas City. Within 48 hours it could reach California.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It was an exciting job for an adventurous young man, but Catherine became concerned after a number of high-profile accidents — some were spectacular head-on collisions in which dozens were killed — and begged her son to quit and return to High Hill. She finally convinced him by promising to buy him a general store — she had the money thanks to her uniform business. He came home, married, and fathered four children, two of whom, including my father, would someday run general stores that contained post offices.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The National Postal Museum in D.C., the smallest of the Smithsonians, features a postal sorting car from the 1890s. I visit it every few years, as a reminder of grandpa who died when I was three — I remember his face but nothing else about him. As someone who was also stricken with wanderlust at a young age, I can understand why grandpa wanted to ride the rails. </span>At the end of his shift, when the doors of his mail car rolled open, he might find himself in New York, Boston, New Orleans, Seattle or someplace equally exotic to a High Hill boy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Why great-grandma Sarah couldn’t wear open toe shoes</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtZAeOZpf_nTzz_FWgzGaKqJ2QIlSZnWIC63Tk86p2HiB9e0YDFa7oSl9mA0J1VYa004ugdaucHh_AZuVHoAG6H69uquxZaJjfqt62HjdZnIZ05JP3YQDA4dVizCyZOcy4kud5z3z5rJ__osegoOf3PAmpm6Tqf6rcSoFbuFbGmrE_8jHdryP7CiZ/s612/istockphoto-108351486-612x612.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="440" data-original-width="612" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLtZAeOZpf_nTzz_FWgzGaKqJ2QIlSZnWIC63Tk86p2HiB9e0YDFa7oSl9mA0J1VYa004ugdaucHh_AZuVHoAG6H69uquxZaJjfqt62HjdZnIZ05JP3YQDA4dVizCyZOcy4kud5z3z5rJ__osegoOf3PAmpm6Tqf6rcSoFbuFbGmrE_8jHdryP7CiZ/s320/istockphoto-108351486-612x612.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> This isn't great-grandma Sarah. <br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The ditzy branch of my family tree is my mother’s family, the Tates. Mom regaled us with innumerable bizarre stories about her Tate forebears — the great-uncle who, serving as a pallbearer, dropped her father’s casket while carrying it down the stairs of the church; her father who got so excited when he saw the newspaper headline trumpeting the end of World War I that he grabbed a woman’s hat off the rack and wore it home to tell his family the war was over; the great-great aunt, a niece of Daniel Boone, who, while sweeping her log cabin, got too close to the fireplace, her dress caught fire, and her husband returned home to find his wife a crispy critter; the pipe-smoking Tate mother who refused to let her twelfth and last child go to school and insisted on breast-feeding him until he was six years old, tall enough to stand on his own two feet and nurse as she rocked back and forth in her rocker. </span><div><br /><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Weirdest of all the Tate tales was the story of her grandmother, Sarah Martha Tate, a resident of Montgomery City ten miles northwest of High Hill. Walking across the parallel tracks of the Wabash Railroad in the 1890s, she stumbled and her foot got somehow caught in a switch that had been thrown remotely by Montgomery City’s stationmaster. A switch, in case you’re unfamiliar with railroad lingo, is a mechanical device that allows a slow train to be switched from one track to another where it pauses to allow a faster train to pass it.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKbyLMxdYOMsNfLfNg3wE6KYAFDccEhOn-VA8PdWuhUgi5MetKpy6AoTM-tpAqp6o-ua-23asKULmQMe4mFqS7IXSEXq4KpyPovux2VzWNRehNTuPjsVE5Df6t-l8-AThWoYmdRtQo0eRDCvMZTGMPBc_5WzYfd2yOqSs7hcgz-xxwvmzEc3DrqR9r" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="156" data-original-width="200" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjKbyLMxdYOMsNfLfNg3wE6KYAFDccEhOn-VA8PdWuhUgi5MetKpy6AoTM-tpAqp6o-ua-23asKULmQMe4mFqS7IXSEXq4KpyPovux2VzWNRehNTuPjsVE5Df6t-l8-AThWoYmdRtQo0eRDCvMZTGMPBc_5WzYfd2yOqSs7hcgz-xxwvmzEc3DrqR9r" width="308" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How ditzy do you have to be to get<br />your foot trapped in one of these?</td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Try as she might, she couldn’t extract her foot. She must have been terrified when, after failing to get it free, a train ran over her and severed her big toe but — this is what I’ve never been able to get my head around— left her other four toes intact. The scene always reminded me of an old-time silent movie in which a villain tied a beauty to the train tracks where, at the very last second before an oncoming locomotive would have pulverized her, she was swooped off and saved by the movie’s hero. No hero appeared that day to save the damsel in distress.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My sister and I laughed whenever our mother told the story<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>which made mom, who had loved her grandmother, mad. We laughed even harder when mom would lament that our great-grandmother refused to wear open-toe shoes because she was embarrassed by the loss of her big toe.</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Uncle Henry and the ultimate mule train story</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDN1YKrTH-YOJK-pvBJ7bjCFTvIE930DEd8rlCRAr5NF6JWe8-jHMh2zZJVJr1TvDyjq-CC2bmvkOeCC1wmO8MzvgBkY7NgR7nuUv9wldK5CDJ8Ag_dbqADasGN0Y5ViEyLn6D5JFPJXWyx2_fiPJOiXX2iXoicwL7-XoAodPVp77vp6zx1aRTlpp/s600/0305003525-l.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="600" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDN1YKrTH-YOJK-pvBJ7bjCFTvIE930DEd8rlCRAr5NF6JWe8-jHMh2zZJVJr1TvDyjq-CC2bmvkOeCC1wmO8MzvgBkY7NgR7nuUv9wldK5CDJ8Ag_dbqADasGN0Y5ViEyLn6D5JFPJXWyx2_fiPJOiXX2iXoicwL7-XoAodPVp77vp6zx1aRTlpp/s320/0305003525-l.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This isn't Uncle Henry.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; text-align: left;">One of Gilbert I’s children from his first marriage was named Henry, who was known for his cantankerousness (which Microsoft Word, to my surprise, says is an actual word). My father called him Uncle Henry and whenever his name was mentioned, those who had known him rolled their eyes. </span></div><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">A legendary Henry story that has nothing to do with trains but I'm driving this train so I’ll tell it anyway and if you don’t like it you can, as Henry would no doubt have said, stick it up your you-know-what: Henry once sat down at a holiday meal my grandmother had spent days preparing. The table was laden with a turkey, ham, veggies, salads, pickles, breads and a sideboard of cakes and pies was waiting in the kitchen. Henry surveyed the table, wrinkled his nose, and asked her to make him a dish of oatmeal. We now return to Tom’s Rail Tales.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In addition to a disagreeable disposition, Henry also possessed a volcanic temper. Sometime around the turn of the last century, Henry, a farmer, was leading his mule, which was pulling a wagon, when the animal balked directly atop the Northern Missouri tracks. Knowing a train was due any minute, Henry tried everything to convince the mule to move. He pulled, he pushed, he whipped it, but the mule stayed put. Enraged, Henry split the mule’s head open with an axe, doused the wagon and its contents with kerosene, threw a match on it and watched it burn until only the axle and wheels were left, then pulled the carcass and what little remained of the wagon off the tracks moments before the train rushed through.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Taking the train to the World’s Fair</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0gGfDSNHjCN2VGO1N2g_a-vWa-zJdblM1P06ZD_P1WUSUpvCwILnXsjuONv01brNIvesMwt3dM1De60tiyMNnv44W9MfEv7zQPwxHJNnOyL3S2sg6gnIVzTh8jP25lsCibnKPxkMMDf4cNrVMQOLkuXzsVZZdVajV-3DLZg_zydLG35e_Kk8Cwt-U" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0gGfDSNHjCN2VGO1N2g_a-vWa-zJdblM1P06ZD_P1WUSUpvCwILnXsjuONv01brNIvesMwt3dM1De60tiyMNnv44W9MfEv7zQPwxHJNnOyL3S2sg6gnIVzTh8jP25lsCibnKPxkMMDf4cNrVMQOLkuXzsVZZdVajV-3DLZg_zydLG35e_Kk8Cwt-U" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For their honeymoon, my grandparents,<br />Gilbert II and Virgie, took the train from High Hill<br />to St. Louis for the 1904 World's Fair. </td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br style="font-family: Times;" /></p><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Gilbert II and his bride, my grandmother Virgie, took the train to the St Louis World’s Fair for their honeymoon in 1904. The following year, their first child, Emily Catherine, was born.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Emily graduated from college and taught school for a while until Grandpa convinced her to return to High Hill to take over the town’s post office as postmistress. The post office, conveniently enough, was located in his store. Emily lived with her parents in the house Catherine’s railroad money had built until she married in 1948. My cousin, Bernadette Catherine, owns the building today and it is still a post office.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My sister Judy, born in 1941, remembers going with Aunt Em to pick up bags of mail that, in the 1940s, were thrown from trains that passed through High Hill each day. Sometime in the late forties or early fifties, when passenger train service started declining, the postal service began delivering the mail to High Hill by truck.</span></p><div><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Throw grandpa from the train</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmvyercc8CLaZId_WqUuBvFOxRh1SuT9vzJNhjwx3D-Uf9X66o3B2DWvFHXC8RO5bBWWgEIa1FH3K1dGUfu0embNeNT28U-uUK1FCu52waLfcfN1jtK2DfNj9kbX42Gms7BkM7z07P58ZtLB9uCiHelygz0BxpFHMoMWwDF0uQpLHimvK1GNPWwpWR/s275/download.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmvyercc8CLaZId_WqUuBvFOxRh1SuT9vzJNhjwx3D-Uf9X66o3B2DWvFHXC8RO5bBWWgEIa1FH3K1dGUfu0embNeNT28U-uUK1FCu52waLfcfN1jtK2DfNj9kbX42Gms7BkM7z07P58ZtLB9uCiHelygz0BxpFHMoMWwDF0uQpLHimvK1GNPWwpWR/s1600/download.jpg" width="275" /></a></div><br /><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The story below about my grandfather, Gilbert II, appeared in the June 17, 1907 edition of the <i>Montgomery City (Mo.) Tribune</i>. Grandpa, 35 at the time, regularly took the train from High Hill to Montgomery City, where he had business interests. The trip passed through the town of New Florence. A few days before, the railroad had raised its fares from 2 cents to 3 cents a mile.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>New Florence, June 16</i></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>G.L. Dryden of High Hill was ejected from a Wabash passenger train here tonight for refusal to pay his fare of 3 cents a mile. Mr. Dryden tendered his fare at a 2-cent-per-mile rate, which was refused by Conductor Cunningham.</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I can’t help but wonder if the conductor ordered the train to stop or merely slowed it down for grandpa’s ejection. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>My father’s education</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhudhhNlk8orBZy79ALMl2Z-NRUZSeUSMX2mm8wBnHNGUiMU9lEVCwrYKakks3HIO_U1dbCvs5ZUZWM6vPMDglQ5Ib5UraeJ37P9tLR7957xMtUQN8S9hqEulQGTi6tPZUcTF8U6l-KrRT6VoivH4b40CW_4hGJxaJ9SJb7STZLbjvtW5mQFZ4fBpS9/s375/43774172_1410010884.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="250" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhudhhNlk8orBZy79ALMl2Z-NRUZSeUSMX2mm8wBnHNGUiMU9lEVCwrYKakks3HIO_U1dbCvs5ZUZWM6vPMDglQ5Ib5UraeJ37P9tLR7957xMtUQN8S9hqEulQGTi6tPZUcTF8U6l-KrRT6VoivH4b40CW_4hGJxaJ9SJb7STZLbjvtW5mQFZ4fBpS9/s320/43774172_1410010884.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My dad, Gilbert III, pictured in his <br /> Central Wesleyan College yearbook,<br /> took the train to and from class every day. </td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">From 1925, when he graduated from high school, until 1929, when he dropped out 16 credits shy of his degree, my father, Gilbert III, took the train every weekday from High Hill to Central Wesleyan College in Warrenton, a round-trip of 20 miles.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Without trains to whisk him back and forth, it’s likely his education would have ended after high school. Easy access to the railroad enabled him to open his eyes to the world around him and to get a good education. He studied Spanish, literature, business and especially loved the English poets. His favorite poem, Invictus -- he could recite it from memory -- was read at his funeral. I like to think he memorized it on the train as he rode back and forth to school.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b>Last train home </b><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjWc7ngs7Upz_GEFcE3BIuKWEw8NN0Pvs-l9W7Ix70uS9wj9RWy-wUmk28xoTOujc7F1H4qUO54jzh5nXznkm92NWbTjSRDrxZpfuGjRKPlknY07lyRpellzIBK1i18RVCxP9tmd3QI-FFbJBHiGOLfhCiZGJiQYHLMVRLNQZk96UwEXjyFPzZn9o1D" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="1200" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjWc7ngs7Upz_GEFcE3BIuKWEw8NN0Pvs-l9W7Ix70uS9wj9RWy-wUmk28xoTOujc7F1H4qUO54jzh5nXznkm92NWbTjSRDrxZpfuGjRKPlknY07lyRpellzIBK1i18RVCxP9tmd3QI-FFbJBHiGOLfhCiZGJiQYHLMVRLNQZk96UwEXjyFPzZn9o1D=w400-h160" width="400" /></a></b></div><b><br /></b><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">On November 20, 1951, the flag-draped casket of my 21-year-old cousin, James Timmerberg, who had been killed in the Korean War, was returned home to Montgomery City on a Wabash train where, according to his obituary in the <i>Montgomery Standard</i>, it was met by a military honor guard.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Jimmy was the son of my mother’s sister. My mother was unable to attend his funeral. She was in the hospital, having given birth to me three days before.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Hit by a freight train</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgpF7UoJUhBRrU4Jipj6aKyUNubKnYTuzD0ylwu5evS6qoOrjTIgkwkW3K-bBoYTqoCF3soMaIZZxR04BAvKtT3Rc6eg5k6b_CCjaLQZcfKAGdSD0n2_7GORI8iidR59TrhIn0o0AeMw9ous7QwEhLgb9jN-bdIH15quI6Pg6wz6RRVXg_kPzDwWZ1E" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="178" data-original-width="283" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgpF7UoJUhBRrU4Jipj6aKyUNubKnYTuzD0ylwu5evS6qoOrjTIgkwkW3K-bBoYTqoCF3soMaIZZxR04BAvKtT3Rc6eg5k6b_CCjaLQZcfKAGdSD0n2_7GORI8iidR59TrhIn0o0AeMw9ous7QwEhLgb9jN-bdIH15quI6Pg6wz6RRVXg_kPzDwWZ1E" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My hometown, Auxvasse, Mo., was served by the Gulf, Mobile & Ohio Railroad whose tracks ran behind my father’s store.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span>A county-owned road grader, kept in Auxvasse, was operated by a local man, Ted Mayes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ted, who, as far as I know, wasn’t related to Uncle Henry's mule or great-grandma Sarah, was driving his road grader across the tracks one day in the early 1950s when it was struck by a train. I can’t imagine how he could have been that careless. Only two freight trains a day passed through town and they pretty much came and went at the same time.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Hearing the crash, my father rushed to Ted’s side to help extract him from the wreckage.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Someone else ran to the schoolhouse to notify his wife, a teacher, and drove her to the hospital where he had been taken. She arrived at his bedside in an hysterical state, wailing, “Ted, Ted, how are you?”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">His answer: “How the hell do you think you’d feel if you got hit by a freight train?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It became the standard reply in my family whenever one of us was under the weather and someone asked how we were doing.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Tommy’s train</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjFlbKwKq034Lg4WF6JcAj_24zRtTMjQVxq3xvUbaJBVl2yqnubhflCDTzCpZlHChojVkNmcJJPgKMCjVpYxNxi8hXzTfAja_V4K2LCavL5c6s-QLcMoIbNmTNBdU5kAInnp4g4u2yRakHbb5TccQFcFDFhE7sxFYu7jgl1HfzllJ0h0_W05_JSJ5-5" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="206" data-original-width="245" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjFlbKwKq034Lg4WF6JcAj_24zRtTMjQVxq3xvUbaJBVl2yqnubhflCDTzCpZlHChojVkNmcJJPgKMCjVpYxNxi8hXzTfAja_V4K2LCavL5c6s-QLcMoIbNmTNBdU5kAInnp4g4u2yRakHbb5TccQFcFDFhE7sxFYu7jgl1HfzllJ0h0_W05_JSJ5-5" width="285" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I was five that Christmas morning in 1956 when I rushed down the stairs and found a Lionel 027 gauge model train circling the tree. Santa had left me a Lionel starter set — a dozen pieces of track that formed an oval; a locomotive that belched “steam” when a pellet was dropped in the smokestack; a coal car; a gondola; a flatcar that, at the push of a button, dumped plastic logs into a bin; a B&O boxcar, and a caboose.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Over the years, I added to the set — additional track, two switches (being part Tate, I was always careful not to get any appendages caught in them), a larger transformer, more rolling stock, a pair of Santa Fe “Super Chief” diesel engines, electrically-powered buildings, trestles, bridges, a lighted crossing gate, and a shack from which a guard carrying a lantern emerged as the train approached. My favorite purchase was a set of passenger cars I found at a resale shop that revealed the backlit silhouettes of passengers inside. I cherished every piece and spent countless hours with those trains up to the time I went to college when the entire collection was destroyed by a basement flood.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>My sons’ train set</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When I had sons of my own in the 1980s, I decided they would surely love trains as much as I did. How could they not? When the oldest turned one, I bought him a Lionel Cheerios boxcar. Over the next seven or eight years I bought an engine, more cars, track or other accessories for every birthday and holiday. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When the set was complete, neither son showed any interest and I eventually sold the train on eBay. The boys never looked up from their video games long enough to ask what happened to it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><b>Trainspotting </b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio0OC34vdOw0v8mfbu5i_kkevNf8R6ToXPjQRYkqdNTM08a4u2l45t3HclQYb9c_S2hv0EZ26mM5c-k_cZnB-h1XWsmu7Sh5x9v9oXvSrLBmGFVj8K1Z2nS70DCR9lKjLN7B3Az-DWDbaCNMtN-hLiwu1vtgTXKmzjSXeLashDBG_NSQTQPedWxnxW" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="182" data-original-width="277" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEio0OC34vdOw0v8mfbu5i_kkevNf8R6ToXPjQRYkqdNTM08a4u2l45t3HclQYb9c_S2hv0EZ26mM5c-k_cZnB-h1XWsmu7Sh5x9v9oXvSrLBmGFVj8K1Z2nS70DCR9lKjLN7B3Az-DWDbaCNMtN-hLiwu1vtgTXKmzjSXeLashDBG_NSQTQPedWxnxW" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wabash depot, Mexico, Mo.</td></tr></tbody></table><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Mexico, 11 miles north of Auxvasse, was served by two passenger lines, the Wabash and CB&Q. When I was in elementary school, mom would go shopping in Mexico every few weeks and whenever she did, I went along. While she was trying on dresses and shoes downtown, I’d buy myself a bag of malted milk balls at Woolworth's, then walk the four blocks to the depot to watch the trains come and go. (Understandably, given her grandmother’s unfortunate accident, mom would warn me to be careful and look both ways before crossing the tracks.)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I loved to see the passengers, most dressed in their Sunday best, as they embarked or disembarked, and was especially thrilled whenever the daily Union Pacific express from St. Louis to Kansas City, which didn’t have time to stop in a podunk town like Mexico, streaked past on the center track.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I also helped myself to the free schedules that were available for the taking in the station, and spent hours pouring over combinations of rail routes that would take me from Mexico to places I figured I’d never get to, like Seattle, Charleston or Flagstaff. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b>He's leaving (leaving) … on the midnight train to Cleveland</b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Twice, I even got to ride the rails myself.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The summer after first grade, my brother Jerry and his wife, Nancy, had their first daughter. Shortly afterward, Jerry, an Army officer, was posted to Cleveland and my mother went for a visit and took me along. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I still recall the wondrous aroma that wafted through that Wabash train when we boarded it — antiseptic to be sure, but full of air that had entered the car somewhere unimaginably exotic like Omaha or Moberly.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We changed trains at St. Louis Union Station and I will never forget what I ordered in the dining car for dinner that night — Salisbury steak, the most delicious meal I’ve eaten before or since. Then and there I decided that, when I grew up, I would be a train engineer, and for years told everyone who asked that was what I wanted to be.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">That trip inspired me to send a one-paragraph letter describing my railroad adventure to <i>Jack & Jill</i>, a magazine for grade school children, which reprinted letters from its young readers nationwide. It was printed in one of the fall issues, and I was thrilled to see my first byline (<i>Tommy Dryden, 6, Missouri</i>) in print. That magazine was ruined in the basement flood along with my electric trains.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Two summers later, when Jerry was stationed in Battle Creek, Michigan, mom and I took another long-distance rail trip —this time to see his and Nancy’s second daughter who had just been born. In downtown Chicago, we took a taxi between Union Station and Dearborn Station. All those gray high-rise towers and hordes of people rushing to and fro on the sidewalks were fascinating. I vowed I would someday live there. And I did for two years in my mid-twenties.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">At some point in the 1960s, long-distance passenger rail service went poof. By the time I was old enough to take a train somewhere on my own, they were gone.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Summer of 1972</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjO5w0Ah1iOmRLaPs7DE675fJ36hUVBA8xgpw9aG8qyz_tORuaCj9yz9zOhfyJ1FBS86VFhxQQ6EpFd0RjZ0pm9j2_Rpj0_caQV5Mhx-3LR8Uy7_awxrZH1GaX3ZKR2GkC0vQJ5KCXAKhkMCxgp2nN-RVc85XMrPov83qFimWAWAj-j3FngQW5DGaET" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1069" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjO5w0Ah1iOmRLaPs7DE675fJ36hUVBA8xgpw9aG8qyz_tORuaCj9yz9zOhfyJ1FBS86VFhxQQ6EpFd0RjZ0pm9j2_Rpj0_caQV5Mhx-3LR8Uy7_awxrZH1GaX3ZKR2GkC0vQJ5KCXAKhkMCxgp2nN-RVc85XMrPov83qFimWAWAj-j3FngQW5DGaET=w213-h320" width="213" /></a></div><br /><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In the summer of 1972, between my junior and senior years of college, I went to Europe and criss-crossed the continent using a Eurail pass. The pass, for a mere $130, entitled students to hop aboard just about any train or ferry that wasn’t behind the Iron Curtain -- no reservation needed.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I flew to Switzerland with a friend from High Hill I knew through my cousins, the younger siblings of Gilbert IV.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>My buddy was going to spend the entire summer in Europe. I only had six weeks, so we agreed we would split up halfway through my trip. That way he could visit the places he wanted to see at a leisurely pace, and I could cram all the “must-see” sites I wanted to visit into my condensed time frame.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Over six weeks I trained from Zurich to Geneva, Barcelona, Rome, Paris, London, Oxford, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Malmo, Koblenz, Basel and back to Zurich for my flight home. Excluding my roundtrip air ticket and Eurrail pass, I had only $500 to spend so, often as not, I took long-distance trains at night to save on lodging expenses.</span> </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><b>Another Dryden honeymoon by train</b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Like my grandparents, my wife and traveled by train on our honeymoon.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In 1976. we flew to Germany where we based ourselves with Jerry and his family, who were stationed in Heidelberg. From there we took trains to visit Munich, the Rhine Valley, Paris and Switzerland. In Lucerne, my wife fell in love with something she had never seen before, a long- haired dachshund. We bought our first as soon as we got home and haven’t been without one since.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The next year, we explored the U.K. on BritRail passes that took us from London to Oxford, Edinburgh, Glasgow and a Brigadoon-like remote Scottish island named Bute.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We’ve been back and forth across the pond many times since. We've usually stayed in cities or rented cars to see the countryside but, on occasion, we’ve taken trains. The last European train we took was from center of Lyon, France, to the airport in 2019.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Commuting to Manhattan by Metro North</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhpcF6UjncwZ-euah8HWZcLbTfjWDGvIrN9GBaaRlOcoWA_9Dg6lDPd9RrIvu1GxdyJHMkhUkHHzkjM1KN4LIqiKP9EVMdvSLjwS_yt6bmqRxYaxaUKTmgvr4tfuz9_2lbJmrPQPnwQ-gK-uz6q33iEZr2xsFsl02VNVtIGiBctZIzS70QNNUy3g50b" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhpcF6UjncwZ-euah8HWZcLbTfjWDGvIrN9GBaaRlOcoWA_9Dg6lDPd9RrIvu1GxdyJHMkhUkHHzkjM1KN4LIqiKP9EVMdvSLjwS_yt6bmqRxYaxaUKTmgvr4tfuz9_2lbJmrPQPnwQ-gK-uz6q33iEZr2xsFsl02VNVtIGiBctZIzS70QNNUy3g50b" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Metro North train pulls into the<br />South Norwalk station</td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We moved from Chicago to New York in 1978. In 1983, shortly after the birth of son #1, we relocated to Connecticut, a 50-minute Metro North train ride from Grand Central station.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">For most of the eighties, I commuted back and forth by train to Manhattan every weekday. In 1991, I went to work for an ad agency headquartered in the Chrysler Building, just across Lexington Avenue from Grand Central. From 1996 until I retired in 2010, I commuted into the city once, maybe twice, a week, and while I got tired of the rush hour traffic to and from the South Norwalk station where I usually had trouble finding a parking spot and had to run to catch the train, I never minded the ride. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Most of my fellow commuters dozed, read the <i>Wall Street Journal</i> or <i>New York Times</i>, or played cards. Not me — I found that the forward motion of the train almost magically empowered me to be at my creative best and to tune out everything around me. Writing on legal pads and, later, on laptops, I came up with some of my best work on Metro North, and will always look back on my commutes with awe that I was able to turn the time most passengers frittered away into the most productive hours of my working life.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><br /></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>The train ride I’ll never be allowed to forget<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Lest this all sound somehow glamorous to those who’ve watched too many episodes of <i>Mad Men</i> in which 1960s suburbanite Don Draper rode the rails to and from his Manhattan agency, my most memorable Metro North ride —one my wife will never let me forget — took place a few weeks after we had moved to Connecticut.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I had enjoyed a long lunch with friends at a Mexican restaurant in Manhattan, after which, having downed mucho margaritas, I made my way — I think I walked but I’m not sure, I may have cabbed — to Grand Central and hopped aboard the train to Connecticut. We had just moved a few weeks before and, at that point, had only one car so my wife had to meet me at the station. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Once the train started moving I knew I was in trouble. When it stopped at Harlem’s elevated 125th Street Station, I got out and vomited all over the platform. By the time I finished, the train had left the station. So I waited for the next northbound train and boarded that. At the next stop, Pelham, I got off and puked again. My “get off the train, puke, catch the next one” routine continued at every station — New Rochelle, Port Chester, Greenwich, Old Greenwich, Stamford, Noroton Heights, Darien and Rowayton — until I finally arrived in South Norwalk looking like death. Cell phones hadn’t been invented so I hadn't been able to notify my wife I was running late. She was furious -- she and the baby had been waiting at the station for four hours. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">I never did that again. Heck, I rarely even visited the bar car. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Trains in popular culture</b></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">\</div></div></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQB0tt_AaurKNIDFLkSR9dMkikLmWGp2LBKx_pWNwvil5ah7ZfW3HeTtVtYGlFRB7ezz40zxDDcDVcLIZEwRKfkNFsh89D3fZTcw4fWdNQlKE_rrFriJ4sGkzVSDysKAspN1IyxQv-0NvgsVjPFUnD2SZDty-fP2D3WeTKeVTYOuwt4tnU5RXv8Fnd/s789/tr7100101.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="789" data-original-width="610" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQB0tt_AaurKNIDFLkSR9dMkikLmWGp2LBKx_pWNwvil5ah7ZfW3HeTtVtYGlFRB7ezz40zxDDcDVcLIZEwRKfkNFsh89D3fZTcw4fWdNQlKE_rrFriJ4sGkzVSDysKAspN1IyxQv-0NvgsVjPFUnD2SZDty-fP2D3WeTKeVTYOuwt4tnU5RXv8Fnd/s320/tr7100101.jpg" width="247" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></div><br /></div><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">It's amazing how many books, movies and songs revolve around trains. A quick look at my iPhone music library reveals eleven train songs (see below) and I'd have to guess my playlist contains at least a dozen more.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys Knight</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">This Train by Peter Paul & Mary</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Canadian Railroad Trilogy by Gordon Lightfoot</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Long Train Running by Doobie Brothers</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Peace Train by Cat Stevens<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Love Train by the OJs,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">9 to 5 (Morning Train) by Sheena Easton<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">City of New Orleans by Arlo Guthrie<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The L&N Don’t Stop Here Any More by Kathy Mattea <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Homeward Bound by Simon & Garfunkel</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Just Like This Train, Joni Mitchell</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">How many train songs on your play list? Count 'em up, the number may surprise you. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b>The next generation of Drydens ride the rails</b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">My daughter-in-law and grandsons, who just turned 9 and 7, last summer took the Eurostar train from London to Paris, riding through the "chunnel" under the English Channel. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">Last weekend the boys accompanied their parents from their home in D.C. to New York, riding Amtrak to and from Penn Station. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">I'd like to give them an electric train for Christmas but doubt it could compete with the video games they always bring on their train rides. But I'd be happy to play with it. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><b>Last but not least, highlights from my railroad poster collection</b></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">For 40+ years I’ve collected vintage advertising posters, mostly travel-related. Many feature trains from places as far flung as the American Southwest, Britain, Yugoslavia, Armenia and Germany. Here are some of my favorites. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span>The poster at the bottom was produced by the New Haven Railroad during WWII and is a fitting way to end this post,</span><span> a reminder that trains not only helped build the world as we know it, they helped save it. I've reprinted the poster's text below its photo. By the time you finish reading it, you'll have a tear in your eye, lump in your throat, or both. </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA8J_s82Pvnmpcy9g0-RjV1H6m5d8cJy_03kRVXfVfhxCkjK17TGXmcGS1-JjhLsReZM2lzyDMqgLHm-su7VgOGlrXLQ8O8GqCnv-A5daz_1dX0OLVBz_Qv2WygJ_HvxD3Rbbr08Y3-iEGUQgRpYSsjr5Y27vJXdBwf9GwmsSMWIHk2Q1q5Rivnv8o/s2503/DSCF2610.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2503" data-original-width="1612" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA8J_s82Pvnmpcy9g0-RjV1H6m5d8cJy_03kRVXfVfhxCkjK17TGXmcGS1-JjhLsReZM2lzyDMqgLHm-su7VgOGlrXLQ8O8GqCnv-A5daz_1dX0OLVBz_Qv2WygJ_HvxD3Rbbr08Y3-iEGUQgRpYSsjr5Y27vJXdBwf9GwmsSMWIHk2Q1q5Rivnv8o/s320/DSCF2610.JPG" width="206" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0LtKxF7YXSOoV9aCziwpjHS2FnHTwkyv4EsoUSMeOSgmipC4i9oPN5c1jMyfrRE86Q0QjOO7wAsCMKWvMmYbfNkoUHfb5uqbUpyKNIlr9aZnZ9y0Su6VwrkBndDxezlaF_K_-knyPLDojII8HnWsQrZsfFiBgdIC3MJQs76-rnK_PGcwB1OGYu6mi/s2486/DSCF2848.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2486" data-original-width="1736" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0LtKxF7YXSOoV9aCziwpjHS2FnHTwkyv4EsoUSMeOSgmipC4i9oPN5c1jMyfrRE86Q0QjOO7wAsCMKWvMmYbfNkoUHfb5uqbUpyKNIlr9aZnZ9y0Su6VwrkBndDxezlaF_K_-knyPLDojII8HnWsQrZsfFiBgdIC3MJQs76-rnK_PGcwB1OGYu6mi/s320/DSCF2848.JPG" width="223" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; 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font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENcMu5AgFGAoaixh8pdXU8n2cAWvuoZgZMtQkk7ftlLGfy0cv-3IFIBhF0QpBcsAcoRD5uSv7LBVYiHoVe3mrcdtb41xajNSPqR7irqwNQpETi7DQemMHYugQrh5sAbOtq8Mk-cKCPtQryRDE2stEYHLqTbZ1fnwSGQA3CRaa2ZO1Z5PrIunzB8tx/s948/13709875_10205544670090646_5080928522254748674_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="948" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENcMu5AgFGAoaixh8pdXU8n2cAWvuoZgZMtQkk7ftlLGfy0cv-3IFIBhF0QpBcsAcoRD5uSv7LBVYiHoVe3mrcdtb41xajNSPqR7irqwNQpETi7DQemMHYugQrh5sAbOtq8Mk-cKCPtQryRDE2stEYHLqTbZ1fnwSGQA3CRaa2ZO1Z5PrIunzB8tx/s320/13709875_10205544670090646_5080928522254748674_n.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><b>The Kid in Upper Four</b></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">It is 3:42 a.m. on a troop train.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Men wrapped in blankets are breathing heavily.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Two in every lower berth. One in every upper.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">This is no ordinary trip. It may be their last in the U.S.A. till the end of the war. Tomorrow they will be on the high seas.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">One is wide awake ... listening ...staring into the blackness.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>It is the Kid in Upper 4.</i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"> _____________________</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Tonight, he knows, he is leaving behind a lot of little things -- and big ones.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">The taste of hamburgers and pop ... the feel of driving a roadster over a six-lane highway ... a dog named Shucks ... or Spot, or Barnacle Bill.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">The pretty girl who writes so often ... that gray-haired man, so proud and awkward at the station ... the mother who knit the socks he'll wear soon.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Tonight he's thinking them over.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">There's a lump in his throat. And maybe -- a tear fills his eye. <i>It doesn't matter, Kid</i>. </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Nobody will see ... it's too dark.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /> _____________________</span></p><div><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">A couple of thousand miles away, where he's going, they don't know him very well.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">But people all over the world are waiting, praying for him to come.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><i>And he will come</i>, this Kid in Upper 4.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">With new hope, peace and freedom for a tired, bleeding world.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /> _____________________</span></p><div><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></div><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Next time you are on the train, <i>remember the Kid in Upper 4</i>.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">If you have to stand en route -- <i>it is so he may have a seat.</i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">If there is no berth for you -- <i>it is so that he may sleep</i>.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><br /></i></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">If you have to wait for a seat in the diner -- it is so he ... <i>and thousands like him ... may have a meal they won't forget in the days to come</i>.</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">For to treat him as our most honored guest is the least we can do </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">to pay a mighty debt of gratitude. </p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>THE NEW HAVEN R.R.</b></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;">Serving the great industrial states of Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Connecticut</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: center;"><br /></p></div>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-74489861726585481232023-02-04T13:25:00.028-05:002023-02-04T13:40:21.341-05:00My Chinese Balloon Nightmare<p><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihqUD5hN-canv9Deo1-D-0NMTcxyUAiZmN44H9IXPqTqFEbxeoMxTtIw9n9k5H82m-tGXbyg1W12W5UY0EWSPTffoKCyQanj3C0qPYTH34a6WKHZFuuYcf7tPzK4_0cj_Tpi2eEzbFvRa5l2RPB908aYefwwLfdciiPp28rw3yGBqOQ7TLuqZVO6iR" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="260" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEihqUD5hN-canv9Deo1-D-0NMTcxyUAiZmN44H9IXPqTqFEbxeoMxTtIw9n9k5H82m-tGXbyg1W12W5UY0EWSPTffoKCyQanj3C0qPYTH34a6WKHZFuuYcf7tPzK4_0cj_Tpi2eEzbFvRa5l2RPB908aYefwwLfdciiPp28rw3yGBqOQ7TLuqZVO6iR" width="320" /></a></span></div><br /><p></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I had a dream last night that was so bizarre and disturbing I had to write it down so I could try to figure out what it meant before I forgot it. </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Congress had held a contest, inviting people to submit slogans to unify the American people. My elderly mother, Ruby (who died eight years ago), and I were attending the event on the grounds of the Washington Monument at which the winning slogan was to be announced. (Ruby loved coming up with slogans and name suggestions for new products and was always sure her entry would win.) Mom had submitted her slogan. I had struggled to think of a decent one myself. (<i>“We The People?"</i> Trite and expected — millions of people would submit that. <i>“Aspire Higher?”</i> No, that was the theme of a Jell-O contest I worked on in the 1980s and would almost certainly become the butt of jokes because half the people in this country are high anyway. <i>“Come Together?”</i> An ugly Beatles song -- they were English so that right there would have disqualified it -- and it would also be ridiculed because it implied a nation in the throes of simultaneous orgasms. I came up with slogans for a living and often have dreams about being charged with creating them for clients. Those dreams become nightmares when I’m unable to think of anything that meets my standards and I panic, knowing I’m still under the client’s deadline.)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> I hadn't sent in an entry.</span></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I was in the first row, directly in front of a generic curly-haired Congresswoman who was facing the crowd from the dias above me. (I don’t know her name but this same woman seems to be front and center at every Congressional hearing. Maybe she’s a clerk, not a Congresswoman.) Ruby was also in the first row, four or five chairs away, with a smug look of anticipation on her face, She was confident her slogan was going to win.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I overheard GC (Generic Congresswoman) tell a colleague that the winning theme had to be submitted by a minority. That pissed me off. I felt the winner should be the person who submitted the best theme. Insisting the winner had to tick the right box or boxes flew in the face of the contest’s purpose. Rather than emphasizing our togetherness, it further divided us and I told her so.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">.</span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">GC leaned over the dias and handed me a piece of paper on which someone had written “Square Deal” and whispered, “Can you believe the slogan that old lady submitted?” indicating my mom.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“‘Square Deal’” was the name of one of FDR’s programs,” I replied, realizing why mom had submitted it —<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Ruby worshipped FDR. (I looked up “Square Deal” this morning and it was, indeed, a Roosevelt program, but not an FDR initiative. FDR’s “deal” was the “New Deal.” Square Deal was the name of Theodore Roosevelt’s three-pronged domestic program covering conservation, control of corporations and consumer protection. So I learned something new. Or, rather, learned something I had learned long ago in American History class but forgotten.)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“It’s stupid,” GC said dismissively. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“I agree it doesn't meet the objective but she’s my mother and 102 years old which makes her a minority,” I replied angrily, but GC wasn’t listening. Like everyone else in the crowd she was looking up to the sky where a gigantic Chinese weather balloon, equipped with a lighted billboard like the Goodyear blimp that flies over the Super Bowl, was hovering while flashing the winning slogan: “We Are The Stars in the Sky.” Everyone in the crowd was smiling and nodding their heads, agreeing it was the perfect theme.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">“Wait one minute!” I said. “That’s the lyric from the chorus of a Chris De Burgh song, ‘Elegy in a Country Churchyard,’ from an album I owned 40 years ago.” (I always thought that chorus would make a great jingle for my airline client except the song was about a young couple who got married, lived long lives, died, and were buried side by side in the churchyard and no song equating death with an airline would have ever been appropriate.)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>“That doesn’t make any sense!” I yelled. “At all!” But nobody could hear my protest — the crowd was applauding.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Then I woke up, realizing I had to hurry if I didn’t want to miss bridge class.</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What the hell was my dream about?</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Wanting to make sure my mother’s feelings weren’t hurt?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Worrying I’ve lost my ability to do what I did for a living? Being concerned that inept politicians think idiotic slogans will do anything to fix what’s broken with this country? Fretting that a good idea is no longer as important as the type of person who submits it? Being incredulous that a giant balloon is floating across my country while we act like nothing is wrong?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Have I gone completely nuts?</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Probably all of the above. And then some.</span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-54212128953278097712023-01-26T12:12:00.000-05:002023-01-26T12:12:52.816-05:00THE EXORCISM <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1vEqIUwXiRdwIkEztXVO2Gute1-ys0U9TBvK3pqQo5f7aaoJLKuizeVAlGAOa9FABvsOeVuXF9GOctztJYgJ55DAwsgSKGlaIvb9b57bn4zmUpysYuBGZGp_pawQM-lgVlhyD44ZJrdH-cIu2WBPKm5-tsZsFO24ZEwgOFA5qywmvY7MPxdqoc_BK/s318/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="159" data-original-width="318" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1vEqIUwXiRdwIkEztXVO2Gute1-ys0U9TBvK3pqQo5f7aaoJLKuizeVAlGAOa9FABvsOeVuXF9GOctztJYgJ55DAwsgSKGlaIvb9b57bn4zmUpysYuBGZGp_pawQM-lgVlhyD44ZJrdH-cIu2WBPKm5-tsZsFO24ZEwgOFA5qywmvY7MPxdqoc_BK/s1600/download.jpg" width="318" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Phone rings. I pick it up.<p></p><p><b>TD:</b> Hello.</p><p><b>Caller:</b> This is (name garbled) from (name garbled). I'm calling to schedule Judith's exorcism.</p><p><b>TD</b>: Exorcism! You have the wrong number.</p><p><b>Caller (loudly and slowly):</b> I. SAID. THIS. IS. DOCTOR. (DERMATOLOGIST'S NAME). OFFICE. I'm calling to schedule Judith's "excision."</p><p><b>TD:</b> I'm sorry, I don't have my hearing aids in. She's not home right now.</p><p><b>Caller:</b> That's quite alright. That's the funniest thing I've heard all year. Please have her call us when she gets in.</p><p><b>TD:</b> I will. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-17017718237154979422023-01-15T14:35:00.006-05:002023-01-16T10:07:18.824-05:00Another day in technology hell<p><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></b></p><p><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1V1UjPJ0HRLZhSpauMTQ5OdjnBdralGJrfRUJAETwZ1SnDNuz79Qngzp4S8ctlzoJt7kqkjxjLXS0eSth7ueM9Xel5X6l0oXZH6oBkKGIedtEIvtYOlyN5TzEkH3JRRJ4LLwfNDsR5yTkyNqrIjV1Nb4NbTuhJnD4CK-fNcHO7AEu_ARCHmYzMfnH" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="650" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1V1UjPJ0HRLZhSpauMTQ5OdjnBdralGJrfRUJAETwZ1SnDNuz79Qngzp4S8ctlzoJt7kqkjxjLXS0eSth7ueM9Xel5X6l0oXZH6oBkKGIedtEIvtYOlyN5TzEkH3JRRJ4LLwfNDsR5yTkyNqrIjV1Nb4NbTuhJnD4CK-fNcHO7AEu_ARCHmYzMfnH" width="320" /></a></b></div><b style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></b><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>September 17, 2022: </b> I get an email from my insurance agent. She says my homeowner's insurance company insists that my house's breaker boxes be replaced; boxes made by the company that manufactured mine have reportedly caught fire. If the boxes aren't replaced by the end of January, the insurer will drop my coverage. She estimates the replacement boxes will cost around $1200 including labor -- that's what she paid for the same job earlier this year. I make a mental note to call an electrician later in the fall to have the boxes replaced. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>September 28:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Hurricane Ian strikes Southwest Florida. Thousands of nearby homes are destroyed. Thousands more are flooded. Luckily, our damage is minor compared to the devastation around us. But by the time our power is restored nine days later, every electrician within 100 miles is booked well into the new year.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Mid-October:</b> Having called more than a dozen electricians (most of whom don’t bother calling back) I email the insurance agent that I can’t find anyone. She gives me contact info for two electricians she says will definitely do the work as a favor for her because she sends a lot of referrals their way. They don’t call back either.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Mid-December:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I finally receive two estimates on the same day. The one who quoted $5800 can’t get to the job until May. The other, whose office is 30 miles away, quotes $3250 and says he can install the boxes sometime in mid-to-late January. I tell him he has the job but stretch the truth when I say the work has to be finished by January 20 instead of the end of the month. Living in the heart of Hurricane Alley, we can’t be without insurance for even a minute. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Wednesday, January 11</b></span><b>, 8:15 a.m</b>.: The electrician sends me a text saying he is emailing a PDF permit form that needs to be filed with the City of Bonita Springs before he can start the job. He says I need to print it out, sign it and have it notarized, and return it to him, by mail, ASAP if I want the work complete by January 20.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8:20 a.m.:</b> I text him that the email hasn’t arrived, and ask him to make sure he is spelling my last name correctly.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8:45</b>:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He texts that he re-sent it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>8:57</b>: I text him back that I still haven’t got it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:10:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He texts that he re-sent it again.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:15:</b> I text that I didn’t get it, and provide him with my other email address, which doesn't contain my last name. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:17:</b> He texts that he sent the PDF to my secondary email account.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:19:</b> I text him I didn’t get that either and ask him to send it to my wife’s email.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:20:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>My wife receives the email and successfully forwards it to the email address that didn’t receive it in the first place.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:21:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I send the PDF file to my inkjet printer. It prints out a blank page. Over the next five minutes I hit “print” repeatedly; it prints out blank pages repeatedly.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>No owners’ manual came with the damn printer, so I have to search the internet to find out how to resolve the issue.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>9:45:</b> After scrolling through pages of useless troubleshooting information (Sample: If the printer isn’t working, make sure it is plugged in), I learn that the black ink cartridge must be empty. It isn’t — my MacBook diagnostics tool can measure the amount of ink left — but it is, indeed, running low, so I drive two miles to an Office Depot store to buy a replacement.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10:14:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I leave the store with a cartridge the floor clerk assures me will work, even though my printer’s model number isn’t listed on the package. The clerk says they have been out of the cartridge for my printer for a while — supply chain issues — but that the one he found, after looking it up on his cell phone, will most definitely work.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10:33:</b> The new cartridge doesn’t vaguely resemble the old one.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> No way I can install this.</span></span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>10:50:</b> I return to Office Depot. The clerk I dealt with is “on break” (I’d like to break him) but the cashier acknowledges he shouldn’t have suggested the wrong cartridge and refunds my money. He says the Best Buy store down the street stocks cartridges and suggests I go there.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11:11:</b> Best Buy doesn’t have the cartridge either.</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11:22:</b> I return to Office Depot and ask the guy behind the desk at the Business Center if I can send a PDF file from my smart phone that he can print out for me. He says that, under normal circumstances, he could, but the store’s email is down.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>11:24:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I head for the nearest Staples store, eight miles away. Then I remember that <a href="http://staples.com"><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;">staples.com</span></a> allows shoppers to check and see if their local store has the item they want in stock. I check staples.com. Good thing I didn’t drive all that way —the nearest store doesn’t have the item. Nor does the next-closest Staples. But Staples’ Ft Myers store, 12 miles away, has it. I order, pay for it online and receive an email that it will be ready for pick-up within the hour but not to leave for the store yet — I’ll get an email when the order is ready.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1:30 p.m.:</b> The email arrives.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>1:55:</b> I double-park in front of the Ft. Myers<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Staples store, run inside, and pick up my cartridge.</span></p><p class="p3" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 13px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b></b></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2:27:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I insert the cartridge into the printer. It prints out a blank page. Again and again.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>2:55: </b>The printer online manual says that sometimes, if the three color ink cartridges are low on ink, the black cartridge won’t print either, so I’ll need to replace those, too. Why didn’t it say “Replace all four cartridges at once” in the first place?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>My MacBook diagnostics tool says the color cartridges aren’t empty but are only 25 to 30 percent full— odd since I rarely print in color — but I’m running out of time, so I head back to Office Depot for replacements.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3:11:</b> The clerk I dealt with this morning is back on the sales floor. I swear he has a new piercing — that must be what he did on his break. After searching the shelves and back room, he says the store doesn’t have the exact color cartridges for my machine but he is 100 percent sure the ones they have in stock will work. I’m not falling for that ca-ca again. As I head to the parking lot, I text five friends asking if any of them will print out a page for me. Only one replies: He is on a plane in Connecticut that’s taxiing for take-off.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3:30:</b> One of the neighbors calls, says he just saw my text and, of course, will be happy to print the page for me. I email it to him.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3:33:</b> I pick up the page from my friend and tell him I’m in a hurry — I need to get it notarized before the bank closes at 4 — but will explain later.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>3:50:</b> I hold open the door of the bank for a stooped-over elderly gent (and I don’t say that lightly, I’m 71) carrying a briefcase, and follow him into the lobby. He tells the Customer Service agent he needs a notary. I say I need one too, and am trying to get the document notarized so I can take it to the post office and put it in the mailbox before the last pick-up which I’m almost sure is 4:30. The old fuck says, “I was here first.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4:31</b> The ancient sonuvabitch apparently just bought a house or Twitter or something — he had so many documents that needed notarization he was in the notary’s office for 45 minutes. The notary apologizes she kept me waiting.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4:35:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Notarized permit in hand, I<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>leave the bank knowing I missed the last pick-up of the day at the P.O. but I drive there anyway on the off chance I was wrong.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>4:52:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>Amazing. One thing today has gone right — the last pick up is at 5 p.m.! I drop the form in the mailbox, drive home, pour myself a large drink, and text the electrician that the form is on its way.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>5:30:</b> I order the three color cartridges I still need from <a href="http://amazon.com"><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;">amazon.com</span></a>. I am never setting foot in an Office Depot again.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Saturday, 7 p.m.:</b> The amazon package arrives.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Sunday, 11:30 a.m.:</b><span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I install the three new ink cartridges in the printer and run a test page. Which prints blank.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"> </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-15563705547200611672023-01-05T11:33:00.001-05:002023-01-05T11:33:29.954-05:00Meet your new Speaker of the House: Me. <p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjt_Pv4fhryRvJAdtI3v6_x4DKXWuWhF2dyEUAxmPSuQvdBB_lstEj29Y56_6STfsoKmojMX3KBXC5CHcKeElYJKqBd1IBkoqdjSa6o_ccq1pXIksNxJCrABPy7UOAyXAdkfEDZj-Ld_Geu6i1W_uXjnEghKVq6LB_r6EX0bgk8hw2IyemtYP8iz272" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="429" data-original-width="474" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjt_Pv4fhryRvJAdtI3v6_x4DKXWuWhF2dyEUAxmPSuQvdBB_lstEj29Y56_6STfsoKmojMX3KBXC5CHcKeElYJKqBd1IBkoqdjSa6o_ccq1pXIksNxJCrABPy7UOAyXAdkfEDZj-Ld_Geu6i1W_uXjnEghKVq6LB_r6EX0bgk8hw2IyemtYP8iz272" width="265" /></a></span></div><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">As I write, the House of Representatives is getting ready to take a seventh vote to determine who will replace the Honorable Nancy Pelosi (D, California) as Speaker.</span></p><p><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">The media is reporting that Kevin McCarthy, who expected to be elected but has come up short six times, met overnight with the fellow Republicans whose votes he needs to put him over the top and his supporters claim they are confident he will prevail this time. As a contingency plan, in the event McCarthy loses on his seventh try, I have been approached by members of both parties to have my name placed in nomination for the position on the next ballot — the Speaker doesn’t have to be an elected member of Congress — and after much thoughtful deliberation and prayer, I have consented. If my country needs me, I'm willing to serve. Here’s why I'm perfect for the job.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">1. I’ve been both a Democrat and a Republican. Multiple times. Right now I consider myself an Independent — both parties make me want to hurl. I understand what Congresspeople from both sides of the aisle want most: To leave the Capitol richer than the day they were sworn in for the first time.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">2. I support the Democrats on some social issues, e.g. I’m against racism. I support the Republicans on others, e.g. prohibiting women who formerly were equipped with peni (if I remember my Latin correctly, I’m almost sure that’s the way to pluralize the word) from competing in women’s sports and earning all the trophies and scholarships. We need to keep open minds when it comes to empowering people but use common sense. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">3. I grew up in a tiny extremely conservative town in America's heartland. I spent most of my adult life in Manhattan and its suburbs, the epicenters of liberalism. I know how to get along with people from all walks of life and, more importantly, how to get them to work together. By the time I leave office, Marjorie Taylor Green and Adam Schiff will be BFFs.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">4. Having no party affiliation, I’ll be free to allow bills that actually benefit the majority of Americans into committee and on to the floor for a final vote. What a concept.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">5. Because I won't be campaigning for myself or my fellow party members, I promise to be a one-term Speaker, after which I’ll write a book, land a deal from Netflix, give highly paid speeches to both liberal and conservative groups, and start my own lobbying firm. These are rewards I’ll deserve after living for two years in Washington, D.C., a town so mired in useless laws that I was asked for my I.D. when I ordered a drink in a restaurant last week. The waiter explained local law requires him to ask everyone.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Please call your Congressperson — this very minute, there's no time to waste — and tell him, her or them to vote for Thomas (Tom) Dryden on the eighth ballot.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Thank you, and God bless America. And, of course, me. And you.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-64631270389231396292022-12-29T12:22:00.005-05:002022-12-29T13:17:56.907-05:00The triumph of George Santos is the failure of America's media<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgypSoaHkUsUIAjekdwIrUaJvgB3hFucUxgKf_WGw3h_njyx_dRfaNuqQ_gvmURFtDlBtlwhifX0d-57Q6yZ8LUQf8Adg3kT3kQQBTmh2SdhTb62vngCc7QrNwoO7Ma7ds1lzyGy6AKdupjAwIzkmgeEXdPNbqS0MlKHqstOvxDDKMXjUR9EOnH9-S7/s400/3c7278e0aedd1bed2a1a1eb366c549c9.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="228" data-original-width="400" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgypSoaHkUsUIAjekdwIrUaJvgB3hFucUxgKf_WGw3h_njyx_dRfaNuqQ_gvmURFtDlBtlwhifX0d-57Q6yZ8LUQf8Adg3kT3kQQBTmh2SdhTb62vngCc7QrNwoO7Ma7ds1lzyGy6AKdupjAwIzkmgeEXdPNbqS0MlKHqstOvxDDKMXjUR9EOnH9-S7/s320/3c7278e0aedd1bed2a1a1eb366c549c9.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; text-align: left;"> </span></div><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I am sure you have read or heard about George Santos, a Republican who last month won a seat representing New York's 3rd Congressional District. On second thought, maybe you haven't because you, like millions of Americans, no longer consume news "reported" by the mainstream media.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">During his campaign, Santos, a native of Brazil where he is wanted for elder fraud and check forgery, told voters he held multiple degrees and had been an executive at Goldman Sachs and Citigroup before leaving to start his own successful business.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>He said he was Jewish and that his grandparents were Holocaust survivors, that several of his employees died in the Pulse nightclub shooting, that he had attended the prestigious Horace Mann prep school but had to drop out because of family financial woes, and that his mother died of cancer as an indirect result of the 9/11 terrorist attacks which she somehow survived when the South Tower of the World Trade Center collapsed.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>The New York Times</i> last week revealed that none of those claims, and many others Santos has made, are true.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">My question is this: Where the hell was <i>The New York Times</i> when this clown was running for office? The answer: Publishing story after story about the incompetence of, and lies told by, a former president it fears and despises while ignoring the incompetence of, and lies told by, the current president whose political party it worships. If Santos were a Democrat and the NYT discovered his lies post-election, I doubt that any of them would have been published and that Santos would be sworn in next month with his hand on a Gutenberg Bible (the earliest of which, by the way, I recently purchased from a private dealer).<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Santos’ election was a triumph for him but represents everything that’s wrong with <i>The New York Times </i>and, by extension, America’s media which considers the <i>Times</i> to be the gold standard in journalism. Not. One. Single. Reporter from the <i>Times</i> or any other mainstream media ever took it upon himself/herself/themself to investigate Santos while he was running around making claims that were patently untrue. <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">As the former managing editor of the Associated Press, a position I assumed after I sold to Elon Musk the plans I had drawn up for the first mass-produced electric car, I know a thing or two about journalistic integrity and am outraged at the arrogance and laziness of <i>The New York Times</i> and the rest of the media who apparently sit on their duff eating bon-bons while obsessing about Trump who has been out of office for nearly two years. My advice for them: Get over Trump. He’s yesterday’s news. Do your job and report news that’s relevant today. Be advised that doing so may require you to actually log off the internet and make a few phone calls.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When I was working on my PhD in journalism at Harvard, whose journalism school was endowed by, and named after, my Iranian-born grandfather who made his fortune mining diamonds, my professors instilled in me the importance of reporters actually getting out in the field and digging out stories that help readers make informed decisions.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>The New York Times</i>, as it has repeatedly in the last few years as it has obsessed about Trump, has once again failed its readers and its mission. Which is why I am today announcing my intention to make an offer to purchase substantially all of its voting stock. I have hired Goldman Sachs (disclosure: Goldman is run by my wife)<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>to handle the deal and while I am constrained from revealing details at this point, suffice it to say the NYT’s shareholders won’t be able to refuse the price I’m willing to pay.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I assure you that once I’m in charge, <i>The New York Times’</i> credibility will be restored because I intend to fire its entire staff of TDS-addled editors and reporters and hire honest-to-God journalists.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Assuming that in today’s America, I can find any.</span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-9257245730530221432022-10-17T11:30:00.000-04:002022-10-17T11:30:20.733-04:00Tommy can you hear me?<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_kCkUK9dvf9tujpHiYdwdeISWbJDxL-TiRDx__FXm0CO9eqWhlRfgXKlACpvz6355MPzX34_MkCbau6Wf-A760xkSzChRfQI54JexIqmdtbZSeBmsztc357bvK9OvxZq7ImfiIC9hJOwKdTNmpDarhzgrF4o0XqhsZhEGS8ha7ohtc6kIEYKIlkil" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1300" data-original-width="1300" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_kCkUK9dvf9tujpHiYdwdeISWbJDxL-TiRDx__FXm0CO9eqWhlRfgXKlACpvz6355MPzX34_MkCbau6Wf-A760xkSzChRfQI54JexIqmdtbZSeBmsztc357bvK9OvxZq7ImfiIC9hJOwKdTNmpDarhzgrF4o0XqhsZhEGS8ha7ohtc6kIEYKIlkil" width="240" /></a></div><p></p><p><b>Lab assistant, reviewing a checklist at radiology center where I am about to have an MRI</b>: Do you have a pacemaker?</p><p><b>TD:</b> No</p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> Any other electronic implants or devices?</p><p><b>TD:</b> No.</p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> Stents?</p><p><b>TD:</b> No.</p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> Shunts?</p><p><b>TD:</b> No.</p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> Body piercings?</p><p><b>TD:</b> Nope. </p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> Hand grenades?</p><p><b>TD</b>: Hand grenades? Do I look like a terrorist? I'm a grandfather. I have white hair for Chrissakes!</p><p><b>Lab assistant:</b> I said "hearing aids."</p><p><b>TD</b>: Oh. I'm sorry I raised my voice. Yes, I do ... but I'm not wearing them today.</p><p><b>Clerk:</b> Obviously.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-89101530750371766942022-09-25T12:03:00.002-04:002022-09-25T12:24:45.204-04:00An important message from your insurance company<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvVxLvmC8phBRfjvSHC8vTLsCNHUHiJ8LX30kYzmJrg5MNJBgnOS6LEgEUX4ryIdrwzHHMPaFcdk2TTEwY1NQpiSjp4vOEb-GeMkyU2CBcbU3vunSiJXawnOgYV72TUr6WhNd5pYTGJ5WbBL3HljclSxfsSwDBoTzg_sB2iupmrqgpK2MWmM_YUWY/s603/145928.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="497" data-original-width="603" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQvVxLvmC8phBRfjvSHC8vTLsCNHUHiJ8LX30kYzmJrg5MNJBgnOS6LEgEUX4ryIdrwzHHMPaFcdk2TTEwY1NQpiSjp4vOEb-GeMkyU2CBcbU3vunSiJXawnOgYV72TUr6WhNd5pYTGJ5WbBL3HljclSxfsSwDBoTzg_sB2iupmrqgpK2MWmM_YUWY/s320/145928.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">Dear Valued Policyholder:</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue";"> </span><p></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">As you may be aware, Tropical Storm Ian is predicted to impact the Florida peninsula as a major hurricane sometime over the next few days. As your homeowner’s insurance provider, our first concern is the safety of our policyholders and their loved ones — the $20 billion or so we might have to pay out to cover damage claims is barely on our radar at this point. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><br /></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;">Accordingly, here are some tips to help you prepare for the storm:<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Turn off Netflix, and switch to your local TV station. No, not the one that shows reruns of <i>Gunsmoke </i>and <i>Murder She Wrote</i> 24/7, choose one that has “live” news and weather forecasters. If you speak English, choose a station that broadcasts in English. <i>Si hablas español, elige una estación que transmita en español. </i>IF YOU ARE HARD OF HEARING, TURN ON THE CLOSED CAPTIONS.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Secure your property. Bring in outside furniture, plastic flamingoes, your "Biden/Harris '24" and “Hate Has No Place Here” yard signs and anything else that could become a projectile in high winds.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Top off your vehicle’s gasoline tank. While there are only two ways out of the Florida peninsula — I-95 on the east coast and I-75 on the west — and both will be parking lots packed with millions of hysterical residents trying to flee so you’re unlikely to be able to travel more than a few miles before you give up and return home, at least your last thought as the storm surge washes you out to sea will be that you tried to escape.</span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Keep your cell phone fully charged, so you can take videos of trees bending to the ground, your neighbor’s roof being blown away and the water that will flood into your home at the height of the storm and text them to your friends up north.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> (Tip: Do not stand in front of picture window to shoot video if wind is gusting at more than 100 mph.)</span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Because the power is sure to go out — it always goes out on your street, even for hurricanes that hit Texas 1,000 miles west of you — eat all the food in your freezer because it will spoil. Be sure to thaw and cook meat products before you eat them.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Stock up with water, beer, Pop-Tarts, batteries and anything else you and your family will need to survive the coming days. (Note: Batteries are not intended for human consumption.)</span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Purchase enough baby formula to last a week. If, due to the current shortage, you can’t find any, feed your baby beer which will at least keep him/her/them hydrated and asleep. If you do not have a baby, feel free to ignore this tip.</span></li></ul><ul class="ul1"><li class="li1" style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"></span><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Don’t forget to bring any pets inside <i>before </i>the storm hits. As a reminder, your homeowner’s policy does not cover the cost of replacing pets who blow away, drown or are eaten by hungry alligators displaced from their ponds due to the storm.</span></li></ul><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Tomorrow we will be sending you an email containing tips for surviving in what's left of your home during the weeks and months after the hurricane while you wait for your check from us which may be delayed due to the U.S. Post Office which no longer cares about delivering anything but Amazon and eBay packages. Provided, of course, your home withstands the winds and/or that giant tree hanging over your house doesn’t come crashing down to destroy it and you.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Stay safe. Together, we will survive this storm. At least we will — this message is being sent from our headquarters in Illinois.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space">Sincerely,</span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Your insurance company</p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6245390442828526338.post-71500209885609132272022-09-14T12:03:00.012-04:002022-09-14T16:06:22.681-04:00Living on bread, mashed potatoes and Tootsie Roll Pops<p><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 11px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir0rQOTcVBHQ2jzZF6-_o1IagRmJ00fgPABlSHRLQ0HauaHCJ0nV9UK-FFOXF33m14elYyCosMKWVuclcWqu3Z0lSmS4bloLXy7OOHWwrhiZqyJbPuRlcgdtpER-PnlxfcERhCC9htdmqRKLKIGo4tIf6U0KK-fy3eDtE3ZFUrK6lMuAnUXf0oF92U/s500/product-images_colors_promotional-tootsie-lollipops-cicn757-assorted-1462438263.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="350" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir0rQOTcVBHQ2jzZF6-_o1IagRmJ00fgPABlSHRLQ0HauaHCJ0nV9UK-FFOXF33m14elYyCosMKWVuclcWqu3Z0lSmS4bloLXy7OOHWwrhiZqyJbPuRlcgdtpER-PnlxfcERhCC9htdmqRKLKIGo4tIf6U0KK-fy3eDtE3ZFUrK6lMuAnUXf0oF92U/s320/product-images_colors_promotional-tootsie-lollipops-cicn757-assorted-1462438263.jpg" width="224" /></a></div><br /><br /><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Almost everyone I know has had COVID except for me and my wife and I haven't understood why. While COVID is nothing I've ever aspired to, I'd like to know if I'm one of those people who is apparently immune. I've read that folks with O-negative blood -- my type -- are less likely to get it. And that men with full heads of hair are more resistant than balding men. (Thank you, grandpa, for that gene.) This may sound weird but in ways I have been feeling left out, like the last kid picked for the dodgeball team. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">We were vaccinated in February and March, 2021, and received our first booster in November. My doctor told me to put off having the second booster, and I was glad I followed his advice after friends came down with COVID within weeks after receiving it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Like most people, we stayed close to home during the early months of the pandemic. But by mid-summer 2020, we were venturing out, selectively, to restaurants and social events. Until a month after our second shot, we wore masks everywhere but as requirements eased, we stopped. I hadn’t worn a mask in months until week before last when I went to DC where Uber and Lyft passengers were required to mask up. (That requirement has since been lifted.)</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">This year almost everyone in our social circle — all of them vaccinated, many having had their second booster shots — has gotten COVID.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I haven’t understood how Judy and I somehow missed it.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Turns out I didn’t. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">Early this summer, I ran out of Irish Spring in the middle of a shower. I asked my wife to hand me a fresh bar. I love the scent of a brand new bar of soap but couldn’t smell it. To my amazement, I realized I couldn’t smell anything — her perfume, the dogs’ stinky breath, coffee, gasoline when I filled my tank, fresh bread baking in the oven. (Disclosure:<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>We’ve never made bread but if we had, I couldn’t have smelled it.) Cigars were the only scent I could detect and I smelled them everywhere — at home, at the gym, in the supermarket, at the dentist’s office. Neither I nor anybody I know smokes cigars. </p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Around the same time, food began to taste odd. I made a pot of my famous beef vegetable soup and threw it out — it was disgusting. I hadn’t deviated from the recipe so I assumed I’d used spoiled ingredients. We ordered a pizza and I couldn’t finish the first piece. You name it — cheese, meat (especially bacon), eggs, milk, cereal, vegetables, ice cream, basically anything and everything — either tasted gross or had no taste at all. The one exception was fruit-flavored hard candy. Even chocolate tasted awful. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">In early July I visited an ENT (Ear, Nose, Throat) practice. Naturally, I didn’t get to see the doctor — apparently one gets to see a new doctor these days only if a major appendage has been sawed off and is spurting blood like Old Faithful —<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I saw a Nurse Practitioner. She asked if I was aware my symptoms were consistent with COVID. I said of course I was but, to the best of my knowledge, I hadn’t had it. She asked if I had allergies. I said yes. She asked when I had last been tested for allergies. I said four or five years ago. She ordered a CAT scan of my sinuses. It revealed inflammation but nothing alarming. She then ordered new allergy tests. It took a month to get tested because the front office screwed up the preparation instructions. By this point,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>I was finding food repulsive and was subsisting on mashed potatoes, bread and Tootsie Roll Pops. I couldn’t taste the first two but they didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth like everything else did. The Tootsie Roll Pops tasted pretty much as they had back when they cost two cents each rather than a quarter.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Once the allergy test results confirmed I wasn’t severely allergic to anything that could be causing my problem, the Nurse Practitioner ordered an MRI of my brain. She said my symptoms might be caused by brain cancer, Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. Swell. But the front office screwed that up, too. I waited two weeks for the radiology center to call to schedule the MRI, as she said they would. I finally called them and learned they had never gotten the order. Nor had the pharmacy to which the nurse said she had sent my allergy prescriptions.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Disgusted with the idiot ENT practice, I did what I should have done in the first place and went to my regular GP this past Friday. He drew blood for a COVID Antibody Test and sent it to a testing center. Yesterday I learned that I apparently had asymptomatic COVID. The doctor estimates that, based on the strength of my antibodies, I had it sometime between three and four months ago. Last week, I read in the WSJ that up to 40 percent of those who get COVID have no symptoms at all. I was one of the 40 percent, and was enormously relieved to learn my loss of taste and smell is likely the result of COVID rather than one of the insidious alternatives. </span>Lucky me. The doctor said I should wait a month or more before I get my second booster shot since I still have a high degree of immunity.</p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">A question for my readers who’ve read this far: If you had COVID and lost your smell/taste senses, how long did it take for them to return? Did they, in fact, return?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>And if so, did you recover them fully or only partially? I would really appreciate hearing from you so I can manage my own expectations. I'm not complaining about my loss of smell and taste. I know too many people struggling with life-threatening illnesses to complain about something that picayune and I'm grateful I didn't know I had COVID at the time I had it, but I haven’t been able to find reliable statistics about the 20 percent or so of COVID patients who lose their taste/smell and how quickly they recover. If you’re reading this via a Facebook link, you can reply on Facebook. Otherwise, please email me at <a href="mailto:tom.dryden@gmail.com"><span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;">tom.dryden@gmail.com</span></a>.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 12px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">While I’ll never get tired of good bread, I never much liked mashed potatoes. And my teeth are going to rot away if I keep eating a dozen Tootsie Roll Pops a day.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><br /></span></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span class="Apple-converted-space">Thanks, and have a good day. </span></span></p>Tom Drydenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09479452534403199526noreply@blogger.com0