Tuesday, July 17, 2018

In good hands

Recorded voice: You have reached the desk of Angela Lindstrom, claims adjuster. I am either on another call or away from my desk. Please leave your claim number, name, and a brief message.

TD: Hi, my claim number is 555123456.  I just got a letter saying you need some information in order to process my claim. Here goes:

My legal name is Thomas J. Dryden.

My social security number is (redacted).

Although I prefer wine to beer,  don't watch TV sports and if I miss a day shaving, nobody really notices because I've never had a heavy beard, my legal gender is male. Perhaps I should consider transitioning but at this point it doesn't really matter.

My date of birth is November 17, 1951. I used to regret that my mother couldn't hold out a few more hours because then I would have been the third generation of my family to have been born on November 18th, but, after all these years, I've decided the 17th suits me better.

The date of my accident was, well, nine months before November 17th, give or take a few days, so I'll have to say February 17th, 1951. My parents always said I was an accident. Dad was 44, mom was 38, they already had two kids and weren't planning on having any more. I like to think I was conceived on Valentine's Day.

If you have any more questions, let me know.