Hate Comcast? Tell me about it. I'm writing a book. And you're writing it with me.

If, as Mitt Romney once said, corporations are people, then there's a special place in hell reserved for Comcast, the cable tv company.

It occurred to me today, after my latest experience, that I could write a book detailing my five miserable years as a Comcast subscriber. I could write about the incompetent customer service. About the products that haven't worked – Comcast long distance, Internet, high-definition TV and pay-per-view. About the time I called the 800 number after a frustrating experience in which nobody was able to help, pushed option 4 to disconnect my service, and was connected to a helpful representative who, to my amazement, actually solved the problem. "Whenever you call, always push option 4," he advised. "Comcast directs those calls to its brightest and most knowledgeable reps to try and prevent you from leaving."
I could write, probably, a dozen lengthy chapters.

Then inspiration struck. Why not invite you, my readers, to contribute chapters in which you share your own Comcast customer service horror stories? The best will be compiled into an ebook that will be featured on amazon.com reaching, potentially, millions of readers. Comcast subscribers tend to read a lot because their cable is often out.

I am confident that hundreds – probably thousands -- of Comcast's victims would enjoy publicly sticking it to the company that year after year, is ranked by its customers as one of America's very worst companies, yet runs commercials proclaiming it guarantees customer satisfaction. 

Not that I am able to see Comcast commercials or, for that matter, anything on my TV any more. 

After being out of town for three months, I returned home Monday, September 4. The cable wasn't working. I called Comcast. The rep said someone would come between 1 and 3 on Wednesday. Lo and behind, the guy showed up. After an hour or so, he announced he couldn’t fix the problem, but that another technician who could, would be coming by that same day. He handed me his supervisor's business card and advised me to call him if I experienced any further problems.

When the second guy arrived, he couldn’t fix it either, but promised that a third technician would be out on Thursday.

After waiting until 2 that afternoon, I called the supervisor whose card I had been given. An automated voice announced his voice mailbox was full and I couldn’t leave a message. So I called 1-800-COMCAST. After listening to a menu of options, I finally reached a human. I explained I was calling to find out when the technician was going to arrive. 

“September 25,” she replied. That’s 22 days from the date I reported the problem.

“You're saying I’m not going to have TV for three weeks?” I asked incredulously. She said that was the earliest they could get to it.

Comcast has no incentive to provide any service at all, much less responsive service. It is, after all, the only cable company in town.

I’m sure you are wondering why, if I hate Comcast so much, I keep it. The answer is, because I live in a planned development of 3,000 homes. My fellow residents and I pay for basic Comcast cable tv service in our yearly assessments. Comcast, in return for the community signing a bulk agreement, provides us with a dedicated channel detailing the many exciting activities and events of which we can avail ourselves.

Even if I had the ability to learn about these events on my TV, which I don't, I wouldn't be able to attend them because I’d be waiting for someone from Comcast to pick up the phone or show up at my door.

Mercifully, our community has other options for telephone and Internet service but when it comes to cable tv, Comcast is the one and only.

I have lots of other Comcast stories but I'm saving those for the book. And I look forward to receiving and reviewing your Comcast horror stories, too. You can email them to me. The address is tom.dryden@gmail.com 

If you're not a Comcast customer, please forward this to people you know who are … and post a link to this blog on your Facebook page so as many Comcast subscribers as possible will see it and respond. With your help, my request will go viral and the book will become a best-seller. Those of you who know me recognize I am being serious here ... and you know I have the ability to make this happen.

I have no clue whether our book will make a whit of difference in Comcast's service. Probably not.

But it will sure feel great to make the bastards squirm.