10 things you don’t know about “10 Things You Don’t Know” articles

Seems like half the feature articles online these days are headlined “10 Things You Don’t Know About” one thing or the other.

Curious to learn more about this increasingly popular genre of formulaic journalism? Here goes. 

1. "10 things" was the brainchild of the Iranian Ministry of Intelligence

Two years ago the Iranian intelligence service, which had been tasked with contaminating the USA's water supply with a drug to reduce the average American's IQ by 20 points, came up with an easier solution. A staff member developed a prototype for the first 10 Things article, which was placed on Buzzfeed. The rest is history.

2. They are tailor-made for the way we live today

10 Things articles are perfect for our attention-addled, multi-tasking society. They're short, sweet, and you don’t even have to read the text under the headings. Simply eyeball the bold text sentences that begin with the numbers 1 through 10 and you’ll get the gist of any 10 Things story.

3. Web site publishers love them

News and social media web sites know that stories that begin with 10 Things generate lots of click-throughs, which means lots of advertising revenue for them. Last week on the Huffington Post, for instance, “10 Things You Don't Know About Kourtney Kardashian’s Post-Baby Hemorrhoids” out-pulled an article on the same page headlined “U.S. Accidentally Nukes Toronto” ten-to-one, returning a tidy profit to Huffington’s parent company, AOL. (Psst. Check out the list at right of the "Popular Posts" on tomdryden.com. The two most widely-read both follow the formula.) 

4. You don’t have to be an expert to write 10 things about something

Simply come up with a subject most people know very little about (e.g. Einstein’s theory of relativity, American history, etc.) … look it up on Wikipedia … and, voila, you'll find 10 things about it that will come as news to some people. Submit your article to your favorite web site and you're in business!

5. No skill or talent is needed to become a 10 Things author

Any moron -- even one who flunked Freshman English -- can rewrite Wikipedia sentences and place numbers in front of them. And because there are no transitions between paragraphs, there's no need to worry about bridges as you would if you were writing a conventional feature article that required thought and skill.

6. There is something in every article to make readers feel smart

People who write 10 Things stories always throw in one or two facts their readers already know so the readers will feel smart. For instance, one of the “10 Things You Don't Know About KFC" was that the fast food chain specializes in chicken, and "10 Things You Don't Know About Ringo Starr" informed readers Mr. Starr was a Beatle.  

7. It's easier to write about complicated topics 

Paradoxically, 10 Things writers have found that the more difficult the topic, the easier and quicker it is to write about since it is unlikely anybody knows anything about it. The story that holds the record for being the fastest 10 Things article ever written, "10 Things You Don’t Know About Nuclear Physics,” was researched, written and published in one minute, twenty-two seconds.

8. The average American reads more than one hundred "10 Things" articles each and every month

And the genre is even more popular in China, where readers devour an average of 231 stories each month that start with "10件事情你不知道 …"

9. The Associated Press, Reuters and New York Times know a winner when they see one

Because the public no longer reads stories that don't begin with 10 Things, editors at the AP, Reuters and the Times have informed journalists that, effective September 1, every article must follow the 10 Things formula.

10. You’ll feel regret when you finish reading one

Seventy-three percent of readers say they actually feel dumber after reading a 10 Things article and 88 percent admit to being ashamed they wasted their time. See what we mean?