California governor Gavin Newsom answers your questions about Thanksgiving safety guidelines

Dear Gov. Newsom:

I plan to comply with the safety guidelines you issued for Thanksgiving celebrations — the event should be held outside and last two hours or less, no more than three families can attend, no singing, six feet of distance between guests, and bathrooms must be sanitized between each use — but have a dilemma. My four children are married and all have children. Are they considered four families or are we one family?

JR in San Jose

Dear JR:  If they live with you, you are one family. If not, they comprise four separate families and don’t forget that you and those who reside under your roof are also considered a family unit by the State of California, so we’re actually talking about five families here. Tell the two children you are least thankful for that, under normal circumstances, they and their families are welcome but not this year. 

Dear Gov. Newsom:

I am confined to a wheelchair and unable to sanitize my bathroom between uses. If I rent a port-a-potty for my outdoor celebration, must it also be sanitized after each visit or does your edict apply only to indoor bathrooms?

Barbara in Santa Barbara:

Dear Barbara:

Thank you for pointing out this critically important omission my health experts somehow missed. I have extended the guidelines to require sanitizing port-a-potties and outhouses after each use.

Dear Gov. Newsom:

I’m planning a quiet Thanksgiving — only myself and my 99-year-old mother. We live in a cabin high in the Sierras where the average temperature in late November is near zero. Must we a) celebrate outside and b) sit six feet apart?

Mountain Man 

Dear MM:

Yes. Rules are rules.

Dear Gov. Newsom:

Months ago I invited 18 guests for Thanksgiving but the balcony of my condo is only 80 square feet so it will be impossible to seat them six feet apart. What can you suggest?

Beverly in Beverly Hills

Dear Beverly: Move your celebration to one of California’s beautiful open spaces, like Death Valley, where there is plenty of room. Be sure to provide each guest with a cloth mask and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

Dear Gov. Newsom:

If a wildfire is raging near my home on Thanksgiving, must we still hold our celebration outside?

Nadine in Napa

Dear Nadine: Yes, but look on the bright side. You won’t have to turn on the oven to roast the turkey.

Dear Gov. Newsom:

My family traditionally sings “We Gather Together” before we sit down to dinner. Is it permissible to hum it if everyone is wearing a mask?

The Osmonds

Dear Osmonds: No. Humming would violate the spirit of my guidelines which are intended to protect all Californians. Planes equipped with listening devices will be circling our state's major cities and if we detect humming, you will be subject to arrest and/or fines. 

Dear Gov. Newsom:

I no longer want to live in a state in which my every move is controlled by despots like you. I am planning on jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge at noon on Thanksgiving Day. Any final advice for me?

GG in SF

Dear GG: Make sure you stand at least six feet away from any other Californian who is doing the same thing.