I spent my career in advertising. The first thing any advertising professional learns is that a product needs a USP – a Unique Selling Proposition that instantly differentiates it from its competitors.
And that is the problem with the candidates who are running
to secure the GOP nomination for president -- none of them have one. Their
positions on the core issues are pretty much the same.
As a public service, here’s a USP for each of them that will
make it easy for you to keep them straight.
Jeb Bush
The Bush with a Mexican wife
Ben Carson
America’s only Republican of African descent
Chris Christie
The one The New York
Times is most afraid of,
which is a good thing for a Republican
Ted Cruz
Alphabetically the first of the Hispanic candidates
Carly Fiorina
The one who doesn't have a penis
Lindsey Graham
If The Bionic Woman married America's most famous evangelist she’d be ….
Mike Huckabee
Wants America to be a theocracy like Iran but
Christian-based
Bobby Jindal
The one who made an idiot of himself
responding to Obama’s State of the Union address
George Pataki
The one who has been in the Federal Witness Protection
program for the last 10 years
Rand Paul
The opthamologist with a vision for America
Rick Perry
Good hair
Marco Rubio
The only one who could possibly beat Hillary and
even that’s debatable
Rick Santorum
Driven insane by abortion
Donald Trump
The one with a Las Vegas hotel named for him
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