Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Have yourself a merry Festive Season,
Let your heart be light.
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight
because CNN, the New York Times, WaPo, MSNBC and the rest of the MSM refuse to report anything negative about this inept administration.
The first Noel
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel,
Born is the king of racist, genocidal Israel.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
In the meadow we can build a snowman,
And pretend that he’s that Fauci clown.
He’ll ask, “Are you vaxxed?”
And we’ll say "Sure Thing!
We got our jabs at CVS downtown.”
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Grandma got run over by a registered sex offender
who had just gotten out of jail on a thousand-dollar bond for trying to
kill his girlfriend
and now she’s dead.
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Janice and Jen.
Barbies that talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Barney and Ben.
And mom and dad can hardly wait
For school to start again
But it looks like there’s a new variant
So they’ll probably resume remote learning.
The Christmas song
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your bits.
Yuletide carols being sung by the fire,
And folks dressed up like Inuits.
I saw three ships
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning.
And what was in those ships all three,
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day?
I have no clue, there weren’t enough union dockworkers to unload them or truckers to drive their contents to their final destination because they can’t afford the gas now that Sleepy Joe killed the pipeline and we’re once again dependent on OPEC.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?
But Rudolph said no because Santa wouldn’t provide him with a helmet or allow him to work from home.
You’d better watch out (for Alexa)
She hears you when you’re sleeping
She knows when you go poo.
She knows if you’ve been bad or good
Tracking everything you do
which is why you’re being bombarded with ads for Sleep Number beds and $10,000 Toto toilets.
Happy Festive Season, everyone (unless, of course, you don't celebrate in which case I hope you'll take no offense).
