The car salesman

Car salesman to me, as I am looking inside an SUV parked on the showroom floor: Beautiful, isn't it? 

TD: It is, but I'm looking for a sedan. A J-55 specifically.  I don’t see one here on the floor. Do you have any outside on the lot?

Salesman: I don’t know. I’m new here, I’m not allowed to sell cars, only to show them.

TD: Well, that’s all I want today -- to see a J-55. I’ve read the reviews and they sound great.

Salesman: I’ll go in the back room and get the keys to one. 

TD: OK.

Salesman, returning five minutes later: We don’t have any J-75s. 

TD: I didn't say J-75, I said J-55.

Salesman: Sorry, I’m still learning the differences between the models. It’s confusing. I’ll get the keys. 

TD: I’ll wait. 

Salesman (10 minutes later): I found the key to a blue one with tan interior. It’s parked outside. 

TD: Great, that’s the combination I’d want. Let’s go see it. 

Salesman, 3 minutes later, pressing the key fob and opening the door: Here we go, an X-55. 

TD: This is an SUV. I want to see a J-55. A J-55s’s a sedan, not an SUV. 

Salesman: Oh. I guess I just heard the 55 part. I’ll go back and get the key to one.

TD (pointing to a car across the lot): Isn’t that a J-55 over there?

Salesman: If you say so.

TD: It is. 

Salesman: Give me a minute, I’ll be right back.

TD: OK. 

(Salesman goes back in the showroom and emerges 5 minutes later, looking sheepish.)

Salesman: Uh, this one's a demo. Boss says we can’t sell it. 

TD: All I want is to look inside, sit behind the driver’s seat and get a feel for it. Can't I at least I sit in that one?

Salesman: Oh, OK. In that case, I’ll get the key. Can I grab you a bottle of water while I’m inside?  This dealership has bottles with their own label. 

TD: No thanks.

Salesman: You sure I can’t get you one? It’s hot out here. Summer’s coming for sure. 

TD: No, I just want to see the inside of a J-55. That’s J as is Jim, dash five five. 

(Salesman returns ten minutes later) 

Salesman: I’m sorry, but this one’s sold, someone’s coming to pick it up tomorrow morning. 

TD: That's fine, but did you get the key? 

Salesman: Uh, no. When the boss said it was sold, I ...

TD:  I’m going to take off. Thanks for your time.

Salesman: No, don’t leave. I’ll run back and get the key. Gimme a minute.

TD: OK.

(Five minutes later.)

Salesman:  Here we go. 

(He presses the key fob and opens the door.)

So, what do you think?

TD: I don’t know yet. Let me sit behind the wheel.

Salesman: These are the safest cars in the world.

TD: I know, I’ve owned three.

Salesman: Only one person has ever been killed driving one and that’s because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.  

TD: I don’t believe that. Of the millions of these cars that’ve been sold around the world in the last 50 years, only one person has ever died in an accident?

Salesman: That’s what I heard.

TD: Seems far-fetched.

Salesman: What do you think?

TD: The interior’s beautiful. And I love this dashboard, it’s one big computer, like a jet plane cockpit. Are you sure you don’t have a J-55 in that lot off to the side over there? I see dozens of cars. Surely one of them’s a J-55 I could take for a test drive, no? 

Salesman:  So now you want to go for a test drive? I thought you just wanted to look inside.

TD:  I did. And because I liked what I saw, I’d like to drive one if you have one available. Not far, maybe a mile or two. Just to see how it handles.

Salesman:  So, if you’re buying one today. I’ll have to get my manager for that. I can’t sell, just show. 

TD: I didn’t say I was buying one today. But I don’t think it’s too much to ask to see the inside of a car and take it for a test drive before I decide whether or not to buy it.  

Salesman: Let me get the manager and we can work out a deal. 

TD: Never mind. I’m leaving now, but before I go, let me ask you something. Is this the first job you’ve had selling cars?

Salesman: Yes.

TD:  How long have you been here?

Salesman: This is my second week.

TD: What’d you do before that?

Salesman: I’ve had lots of jobs.  

TD: What was the last one?

Salesman: Waiter.

TD: For how long?

Salesman: Four days, but I hated it. People are so rude.

TD: And before that? 

Salesman: I worked at Macy’s.

TD: Doing what? 

Salesman: Selling menswear. I got this tie with my employee discount. Do you like it?

TD: Very nice. How long did you work at Macy’s?

Salesman: Eight days. Wasn’t for me. 

TD: I have to go.

Salesman: Can I have your contact information?

TD: Give me your card and if I decide to move forward, I’ll be in touch.  

Salesman: I don’t have any cards yet, they’re still at the printer. 

TD: What’s your name?

Salesman: Paul. 

TD: OK, Paul.  

Salesman: Be sure to ask for me when you come back. I don’t have a desk yet, so I’ll probably be hanging in the employee lounge.

TD: OK, Paul. I will. Bye.

Epilogue: 

On the way back to my car, I walked past a row of J-55s, two of them blue with tan interiors. I bought one that afternoon at the next dealership I visited.