The family marches on

At 9 p.m. Sunday, the phone rang. Son Ben. He's a busy D.C. attorney. So busy we only talk once a week - on Sunday mornings before he goes into the office for the day. We had already had our weekly chat. Something was up.

"Ask mom to get on the other line," he said.

Once his mother picked up, he cut straight to the chase.

"I asked Heidi to marry me and she said yes."

Ben told us how, as they were watching TV, he pushed aside the coffee table, got down on one knee, popped the question and presented a ring.

He put Heidi on the phone. We told her we were thrilled. That we're looking forward to welcoming her to our family. That she'll be the daughter we never had.

Ben came back on the line while she texted a photo of the ring. We agreed it was a beauty, that Ben had done a great job.

He said he had carried it around for a month, waiting for the right moment.

We asked if they had set a date and they said no, they hadn't had time to think about it but we'd be the first to know.

We hung up feeling happy. And strange.

Ben's old enough - 29. And Heidi, as we have observed, is good for him.  She's a nice girl from Iowa. She's level-headed, industrious (she works for a congressman on Capitol Hill), and smart.  Most important, she genuinely loves our red-headed boy. They're an excellent match.

But, at the same time, it's a bit disconcerting.

One moment, you're the nucleus of your family. Then you pick up the phone and learn you've been kicked down a notch on the generational ladder as a new family is formed - one in which you're no longer the sun but one of several planets orbiting around it. You'll continue to host Thanksgiving dinner for the foreseeable future but, eventually, you'll be a guest at the table.

I called my 99-year-old mother to share the news. "The family marches on," she said with a tinge of sadness. "How's Judy taking this?"

"Judy's delighted," I told her.

"Well," she said. "It's hard for the mother of sons. You know what they say, 'A son is a son 'till he takes a wife ...'"

"Heidi's a good girl," Judy said as we were preparing for bed.

"Absolutely," I replied. "Anyone who loves Ben, I love already."

"And she'll pick out our nursing home someday," Judy said.

We turned out the lights, but neither of us slept.