You know the shows I'm talking about -- programs like CBS's 48 Hours Mystery and NBC's Dateline that rehash true crime stories which, by their nature, tend to be complicated, with lots of characters, twists and turns.
The folks who put these shows together know that millions of viewers aren't really concentrating; they're channel surfing, cruising the internet and/or texting. It is for the benefit of those attention-addled viewers that the producers feel compelled, after every commercial break, to recap what they have already told us.
It's annoying. It wastes time. Worst of all, it insults the intelligence of viewers who have followed the story from the beginning of the show.
Most of these programs unfold something like this:
Segment One: High school sweethearts Dick and Jane have a huge wedding but, upon returning from their honeymoon, Jane disappears. Jane's sister, Sally, is suspicious because Jane has confided she fears Dick is having an affair. When Sally confronts Dick, he claims Jane is in Guam attending a bowling tournament. (Commercial Break)
Segment Two: Dick and Jane's storybook marriage, her sister Sally has reason to believe, is troubled. And, suddenly, Jane is missing. Dick's explanation -- that Jane is on a remote Pacific island -- seems implausible.
Visiting Dick, ostensibly to bring him a home-cooked meal, Sally spots blood on the kitchen floor. Dick says he cut himself slicing rare roast beef. While he is in the bathroom, Sally finds a million dollar insurance policy on Jane's life, naming Dick as beneficiary. (Commercial Break)
Segment Three: Knowing her vanished sister, Jane, believes her husband, Dick, is having an affair, Sally discovers signs of a bloody struggle. Sally fears Dick has killed Jane to collect insurance. But where, oh where, is the body?
Sally goes to the police to file a missing persons report. They tell Sally to mind her own business. Sally remembers Dick's father is chief of police. (Commercial Break)
Segment Four: Beside herself with worry because her sister Jane has disappeared, Sally suspects that Jane's husband, Dick, who stands to gain one million dollars, knows more than he is telling. The police department, overseen by none other than Dick's father, refuses to cooperate.
Dick moves in with his bimbo girlfriend who begins driving around town in a new pink Cadillac. Sally assumes Dick bought it for her, knowing he will soon be coming into insurance money. Sally meets with the local newspaper editor, who declines to investigate. Sally remembers Dick's mother is the paper's publisher. (Commercial Break)
Segment Five: Sally has become obsessed by what she believes to be a cover-up by her brother-in-law, Dick, and his parents, who control the town. Her sister Jane, who looked so radiant the day she married Dick, is missing. Vanished into thin air. It's as if Jane never existed! And Dick? Why, Dick doesn't seem to care. Dick has a new love and is living the high life.
Sally shoots Dick to death in an Olive Garden parking lot as his girlfriend looks on in horror. The girlfriend seems particularly upset that Sally shot a hole in her new Cadillac, which, it turns out, she won for being a top Mary Kay representative. The next day, Jane returns with a bowling trophy. Sally is now on death row.
Sound familiar?
No comments:
Post a Comment