Interview “dos” and “don’ts” for new college grads

USA Today reports that some newly-minted college graduates are demonstrating what potential employers describe as “bizarre” behavior during job interviews. Human resource professionals say that one in five now exhibit what they refer to as “quirks.”

One recruiter complained about an applicant who brought a caged cat she played with throughout the interview. Another expressed annoyance about candidates who take calls and send text messages. One even bitched about an applicant who brought his father along to the interview, then took further offense when dad called to negotiate his son’s salary. (I think it showed gumption on the kid’s part to recognize that his dad had more experience in that department and can’t understand why the recruiter failed to appreciate it.)

Apparently, it’s getting tougher and tougher for kids to land their first post-college jobs, even in this robust economy that, according to The Huffington Post, is growing by leaps and bounds.

With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of interview tips new grads can follow to ensure they make a good first impression.  

Earbuds: It’s fine to wear them in the waiting room – you don’t want to have to talk to some stupid receptionist if you arrive early – but be sure to remove them and stash them in your pocket before you go in to meet with the interviewer.

If the interviewer asks if you would like something to drink: It's OK to request a bottle of water or, if you were up all night, can of Red Bull. It's not OK to request a tall half-skinny half two-percent extra hot split quad shot – two shots regular, two shots decaf – latte with whip unless you know for sure there's a Starbucks in the lobby and you noticed the interviewer's assistant didn't seem to be all that busy.

Drug tests: If the subject comes up, it’s not considered good form to ask, “Do I really have to take one?” If the interviewer says all applicants must pass such a test, don’t request that it be scheduled for a month after your start date.

Tattoos: Ink on your arms, neck and/or face shows you’re a conformist like everyone else and that’s exactly what big companies want so by all means display yours with pride and consider getting more.

Do not bring: Your parent(s) or cat. It’s fine to bring your gf, bf, bff, dog, snake, ferret or hamster as long as s/he is well behaved.

Do bring: Your resume. And make sure it's on paper (a material made from wood. Ask your parents).

Dress for success: Be sure to wear a top and bottom of some sort. If you wear a hoodie or stocking cap, remove it for the interview. Females and male-to-female trans-gendered applicants have the option, if they wish, of wearing a dress.

Demonstrate interest in the company: It’s important to give the illusion you are curious about the company, its mission and policies. One way to do that is to, at the end of the interview when you are asked if you have any questions, actually ask some. If you can’t think of any, here are some sample ones you might want to consider.

Does your cafeteria serve Coke or Pepsi products?

Where is the holiday party held and how many friends can I invite?

How long until I get a company-paid car?

Does your insurance cover my cat?

If I have to travel, do I get first class or do I have to endure business class?

What, exactly, do you people do?

Follow these tips and you’ll have a job quicker than you can say, “Dude, I’m stuck in an interview. Call back in a few.”