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Our Connecticut house, a rambling colonial that, according to the
realtor's marketing brochure, “is sited beautifully,
halfway up a rolling ridge, with a driveway that leads up through a sweeping front
yard enhanced with mature trees and a brick front walk,” is on the market.
The “For Sale” sign went up three months ago. So far … zippity
do dah.
What to do? Turn to St. Joseph, the guy the Bible
says was betrothed to Mary when she gave birth to Jesus. I’ve always admired Joseph because,
frankly, if my fiancee had given me that story, I wouldn’t have been as
magnanimous about it as he was. If anyone deserves sainthood, he does.
I had no idea that Joseph is the patron saint of real estate until friends – Catholics, Protestants, Jews – told us that if we really want to sell, he can help.
Specifically, they advised us to buy a
statue of St. Joseph and bury it, upside-down, in the yard. This, according to experts featured in numerous publications including The Wall
Street Journal, and the testimonies of dozens of believers I found online,
will draw buyers like ants to a picnic. There is, however, much debate about where the statue should be buried. Some say three
feet from the front door. Others say in the back yard. Or in a flower bed. Or next
to the “For Sale” sign.
Seems bizarre not to mention sacrilegious but as of ten minutes ago, a
made-in-China St. Joseph statue – $6.99 at a Christian Book Store – is
upside down in our yard.
I just pray I was
able to bury it deep enough in the rocky soil of Connecticut that the yard men don’t run over it with their mowers.
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