Headless body, drugs and AK-47s found in Bieber’s limo

(Satire)

Atlanta police, responding to a tip from a limousine driver who says he was hired to drive Canadian pop star Justin Bieber, today said they found “troubling” evidence that the teenybopper, who is in the U.S. on a green card, may be involved in illegal activities.

Captain Billy Bob Jones, spokesman for the Atlanta Police department, said that officers found 46 pounds of crack cocaine, 24,152 ounces of marijuana, 16 pipe bombs, 12 AK-47s and the decapitated body of a young woman in a Cadillac limousine that had been used by Bieber and his entourage during a trip to Atlanta.

Bieber’s spokesman denied that the items belonged to the star or anyone who accompanied him on his recent trip to Atlanta where he is believed to be searching for a home. “The Biebs did leave behind a Butterfinger wrapper and an empty Evian bottle. But he has no knowledge whatsoever of the other items, and extends his sympathy to the family of the young woman during this difficult time.”

Representatives for the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service refused comment. A petition to deport Beiber has been signed by more than 200,000 people and submitted to the White House.