An interview with Teddy

My wife and I just returned home from four days in Washington, D.C. where we met our first grandchild, Theodore Edward (Teddy) Dryden, who was kind enough to take time from his hectic schedule to sit for an interview.

TD: You were due April 21 but arrived March 19. What was the rush?

Teddy: I didn’t want to miss March Madness. I had my money on Michigan. My dad went there for his undergraduate degree so I’m a fan.

TD: Were you able to watch any of the games?

Teddy: Unfortunately not. The neo-natal intensive care unit at the hospital had a strict “no TV” policy.

TD: You spent your first 16 days in the NICU but have been home for three weeks now. What’s the major difference between life at home and life in the hospital's neo-natal unit?

Teddy: About $20,000 a day.

TD: Now that you’ve met your grandma Judy and grandpa Tom, what is your impression?

Teddy: They seem well-intentioned but babble like babies whenever they talk to me, argue over who gets to hold me and generally fawn over me the same way I’ve heard they treat their dachshunds who, everyone says, are spoiled beyond redemption. I find their behavior disturbing because I carry some of their genes.

TD: Which one of them is your favorite?

Teddy: Grandma’s an excellent burper – she rubs her hand lightly in a circular motion on my back while talking jibberish and I absolutely love that. On the other hand, Grandpa has promised me a trip to Disney next month. It’s a toss-up.

TD: You’re D.C. born and bred so I have to ask. Do you consider yourself a Democrat or a Republican?

Teddy: Up the day I was born I worked with my mother in the office of a Democratic congressman on Capitol Hill and I couldn’t help but absorb some of what was going on there, so I definitely appreciate the Democratic POV. But, I understand that some people, including members of my own family, are Republicans so I’m going to pass on that question for now. I wouldn’t want my answer to influence their choice of Christmas or birthday presents.

TD: What is your biggest fear?

Teddy: That Russia will return to Communism under Putin, that hyper-inflation will erode the purchasing power of the dollar and that Malaysian and Chinese authorities aren’t telling the truth about the plane that disappeared.

TD: Wow. Very impressive.

Teddy: Realistically, other than eating, growing and sleeping, I don’t have a lot to do at this point so I listen to CNBC and CNN all day and night. I'd have to guess I'm probably better informed than the vast majority of Americans.

TD: Anything else you fear?

Teddy: Missing a meal. I have nightmares about that. Speaking of which, I see mom coming into the room with a bottle right now, so I’m going to have to cut this short.

TD: Thank you Teddy.

Teddy: Thank you Grandpa.