A quick interview with Hillary Clinton

This is the second in my series of five-question interviews with leading presidential candidates. (For the first, an interview with Donald Trump, click here.)  Today's candidate: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

TD: Your campaign is faltering. Polls indicate that voters mistrust you. What would you say to that?

HRC: All I can say is that once people get to know me they’ll fucking love me and see I’m the only fucking candidate with the experience needed to run this fucking country. I’ve been fucking First Lady, a goddam senator from New York and Secretary of State for chrissakes.

TD: NBC anchor Brian Williams was demoted for making up a story about being shot at in a war zone. During the 2008 campaign you claimed a plane in which you were flying as First Lady came under fire as it was landing in Bosnia, which was later disproved. If NBC thought it appropriate to demote Williams for lying, why do you think the American people should elect you president when you basically did the same thing?

HRC: I was fucking exhausted the day I said that. I fucking misspoke, OK?

TD: As Secretary of State, you used a personal email server that was wiped clean before being handed over to the FBI. Do you regret that decision?

HRC: I don’t know shit about computers. Up until a few months ago the only server I knew about was the fucker who plops a piece of rubber chicken in front of me at a fundraising dinner. I had no goddam idea there was a server in my fucking house. At any rate there was nothing on it except Chelsea’s wedding plans and yoga tips from the many friends I’ve made as I've traveled around the world representing this goddam country. As for wiping, the only wipe I know is that asswipe Joe Biden who, if he’s really thinking about running against me, would do well to watch his fucking back.

TD: Last week you told college women who claim they have been sexually assaulted that, and I quote, "You have the right to be heard. You have the right to be believed and we are with you." Juanita Broderick claimed your husband, when he was governor of Arkansas, raped her, and Paula Jones said he exposed himself and propositioned her. Do you think they should have been listened to?

HRC: I was talking about college women, not trailer trash whores. 

TD: It has been reported you cuss like a sailor. Is that true, and if so, do you believe that is appropriate behavior for someone who wants to be leader of the free world?

HRC: That’s a fucking lie, don't believe it.

TD: Thank you Secretary Clinton.