Watson for President

I woke up planning to write something funny about last night’s presidential debate but the more I think about it, there was nothing funny about it.

In one corner we had a megalomaniacal hypocrite who has amassed a fortune by gaming the system, making undeliverable promises and spewing meaningless rhetoric to appeal to uneducated voters.

In the other we had Donald Trump.

If Clinton or Trump were running for dogcatcher, I wouldn’t vote for either of them. 

Before last night’s debate, 60 Minutes featured a story about IBM’s Watson, the super computer originally created for Jeopardy, that has amassed knowledge from millions of data sources and has the ability to come to conclusions based on that data. Among other applications, Watson’s power is being harnessed to help doctors prescribe life-extending treatments for terminal patients for whom they have run out of ideas.

Maybe we should dispense with elections altogether and, starting in 2020, install Watson as president. Watson has never talked to Access Hollywood about grabbing someone’s genitals. He doesn’t go around making speeches and collecting massive fees, telling Wall Street fat cats one thing and his supporters something different. He has never denigrated anyone because of their ethnicity nor claimed to be an advocate for victims of assault except for those assaulted by his spouse. Watson has never established a foundation that accepts contributions from George Stephanaopoulos or countries that oppress women. Watson doesn't mock the handicapped, has never defamed the families of our fallen soldiers, or set up a private server to hide his political activities. Watson is articulate. Watson inspires. Watson represents the best of what we Americans can do.

The United States has become so complicated to govern that, frankly, it may no longer be governable by mere mortals. In an age in which all of us have unlimited access to information but aren’t able to process it because we tend to get it from web sites that reflect our own prejudices – and we, like the presidential candidates, all have them –  Watson can take data from any and all sources and create policies that benefit the common good.

Watson could make decisions about social issues, free of political influence. By interpreting data from doctors, hospitals and insurance companies, Watson, better than anyone, could set up a health care system that works. Watson could devise the best possible economic policies, save us billions by eliminating duplication, and devise a tax code that moves us forward and creates jobs. Watson could analyze every battle and conflict that has ever taken place and make projections to determine the best foreign and military policy, and could recommend Supreme Court justices by analyzing their decisions as lower court judges, based on their adherence to a nuanced Constitution that takes into account how America has evolved since the original was written.

I’d certainly vote for Watson, along with a Congress comprised of Apple-based computers running on software that represents the needs of their particular districts.

Wouldn’t you?

Whatever your answer, future generations probably will.