Dining with Tommy

My wife has been out of town for the last five days, visiting her mother.

We generally eat fairly well-balanced meals when we’re together – sandwiches for lunch, and some form of protein, a salad, and side dish for dinner. But when the cat’s away? Here’s what I've eaten. Every word, alas, is true.

Saturday

Breakfast: 4 cups of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee with 2% milk.

Lunch: None.

Dinner (at Sweet Tomatoes, a buffet restaurant that specializes in salads):  Plate of green salad with ranch dressing and croutons, plate of Zesty Tortellini deli salad, side dish of macaroni and cheese, bowl of chili, two slices of pizza.

Snack: Two bottles Michelob Ultra.

Sunday

Breakfast: Same as Saturday.

Lunch: Package of Stouffer’s Chipped Beef over two slices of wheat toast, topped with two slices of cheese and liberal amount of freshly ground pepper.

Dinner (at Kentucky Fried Chicken all-you-can-eat for $7.99 buffet): Two chicken breasts (original recipe), mashed potatoes, gravy, slaw, stewed tomatoes, three biscuits with honey butter. All my fellow diners would have described it this way: "Dos pechugas de pollo (receta original), puré de patatas, salsa de carne, repollo, tomates guisados​​, tres galletas con mantequilla de miel." 

Monday

Breakfast: Usual.

Lunch: Bowl of Cheerios with 2% milk, half package of Bob Evans’ Farms Mac & Cheese.

Dinner: Three bottles Michelob Ultra, cheeseburger, half a watermelon.

Tuesday

Breakfast: Usual except for milk in coffee (ran out after first cup).

Lunch: Half box of Anderson’s Pretzel Stix, remainder of Bob Evans Mac & Cheese.

Dinner: Large pepperoni pizza.

Wednesday

Breakfast: Usual. (Leftover pizza would have been good but there wasn't any.)

Lunch: Stouffer's Chipped Beef over toast with cheese.

Dinner: Cheeseburger (no bun), large container of Publix Macaroni & Cheese (meant to serve a family of four), bowl of fruit salad.

My wife comes home tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll still be around to pick her up at the airport.