Are you an honest-to-God New Englander?

A Facebook friend from Connecticut posted a quiz she found online, “How New England Are You?"

It asks questions about clambakes, the Big E (the Northeast’s version of a state fair), maple syrup, etc., but doesn’t ask the real questions that differentiate New Englanders from folks in other parts of America.

As someone who spent half my life in New England, I’ve devised my own quiz (below). Take it, then see the bottom of this post for scoring information to find out if you're an honest-to-God New Englander. 

1. There’s a moving van next door. How long do you wait to introduce yourself to your new neighbor?

a. 10 years

b. 25 years

c. 50 years

d. Maybe someone’s moving out, not in. How would I know?

2.

(For women only)

How much do you spend annually on make up?

a. $.1.50

b. $.1.00

c. $ 0.50

d. What is this “make up” stuff you are referring to?

(For men only)

What is your most important summer wardrobe item?

a. Lime green corduroy trousers with embroidered whales

b. Rhubarb colored Bermudas with embroidered nautical flags

c. Turtleneck sweater to stay warm while watching Fourth of July fireworks

d. The penny loafers I wear without socks

3. What percentage of your income do you pay in taxes (a combination of Federal, state, sales and local property)?

a. 70%

b. 80%

c. 90%

d. 95%

4. The Middle West begins:

a. In the Berkshires

b. Somewhere in New Jersey

c. Just west of the Middle East

d. Every year when The Wizard of Oz is rebroadcast

5. Which of these service providers do you consider to be most essential to your well being?

a. Primary care physician

b. Dentist

c. Surgeon

d. Snowplow man because, without him, I couldn’t get out of my driveway half the year to visit the other three

6. The cashier at my local supermarket has never once:

a. Smiled

b. Said “thank you”

c. Acknowledged my presence in any way

d. All the above and that’s fine by me

7. My favorite sport is:

a. Lacrosse

b. Skiing

c. Sailing

d. Jogging at dusk along narrow winding roads with stone walls on either side that drivers have to swerve into to avoid hitting me

8. The last Republican I voted for was:

a. Scott Brown

b. Lowell Weicker

c. Henry Cabot Lodge

d. Abraham Lincoln

9. How many rounds of antibiotics did it take to eradicate your Lyme Disease symptoms?

a. One

b. Two

c. Three

d. Can’t recall – Lyme Disease has affected my memory

10. The longest my home has been without electricity due to a hurricane or out-of-season blizzard is:

a. one day

b. one week

c. two weeks

d. one month

Give yourself a “10” for each “D” answer, and a “5” for any other answer.

You are a true New Englander if your score totals 75 or more.

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