12 Boomer songs that make no sense to Millennials

1. Do You Know the Way to San Jose? (Dionne Warwick, 1968)

No, but why not program it into your GPS? Or ask Siri?

2. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number (Steely Dan, 1974)

Put it in your cell phone. Better yet, call me right now and I'll be on your contact list. 

3. Kodachrome  (Paul Simon, 1973)

Let me get this straight: You put a roll of something called "film" in a device called a "camera" that was totally separate from your cell phone ... took pictures ... had to take them to a drugstore  ... and wait several days ... then you got back something called "slides?"

4. The Letter  (The Box Tops, 1967)

One of many songs – others include Please Mr. Postman, Take a Letter, Maria and Sealed With A Kiss – about an extinct form of communication, sort of like hieroglyphics.

5. Return to Sender  (Elvis Presley, 1962)

Another song about letters, today it would be entitled, Delivery To The Following Recipient Failed Permanently.

6. Knock Three Times  (Tony Orlando & Dawn, 1970)

Better yet, sext me to show me exactly how much you want me.

7. Gotta Get a Message to You (Bee Gees, 1968)

Why didn't he just text?  It's not like he could call her back if she didn't pick up. BTW, my parents always told me there were three Bee Gees. How come there are five here?

8. 409  (Beach Boys, 1962)

Why would anyone record a song about a brand of cleaning spray?

9. (Gonna Put it In The) Want Ads (Honey Cone, 1970)

You mean “Craigslist,” right?

10. Young Girl (Gary Puckett & The Union Gap, 1968)

This bastard made millions singing, "you've led me to believe, you're old enough, to give me love and now it hurts to know the truth?" What about the poor girl he molested? I hope he's listed in the National Online Registry of Sex Offenders so his neighbors know to watch out for their kids.

11. Please Mr. Please (Don’t Play B-17) (Olivia Newton-John, 1975)

You mean people in restaurants and bars had to listen to music other people picked out? Eww.

12. Back in the USSR: (Beatles, 1968)

Good thing they recorded it back then because even the Beatles couldn't have had a hit with a song called Back in Russia Estonia Latvia Lithuania Belarus Kazakhstan Georgia Ukraine Azerbaijan Armenia Turkmenistan Moldova Uzbekistan Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan.


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