Exclusive: Presidential debate questions revealed!

TOP SECRET MEMO

October 1, 2012

To: Jim Lehrer, Debate Moderator

From: The Committee of Journalists for an Impartial Media

Re: Debate questions

The committee met this afternoon to determine the questions you are to ask during Wednesday’s presidential debate. Here they are, in order.  

1. Governor Romney, you say 47 percent of Americans pay no taxes and that is why they will vote for the President. As a rich man with Swiss bank accounts, why do you hold the hard-working middle class folks who built this great nation in contempt?

2. Mr. President, what are Sasha and Malia’s favorite school subjects, and why?

3. Governor when you ran for office in Massachusetts, you said you supported a woman’s right to choose but today you are against it. Please explain how you can so easily flip-flop positions to fit your political agenda.

4. Mr. President, on behalf of a grateful nation, thank you for killing Osama bin Laden. If you had to do it over again, would you?

5. Governor Romney, under the President’s strong, decisive leadership, America is producing more oil than it has in 14 years. Your energy plan calls for the destruction of our fragile environment. Why are you willing to subject our children to the pollution it will produce?

6. Mr. President, can you tell us more about Bo, the Obama family dog?

7. Governor, your wife, like you, was raised rich, has never held a paying job and attended the London Olympics to watch her horse in the equestrian dressage competition. Why would she be a better first lady than one who was raised poor in south Chicago, earned scholarships to Princeton and Harvard Law, and has dedicated her life to public service?

 8. Mr. President, can you remind us about your humble upbringing and why it makes you better qualified than your opponent to deal with the problems of working class Americans?

9. Governor, you propose reforming Social Security and Medicare but claim nothing will change for seniors already enrolled and for those nearing retirement. How much more will the average working 25-year-old have to pay into these plans under your proposal, and how much less will he or she receive in terms of benefits?

10. Mr. President, when you took office the Dow Jones average was hovering around 8,000. Today it is north of 13,000, a gain of nearly 60 percent. I’m sorry, I see we are out of time. Thank you Mr. President and Governor Romney and thank you, America, for watching.