And the Password is ...

Loved Password, the old game show hosted by Allen Ludden.

But I hate having to remember the numerous Passwords required to log on to or use web sites I visit regularly, including (but not limited to):

ebay.com: Over the years I’ve bought nearly 300 vintage travel posters. Why? So my children can someday call Hoarders, stage an intervention, and earn enough royalties from the episode to pay for my nursing home.

tripadvisor.com, where I post reviews about hotels I liked, such as the Serena Hotel in Buenos Aires (“Phenomenal Value”) and those I didn’t, including the Jameson Inn of Wilson, N.C. (“Room Smelled Of Urine”).

comcast.com, the cable company that serves our Florida house, where I can read about how much Comcast cares for its valued customers whenever I log on to find out when service will be restored to my area.

citicards.com, so I can pay my Citibank American Airlines World MasterCard bill at 11:59 p.m. the day it’s due.

bsu.us/ to pay the monthly water bill using my Mastercard so I can earn miles.

aa.com. Not Alcoholics Anonymous -- American Airlines, where I can keep track of frequent flyer miles and book free trips with the miles I earn. Despite its recent bad press, AA is the best. Its frequent flyer program actually rewards customers for their loyalty unlike that of …

delta.com, where, if I get lucky, I can book a free flight for triple the number of Skymiles Delta claims are required. How this God-awful company has survived these many years is beyond me but I have 450,000 Skymiles so I hope it lasts long enough to use them for a free economy class ticket to Atlanta someday soon.

cvs.com, where I can order Lipitor and blood pressure medicine refills without having to call the pharmacy and punch in prescription numbers an automaton order-taker repeats back s-l-o-w-l-y, as if I were an idiot.

huffingtonpost.com, an aggregator of news articles carefully selected to appeal to liberals who either a) don’t work or b) inherited their money and feel guilty about it, where I post argumentative comments under stories with which I disagree. 

linkedin.com, so I can ignore friend requests from business associates I never liked in the first place who are out of work and suddenly need me to say nice things about them to potential employers. 

wellsfargo.com for personal banking. It isn’t nearly as user-friendly as its predecessor, wachovia.com. On the other hand, Wells Fargo Bank survived, even with its lousy web site and reps who give you lip when you call the 800 number. Wachovia, which had a great web site and treated customers like royalty, didn’t. Go figure.

seekingalpha.com, a free, sometimes hilariously bad, investment newsletter featuring articles from contributors who often appear to be eighth graders. I only use the password to make comments to stories.

paypal.com, an account I had to establish to pay for the stupid posters.

archives.com, so I can find family documents for the book I was writing but have set aside because even my mother, who likes everything I write, says it’s boring.

lucianne.com, another news aggregator, this one founded by conservative pundit Lucianne Goldberg, to whom Linda Tripp confided that her friend Monica Lewinsky was giving hummers to Clinton. There I post argumentative comments on stories carefully selected to appeal to an audience that is slightly to the right of Hitler.

wiltonlibrary.org, where I can make sure any book on CD I checked out for the 1,340 mile drive from Connecticut to Florida, and mailed back, has been received. The Wilton Public Library is great. The Bonita Springs Library here in Florida isn’t. Most of its books are LARGE PRINT editions for its geriatric clientele.

cablevision.com, the cable/Internet/telephone provider for our Connecticut house, where, once I check out what’s on the 801 TV channels we receive, I usually wind up reading a book. It also enables me to forward our land line to Florida so we won’t miss a single robocall from Rachel at Cardmember Services.

amazon.com, to download Kindle books and order Christmas presents since I refuse to set foot in a brick and mortar store during December.

barnesandnoble.com, where I order real books I’ll eventually donate to the Wilton Library.

apple.com, where I download iTunes, most of which I am purchasing for the second time because I bought them 45 years ago on vinyl. Latest download: It Hurts To Be in Love by Gene Pitney.

centurylink.com, which provides phone and Internet to our Florida place. I could save money with Comcast's Triple Play cable/phone/Internet package but I tried that once and it was as unreliable as Comcast cable. (Why is Internet capitalized? Anyone know?)

gmail.com for email and to post to this blog.

yahoo.com, where I post misleading stock tips on message boards in the Finance section. If I think a stock is about to go up, I diss it so readers will dump it, driving the price down so I can hopefully buy it cheap. Everyone else does the same thing.

jetBlue.com, where I track points earned for flying back and forth between New York and Florida. JetBlue recently revamped its generous frequent flyer program. Now it sucks.

americanexpress.com, so I can pay my bill and track the Membership Miles I’ve earned that aren’t, alas, transferable to American – only to Delta and JetBlue.

aetna.com, enables me to review how much my health insurer did or didn’t pay toward medical bills Einstein couldn’t decipher.

wellsfargo.com, for business banking.

nbcnews.com, where I post comments on stories handed to NBC and MSNBC by the Obama press office for which its so-called “reporters” are mouthpieces.

ezpass.com, a place to track charges to the electronic device that enables me to breeze through tollbooths which, on the east coast, are on almost every road except the street I live on, and I’m expecting to see one there soon.

pelicanlanding.org, the Master Community Association for our Florida house, where I can find out about exciting activities like bocce, yoga and meetings of the butterfly club.

colonyfoundation.com, the sub-master community for our Florida house, so I can check the menus at the clubhouse.

kma-company.com, the sub-sub master community for our Florida house, where I can learn what days of the week I’m allowed to turn on the sprinkler system.

gateaccess.net, a site that enables me to authorize guests and workers to pass through the front gate of our Florida community, which is harder to get into than Harvard.

etrade.com, where I can track a stock portfolio consisting of three shares of Apple that have lost 20 percent of their value in two weeks.

facebook.com, so I can learn what friends had for lunch, see photos of their grandkids, and shamelessly plug this blog. Hardly anyone uses Facebook any more. If you own the stock, for God’s sake dump it now.

Some passwords are all numbers. Some are alphanumeric. Some are all lower case. One is all UPPER case. Some are a combination of UPPER and lower case. A few are actual words. Some contain the last four digits of my phone or Social Security numbers.

Astonishingly, I remember them all. But there’s going to come a time I won’t.

And when that happens, it ain’t going to be pretty.