Weight watching

Last night we went to an Italian restaurant.
I couldn’t decide what to order. Everything sounded good.

Luckily, the family at the next table – a couple and their college-age son – received their food shortly after we sat down so I could see what they ordered. The wife had one of those individual pizzas the size of a salad plate. The husband and son had pasta.

Over the next half hour, the wife ate exactly one slice of her pizza (but not the crust). The husband and son took four – maybe five – bites of pasta. When the waiter asked if they wanted doggy bags, they said no.

I don’t get it but then, I love to eat. Always have. I weighed 220 pounds at age 15. Too fat. My senior year of high school I went on a starvation diet. By graduation, I tipped the scales at an anorexic 140. Too thin.

For 43 years I’ve maintained my weight at a reasonable 180 through a combination of exercise and dietary restraint. It’s a nonstop struggle because I
a) would rather sit on my ass all day and b)  have the appetite of a billy goat.
I could easily consume two pizzas, a barrel of KFC (original recipe), a dozen glazed doughnuts and an entire pecan pie at one sitting. When I read about food contest winners who downed 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes, I ask, “That's all they could manage?" 

My wife and I once went to dinner with a client and her husband. We ordered chicken. Only a little meat was left on the bones by the time we pushed back our plates. “Are you finished?” the client’s husband asked. “Yes,” we replied. He picked up the bone from my plate and, like an Electrolux, sucked the remaining meat off it. He then did the same with my wife’s. It was fascinating and revolting at the same time and we couldn't act as if we found his behavior odd because he was, after all, the client's spouse.

If I had to choose, I'd rather eat like my client’s husband than the family we sat next to last night. Food is one of life’s greatest pleasures. I don’t understand people who don’t enjoy it, or, even more inexplicably, eat tasteless food – tofu, fish, lettuce, fruit and stuff like that – just to stay thin. 

I could write more but need to bike to the gym, a 12-mile round trip. When I get home, I’m making brownies. Publix was having a “buy one, get one free” sale on Duncan Hines Brownie Mix that I couldn’t resist. I'll make the first package in a couple of hours and, assuming my wife doesn't sneak a sliver from the pan, eat them all after dinner. There was a BOGO on Pillsbury Frosting, too, but I didn't buy any, even though I prefer my brownies slathered with fudge. 

Moderation, you know.