An interview with a 102-year-old woman

Ruby and her children, Tom, Judy and Jerry.
Summer 2012.

My mother, Ruby Marie Tate Dryden See, turns 102 tomorrow. I’ve written a lot about her over the years and whenever I have, many of my readers have written to say they wish they could meet her.

If you’re among them, today’s your lucky day because this afternoon I decided to call mom and interview her for this blog. She resisted, protesting that nobody cares about anything she has to say. I reminded her that I’ve never met a 102-year-old and doubt that any of my readers have either, so they’d most definitely be interested in hearing from her. After several minutes of back-and-forth, she reluctantly agreed.

(Words in parentheses and italics are mine, not hers.)

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TD: To what do you attribute your longevity?

Ruby: I never smoked, for one thing. I ate exactly what I wanted but it was, for the most part, good wholesome food. And I’ve always found life interesting and something to look forward to.

TD: You’re incredibly sharp for someone my age (63) much less someone 102. What’s your secret?

Ruby: I’ve always been interested in the world around me. I’ve always read a lot. Haven’t watched much TV. I enjoy my iPad a great deal because it gives me a much bigger picture of what’s going on than TV does.

TD: What are you reading now?

RDS: I’m re-reading To Kill A Mockingbird.

TD: You’ve lived through 11 decades. I’ll name the decade, you tell me the first thing that comes to mind. Ready?

Ruby: OK.

TD: 1913-1920.

Ruby: My childhood in Mineola (a tiny town in east central Missouri). Sledding in winter. Swimming in Loutre Creek in summer. I was always active.

TD: The 1920s.

Ruby: That was the era of the flapper and I longed to be one though I was anything but. I was also fascinated by the Teapot Dome scandal (that almost brought down the Harding administration). I was only nine or ten and didn’t understand everything that was going on but I couldn’t wait to read about it in the paper every day.

TD: The 1930s.

Ruby: Graduating from high school (in 1931). Marrying Bud (my father, in 1933). And Jerry’s birth (in 1935).

TD: The 1940s.

Ruby: The war was on. We moved to Auxvasse (a small town in central Missouri, from an even smaller town in eastern Missouri in 1944) and bought the store (Dryden’s General Store & Drygoods).

TD: The 1950s.

Ruby: Those were good times. The war was over. America was prosperous. There were lots of new inventions like the automatic washing machine that made life easier.

TD: The 1960s.

Ruby: Kennedy was assassinated and I lost Bud (in 1966, to cancer).

TD: The 1970s.

Ruby: It was a time of readjustment. Widowhood. Traveling to other countries for the first time, which broadened my perspective greatly. And I moved to Columbia (in 1976).

TD: The 1980s.

Ruby:  I enjoyed living in a big town. I took a creative writing class. Ellen (her oldest grandchild) was with me a lot (attending the University of Missouri). Judy’s children (her daughter’s children) were small and I enjoyed being near them. And I married for the second time (a high school classmate, Bill See). He only lived four years after that but I enjoyed him and his family enormously. Be sure you mention that because it’s true. I love Bill’s family, they’ve been good to me.

TD: The 1990s.

Ruby: I had my first serious illness (open heart surgery in 1998), played a lot of bridge, traveled to visit my family and enjoyed my home.

TD: The 2000s.

Ruby: I couldn’t have many goals for myself, I was too old by then. So it was a time of focusing on the achievements of my family.

TD: 2011 to the present.

Ruby: The robbery (in November, 2011) – a man pushed his way into my house. I thought he was going to kill me. I testified at his trial (at which he was convicted and sentenced to 70 years as a repeat offender) -- I'd never been in a courtroom before. And I moved to this place (an assisted living facility that I don’t think mom will mind if I say she detests everything about it but is realistic that it’s the right place for her at this point in time).

TD: If you could go back and do one thing differently, what would it be?

Ruby: I’d be a better mother and wife.

TD: I thought you were a pretty good one.

Ruby: I could have done better. I could have encouraged you all to study more. I could have been more mature. I never really grew up until Bud died.

TD: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned over the last 102 years?

Ruby: That the world is a great deal bigger than me and my concerns.

TD:  If a genie appeared and said he could turn back time and allow you to re-live one specific day, what day would you choose?  

Ruby: The day Jerry was born. He’s been a wonderful son. I didn’t realize at the time what a great gift a child is.

TD: What has been your greatest pleasure?

Ruby: My children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Did you see that Marilyn (her granddaughter) posted on Facebook that the play Tatum (Marilyn’s daughter, her great-granddaughter) wrote is going to be produced next month at Xavier (Tatum’s college)?  

TD: Yeah, I saw that. Who’s the one person, other than a family member, you admired most?

Ruby: Mildred Domann (her best friend during the Auxvasse years). She was so organized. I always admired women I thought were better mothers and managers than I was.

TD: What’s your biggest regret?

Ruby: That I never had a profession other than raising children. I would liked to have been a writer and to write about small towns – stuff that gets glossed over.

TD: If you could go back and relive any period in your lifetime, what would it be?

Ruby: I’d go back to life in Auxvasse with Bud and we’d have the store.

TD: What advice do you have for anyone who wants to be 102?

Ruby (laughing): I don’t really have any. Just do the best you can, that’s all I can say.

TD: Thanks, mom. This is exactly what I was looking for. My readers will enjoy this.

Ruby: You are prejudiced. You and I are so close because I raised you by myself after Bud died. I don’t think anyone other than our family is going to give a shit about anything I have to say.

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Five minutes after our called ended, mom called back.

Ruby: (firmly): I am not giving you permission to print anything we just discussed unless you write that I told you that nobody would care about anything I had to say.

TD Mom, you said it very eloquently as we were finishing up. I wrote it down verbatim and plan to print exactly what you said, the exact way you said it.

Ruby: OK, then. Jerry (her first baby, whose birth was the most memorable event of her 102 years, and who will be 80 in July) just called from Kansas City. He and Nancy will be here in time for dinner. Talk to you later.