Teddy, our 12-month-old grandson, is visiting. Knowing my readers are always eager to hear whatever Teddy has to say, I sat him down for an interview on the beach yesterday.
TD: So Teddy,
your mom said you were good on the airplane except you played with the armrests
for two and a half hours straight. What else did you enjoy about your first
flight?
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: That’s a beach umbrella to keep the sun off Teddy so he won't get all wrinkly like grandpa.
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: That’s called sand.
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: Grandpa’s soda.
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: That’s a
Cessna 150 pulling an "Eat at Mel's Diner" banner.
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: That’s a sailboat. Can you say boat?
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: Like I said,
this is called a beach umbrella.
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: Looks like a Slim Jim with blonde hair but it's a skinny old lady with skin like leather, wearing a bikini. She's here every day.
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: Sand again. Can you say sand?
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: The boat -- we just talked about that. It has a red sail. Can you say ...
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: Sand. Lots of sand. As far as you can see in both directions.
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: This is a beach towel. It's purple …and red …and yellow and ...
Teddy (pointing): Dis?
TD: That's the tramp stamp on the skinny old lady with the leathery skin. She'd have been better off spending her money on something to eat instead of on a tattoo, don't you think?
TD: That's the tramp stamp on the skinny old lady with the leathery skin. She'd have been better off spending her money on something to eat instead of on a tattoo, don't you think?
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: That’s
grandpa’s nose. Where’s Teddy’s nose? Can you show me Teddy’s nose?
Teddy (pointing):
Dis?
TD: No, that’s
a man on a jet ski. Lookie, there it is! There’s Teddy’s nose! It's right between his eyes and
his mouth! Can you say eyes?
Teddy: Dat?
TD: Sand again. I can, if you want me to, identify each and every grain of it on this beach but take my word -- it's all sand. Miles and miles of sand.
Teddy: Dis?
TD: Ouch, that's my chest hair! Let go, it hurts!
Teddy (pointing): Dis?
TD: Sand. A billion, jillion, quadrillion grains of sand. I'd put you down and let you play in it but you'd eat it. "Sand"... can you say that?
Teddy (pointing):
Dat?
TD: Smart boy
Teddy, that's good talking! What else do you want to talk about about?
Teddy (pointing): Dis?
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