The Pope needs a new butler. Are you up for the job?

As the world knows by now, the Pope’s butler has been fired for leaking secret documents to Italian journalists.  A new butler is required ASAP.

tomdryden.com has obtained a copy of the job application in case you want to apply.  

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VATICAN HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT 
LISTING BUTL-HH-402  (Butler to His Holiness)

Thank you for applying for this vital position to help advance Christianity worldwide.
Kindly complete the brief quiz below to help us determine your worthiness.

An hour before His Holiness is to appear on the balcony to bless the poor, you notice the Holy Father's dress has a wrinkle. What do you do?
( ) Steam it using SteamBuddy Multi-Use Garment Steamer
( ) Iron it on “rayon” setting
( ) Send it to One Hour Martinizing but tell them you need it back in 50 minutes
( ) Any or all of the above but ask His Holiness to slip out of it first

In the middle of the night His Holiness buzzes you and says he can’t sleep. What should you bring him?
( ) A glass of White Zin from Vatican vineyards
( ) His favorite Vienna Boys’ Choir video
( ) Bowl of milk toast
( ) Tylenol PM

As the Papal plane is about to land, the pilot warns it is raining at your destination. You (choose all applicable answers):
( ) Locate umbrella to hold above the Holy Father as he descends the plane's steps
( ) Pray it stops
( ) Call ahead to order advance workers to erect portable pavilion to protect His Holiness
( ) Make sure moonroof of Popemobile will be closed upon landing

Which one of these does not belong on the Holy Father's bedside table?
( ) Bible
( ) Picture of Jesus in solid gold frame
( ) Copy of The DaVinci Code
( ) Secret papers detailing Vatican Bank dealings

The Holy Father is about to travel to a hot humid climate and you are packing his bags. Which one of the following is His Holiness most unlikely to need?
( ) Right Guard
( ) Summer linen dress
( ) Mist bottle containing Evian
( ) Hitler Youth membership card

Enclose recent photo of yourself and digital copy of Confirmation Certificate and email to Vatican Human Resources. If you don’t hear from us within 24 hours, you can assume the position has been filled. Thank you and have a blessed day.